Hi - I had a baby 3 months ago. The childbirth was terrible. I had 4th degree tears, lots of cutting, tearing and had a recto-vaginal fistula repaired about 8 weeks ago. I had gone to my gyno and was told I should be able to have sex but to go slow as everything was healing well.When I had my gyno pap done it was VERY painful when she was opening the clamp as well. So we gave it a whirl and he wasn't able to enter me more than an inch w/ out me pushing back in very sore pain. It felt as if a knife was coming in. I decided to investigate it myself and found that if I use my finger I don't feel any pain though it seems I hit an instant wall and have to bend my finger. Not sure if that is how it was before. Is this normal? I know that area has been under some serious trauma and needs time to heal but I don't know anyone that has gone through this and wonder if I was sewn too tight? Is this possible?
Any help would be so appreciated. Thank you.

I had a similar delivery almost 22 years ago! (yikes - has it been that long? ) I had all the things you did in that birth. It took me years to repair completely. When my ob/gyn sewed me up, he made a ridge down the middle and it was sore and irritated even when my daughter was 12! On a bright note... it did get better. Sex became less and less painful with time. You learn to adjust. Did your ob/gyn have any comments about the painfulness during the exam? If not - that wouldn't surprise me. It was just a mere 3 months since you gave birth. Sounds like a long time, but it's not. Give it more time. If you are still suffering 9 months from now, I'd make an appt. and see your ob/gyn so they can make sure you have healed properly.

I didn't have a traumatic birth but after birth I am tighter than I have ever been or at least as tight as when I first had sex. Strangest thing, wondered if any one else had it but I can't complain lol

I never tore in any of my births (3 altogether) but I seem to get tighter with each one. 9 weeks after my 3rd and sex has actually gotten very uncomfortable verging on painful. I hate it.

You are still healing. It may take years for you to be the same size you were before the baby.