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    LennaG's Avatar
    LennaG Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 26, 2016, 02:36 AM
    Confused about when I conceived/who the father is?
    Had sex every weekend in March with my Ex. We broke up end of march. Had one night stand with a guy on April 2nd or 3rd. Got positive pregnancy test on April 7th. Got positive urine test at clinic (Very faint) on April 8th. What are the chances it was from the 1 night stand?

    Also, first U/S at 7 weeks said Due Date Dec 18th. Dating scan at 12+ weeks said due date of Dec 13th (5 Days earlier).

    I know there is no way to know 100% without DNA testing, just want to know who is most likely the father and when I conceived. Also, don't know when my LMP was.
    Curlyben's Avatar
    Curlyben Posts: 18,463, Reputation: 1857
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    #2

    Aug 26, 2016, 02:37 AM
    Dates are far to close to call.
    the ONLY surefire method will be a DNA test AFTER the birth.
    LennaG's Avatar
    LennaG Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Aug 26, 2016, 02:43 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Curlyben View Post
    Dates are far to close to call.
    the ONLY surefire method will be a DNA test AFTER the birth.
    I can't DNA test. Neither guys live in the same state anymore and have no way of contacting them.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #4

    Aug 26, 2016, 04:21 AM
    Without a DNA test you simply won't know which the father is. Anything else is literally akin to consulting a Gypsy Fortune teller, or Ouija board because it could just as easily be either mans.

    That means...no child support etc...etc. Living in the same state means little...do you know anyone who knows them or how to get a hold of them?
    catonsville's Avatar
    catonsville Posts: 894, Reputation: 91
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    #5

    Aug 26, 2016, 04:56 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    Without a DNA test you simply won't know which the father is. Anything else is literally akin to consulting a Gypsy Fortune teller, or Ouija board because it could just as easily be either mans.

    That means...no child support etc...etc. Living in the same state means little...do you know anyone who knows them or how to get a hold of them?
    You are right smoothy, even the Ouija Board has a 50% chance of picking who the father is.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,970, Reputation: 6056
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    #6

    Aug 26, 2016, 05:58 AM
    If you got a positive test on on April 7th, the probability is it wasn't from the April encounter. But that doesn't mean its not a possibility. As noted the only sure way is through a DNA test.

    Also as noted, you owe it to your child to make every effort to find these mean so a) they can help support the child and b) the child will know its father.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,857, Reputation: 10852
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    #7

    Aug 26, 2016, 06:52 AM
    You will have to notify them both, and ask that they submit a sample. Just because you have no way to contact them doesn't mean you don't try to find a way. No doubt if you wanted another encounter you would try to find them,so put the same perseverance into finding out who the baby daddy is for the sake of your future child.

    This is a lot more important than just having sex isn't it?
    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
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    #8

    Aug 26, 2016, 07:37 AM
    Unless there is a specific trait that one person has that the other doesn't it will be REALLY hard to determine which person is the father. The timeline favours the Ex', but that is a 60-40 favour.

    You should, if able, tell both that you're pregnant and that either one could be the father. Even though they're out of state you should be able to contact them and get a DNA sample for testing. You managed to get together to have sex, what is a little more fluid transfer?
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #9

    Aug 26, 2016, 07:55 AM
    What date was the first ultrasound? Was the 7 weeks based on your estimated LMP or the ultrasound? Early stages of development (the first few weeks) usually follow a very standard pattern and can give a more accurate timing of conception. It is still not an exact answer/date.

    Due dates mean very little in determining when conception took place. They are based on the development of the fetus. Due dates are expected to change.

    You do need to contact both men. At very least you need to contact your ex. Start with family and mutual friends. Facebook or other social networking sites are tools you can use. You don't have to tell people why you are looking for him. If you are showing or have told people about the pregnancy, then you may find out he has already been told about it. As the higher possibility, he definitely will need to be tested. The other man needs to know he is possibility.

    Not only do you need to contact the father of the child because he has rights and child support, but because you and the child need to know about any genetic predisposition to diseases and disorders which might run in paternal family.

    Even with all this going on, don't forget to take care of yourself and the baby. A safe and healthy pregnancy is the main focus.
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
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    #10

    Aug 26, 2016, 08:41 AM
    It's likely your ex's baby because a pregnancy test normally isn't positive until two weeks after a missed period, following conception. For you to get a positive result two or three days later would be pretty unlikely.

    Nevertheless, people screw up dates all the time and you cannot be positive and need to have the DNA test done. You may need to hire someone to help you find the two men, or at least find your ex initially so he can be tested, and if he not the father then you look further. You have the entire pregnancy to find him.

    It would be a huge disservice to your child not to make the effort. It is not that hard to find people these days. As for him being out of state, doesn't matter - DNA testing can be done by mail. He would provide a swab and you'd swab the inside of the baby's mouth. DNA testing facilities can work with you to figure it out.
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #11

    Aug 26, 2016, 01:59 PM
    Your ex would be the father for a number of reasons.

    1) A pregnancy test (urine or blood) would not pick up a pregnancy 4-5 days after the encounter. Blood test might pick it up 7 - 10 days after ovulation. Urine test would take a bit longer.

    2) An early ultrasound will give you fairly close dates (within several days plus or minus) as to gestation... especially later in the first trimester. As was said, in the early weeks, babies follow a rapid and predictable growth pattern and measurements are easily made. Later in pregnancy, ultrasound is less accurate for dating purposes as growth patterns become more individual.

    3) That the due date changed slightly, moving it forward, at your 12 week scan (which is often a dating scan), moves conception back even more.

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