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    sparacus's Avatar
    sparacus Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 22, 2009, 06:06 PM
    I just confessed my feelings to a coworker
    Some coworkers and I all went out for a friends birthday. My best friend at work and I drank a lot and I ended up taking her to my place. When I took her to my bed She was very reluctant and I was semi persistent at what I wanted at that moment. I asked her if she wanted me to stop she then took me forcefully and we made out and messed around, didn't have sex, but pretty much did everything else. I also confessed to her that I have feelings for her. After a great night and some great conversations, that day is over and tomorrow is Monday. Right now I'm a bit sick to my stomach I don't want things to be awkward and I want some more of what I got last night I have no clue how to approach this situation, I have liked this girl for a while and now its all out there only thing now is that I'm still not sure how she feels, she's been in a long distance relationship for the last year so my main questions are How do I approach her tomorrow, how can I get her to open up to me and why she took the initiative after I said I would stop?
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #2

    Mar 22, 2009, 06:28 PM

    she's been in a long distance relationship for the last year
    That would indicate to me that she is not available.

    Perhaps the drink went to her head and she was just feeling lonely.

    I am sure right now she is dreading tomorrow also.

    why she took the initiative after I said I would stop
    Because she did not want to stop.
    That does not mean she will feel that way come tomorrow.It could have been the heat of the moment and the alcohol loosening her inhibitions.

    I would not read anything more into it.

    Tomorrow will be awkward but I suggest you have lunch together ,alone , be mature and decide how you are going to proceed.
    Good luck,these office affairs can become messy and I hope you can, at best, maintain your friendship.
    none12345's Avatar
    none12345 Posts: 1,439, Reputation: 234
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    #3

    Mar 22, 2009, 11:29 PM

    Maybe things will be the opposite than you think? Approach her like nothing happened and if she brings it up talk to her about how nice it was last night and you would like to see her again. Ask her out for lunch. Lunch is better because its short not like dinner and less pressure. GOOD LUCK
    Dare81's Avatar
    Dare81 Posts: 264, Reputation: 44
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    #4

    Mar 23, 2009, 12:28 AM
    She's been in a long distance relationship for the last year so my main questions are How do I approach her tomorrow, how can I get her to open up to me and why she took the initiative after I said I would stop?
    She messed around with you when she has already has a boyfriend,and you like this girl and want to date her .hmmm.Move on and find someone else who has some decency and morality left in her
    sparacus's Avatar
    sparacus Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Mar 23, 2009, 07:10 PM
    She messed around with you when she has already has a boyfriend,and you like this girl and want to date her .hmmm.Move on and find someone else who has some decency and morality left in her

    Ouch that is cold... well it wasent to bad at work today and she seemed to play it off like nothing happened I guess that's all I could hope for right? Later this week I'm going to see how things are going and go from there thanks for all the advice guys
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Mar 23, 2009, 09:34 PM

    You two got drunk, and slobbed all over each other, so it must have been okay to help her cheat.
    ZoeMarie's Avatar
    ZoeMarie Posts: 2,049, Reputation: 468
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    #7

    Mar 23, 2009, 09:42 PM

    If she is acting like nothing happened, I would do the same. I wouldn't even bring it up later in the week. If she's in a relationship, long distance or not it's best not to push anything.
    theartofm's Avatar
    theartofm Posts: 16, Reputation: 2
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    #8

    Mar 24, 2009, 12:46 AM

    Be cool at work, make a point to smile and say hi, but not an OBVIOUS point. Just be everyday with her.

    On Thursday, ask her out.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #9

    Mar 24, 2009, 05:24 AM

    If I hooked up with someone who had a boyfriend and then got in a relationship, wouldn't I be stupid to think she wouldn't do the same to me?

    Ask yourself that, and then rethink your position
    A mouse's Avatar
    A mouse Posts: 42, Reputation: 5
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    #10

    Mar 24, 2009, 02:13 PM
    Ok, do you want more of what you got that night, or do you want the wonderful person and brain I'm sure this girl has? If you just want the physical parts, please stay away from her. Another thing, she's in a relationship. Whether it's long distance or not makes no difference. I believe in treating everyone as though they are all my sisters or brothers, and to be with somebody who already has a boyfriend is like betraying your brother. Don't do it. She was drunk, you were drunk, you stupidly fooled around. Leave it at that.

    -Mouse
    Survivor07's Avatar
    Survivor07 Posts: 380, Reputation: 143
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    #11

    Mar 24, 2009, 03:09 PM

    Pursuing her romantically may not be the best way to go.

    She is involved and cheated, with you. She may want the two of you to forget it ever happened... or she may be confused in her relationship... still not good... meaning she'll need time to move on.

    You mentioned she was your "best friend at work". If you want to maintain a good working environment and a friendship, then TALK to her, sober.

    I'd start with asking her where her relationship stands before you think of anything further.

    You don't want to end up being the guy who amuses her while she's away from her boyfriend.

    (You don't want to wind up being the boyfriend that she cheats on either... )

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