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katay1616 · May 21, 2016, 10:45 PM

My best friend lives 3 hours away and we talk every day and I love hearing about her day, but whenever she starts telling me about specific details of her life I start to feel sick and usually can't make it through a conversation without puking. Is there something wrong with me or the relationship?

Fr_Chuck · May 22, 2016, 12:12 AM

Yes, there is something wrong with the relationship. Talking about things (unless they are discussing using the toilet) should not make you physically ill.

I would consider not talking about those details or talking to them less.

Homegirl 50 · May 22, 2016, 06:49 AM

What specific details of her life make you sick? Perhaps you should not talk about them with her. Tell her you don't want to hear it.
Do these details remind you of something painful in your life, or do they make you jealous?

katay1616 · May 22, 2016, 09:24 AM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

What specific details of her life make you sick? Perhaps you should not talk about them with her. Tell her you don't want to hear it.
Do these details remind you of something painful in your life, or do they make you jealous?

You see I'm not sure.. . I think it's mainly when she talks of her friends and what they do together. She helped me through some really tough times late last year and I am so grateful for it and I want to be here for her, but when she talks about her problems, or even the good things, I can't seem to take it. I feel as though I'm being super self-centered and am focusing all the conversations on me, and I don't want to do that either

Oliver2011 · May 22, 2016, 02:24 PM

Does this friend know what reaction you have to the conversations? Is it something you tell her or do you keep it from her? What are your ages?

katay1616 · May 22, 2016, 03:36 PM

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

Does this friend know what reaction you have to the conversations? Is it something you tell her or do you keep it from her? What are your ages?

No I haven't told her.. . We're both 17

Alty · May 22, 2016, 03:40 PM

Sounds like you're jealous of her new life, her new friends, and want to continue all the focus on you. When that doesn't happen, when she talks about her life, you get sick because you don't like the attention taken away from you.

smoothy · May 22, 2016, 03:51 PM

These are friends... not the center of the universe. If you are getting worked up enough to make yourself sick over what a friends says or does... I see a very unhealthy obsession at work even if one is not yet recognized. Even if this was your own child parent or sibling, I'd say maybe you went a step too far... But a friend... show some concern, yes, be honest with them, yes... take any of it so serious you make yourself sick... no way in heck.

Homegirl 50 · May 22, 2016, 05:49 PM

Originally Posted by katay1616

You see I'm not sure.. . I think it's mainly when she talks of her friends and what they do together. She helped me through some really tough times late last year and I am so grateful for it and I want to be here for her, but when she talks about her problems, or even the good things, I can't seem to take it. I feel as though I'm being super self-centered and am focusing all the conversations on me, and I don't want to do that either

Sounds like you are jealous of her. That is pretty self centered. You need to get over yourself and either be a friend or stop talking to her.

Oliver2011 · May 22, 2016, 07:00 PM

The last three comments my thoughts as well.

Value your life and friendships. Don't allow others to control your value to this world.

Alty · May 24, 2016, 06:33 PM

Yup, jealousy, plain and simple. We all see it. Now you need to see it and deal with it.

You're sick because the attention isn't on you. You need to deal with that.