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    lilian79's Avatar
    lilian79 Posts: 16, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 13, 2006, 10:55 AM
    My boss and Her boyfriend
    My boss has a boyfriend that's young about 20 years younger than she is, well they go through this spells where now she has kicked him out the house and his back into his mom's, nice guy his just young and stupid, well the first time she took him back, the second time she took him back, the third time she begged him to come back and this time she kicked his ***.. lol really... and I think this time its for good,, she seems to be doing fine right now But I know that soon she is going to be going to the same mode where she gets depressed and sad and moody... I am also her only friend around here.. so I want to be able to help her but she is really high strong all the time but deep inside I know she is like a cloud soft and predictable.. How can I tell her that its time to let go. what can I do to help her out with trying to tell her what to do?
    NeedKarma's Avatar
    NeedKarma Posts: 10,635, Reputation: 1706
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    #2

    Oct 13, 2006, 11:00 AM
    Personally, I would allow my boss to have a personal life and not interfere unless I was asked. And even then...
    lilian79's Avatar
    lilian79 Posts: 16, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Oct 13, 2006, 11:19 AM
    Its hard not to get in it.. when she asks me all the time, and she tells me every detail.. its like she wants me to agree with her... I wish I can explain it, and not only that she has no one... her kids are off doing their life.. and it does hurt me to see her this way.. but maybe you are right I should just not say anything,, but its going to be really hard... lol
    charlie123's Avatar
    charlie123 Posts: 93, Reputation: 19
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    #4

    Oct 13, 2006, 11:34 AM
    I too at one point in my life made a friendship with my boss. It can be really touchy! I think if I learned anything - it was to try to keep work & friendships separate. But now your situation... and this goes for any friend (boss or not) - try not to get involved. I think there are 4 major rules of a friendship.

    1. Don't Loan or Borrow Money
    2. Don't ever date an ex
    3. Don't give opinion on how they are as a mother/wife/friend , etc.
    4. Don't make negative comments about husband or boyfriend
    (Unless of course it's something serious - like abuse or something like that)

    Because if you did one of 4 above - there WILL BE resentful feelings. If you trashed your boss/friend's boyfriend & then she decides to take him back again - you might lose your friend & your JOB!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,991, Reputation: 10852
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    #5

    Oct 14, 2006, 06:04 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by charlie123
    I too at one point in my life made a friendship with my boss. It can be really touchy! I think if I learned anything - it was to try to keep work & friendships separate. But now your situation ..... and this goes for any friend (boss or not) - try not to get involved. I think there are 4 major rules of a friendship.

    1. Don't Loan or Borrow Money
    2. Don't ever date an ex
    3. Don't give opinion on how they are as a mother/wife/friend , etc.
    4. Don't make negative comments about husband or boyfriend
    (Unless of course it's something serious - like abuse or something like that)

    Because if you did one of 4 above - there WILL BE resentful feelings. If you trashed your boss/friend's boyfriend & then she decides to take him back again - you might lose your friend & your JOB!

    This is good.
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,473, Reputation: 760
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    #6

    Oct 14, 2006, 07:10 PM
    Wait until she comes to you looking for advice. Then it's fair game. Otherwise you're just meddling and she's not likely to appreciate that.
    lilian79's Avatar
    lilian79 Posts: 16, Reputation: 2
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    #7

    Oct 20, 2006, 03:27 PM
    Cool... Thanx for the advice... I am staying away...

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