 |
|
|
 |
New Member
|
|
Apr 18, 2010, 07:13 PM
|
|
Why can't I seem to get a boyfriend?
Well, here's my problem: and I'm feeling pretty lost with it. I don't have a boyfriend. Never did- and I'm starting to get that horrible feeling that I never will! I am 16, average weight, 5'5", I take pride in how I look and I try my hardest to just be an all around good person. I'm active in school, all As and high Bs, the vice president of a health/medical club, and I also have a pretty thriving social life. I also have a lott of friends, both guys and girls, but no guy never seems to want to like go to the next level with me. Well, that's sorta not true, I mean I get compliments and I know some guys do like me, but I'm just not interested back, and I do give people a chance- nothing has ever seemed to work out thou. I'm not overly flirty by any means, but sometimes that stupid little school-girl crush way of acting comes out- but I think that happens to everyone. And I feel like I have the guy, but then it's like they wake up and something happens and we just settle as friends. But I'm kinda tired of always being the best friend, and having to sit through convos with the guy your still secretly crushing on but you treat as your best friend and hearing them go on about how hot some girl is. and I really hate how guys seem to always like the "I'm going to put myself out there and act really mean to everyone" and act like a person that belongs on a street corner, because I can't do that. I can't act like a female dog and I'm just not that pushy with guys. I like to think that if something was meant to happen, I wouldve. But I think a lot of my problem is that I won't kiss a guy on like the first or second or third date even, which is NOTHING like everyone else where I live, and I could never do that. I just don't feel comfotable and I hate when guys think they can just have me as a toy and nothing more. Even thou I've kind of never let that happen, seeing as I haven't even had my first kiss yet, I just really want someone I can hang out with, and not get into agruements all the time or have it a purely physical thing. I guess I kind of have to say it because it gives a better insight to my problem... but I get told I have a really hot body too. But that's not what I want to be wanted for! I want a guy to like my personality and I would much rather be called beautiful than 'hot' or 'sexy'!
|
|
 |
Senior Member
|
|
Apr 18, 2010, 09:55 PM
|
|
You are expecting a lot out of high school age boys it sounds like. Teenage boys are sex driven crazy creatures (I was one myself.) Of course they want a kiss (at least) on the second date (at most.) Doesn't mean you are easy, just means that you are affectionate. Guys like attention and you don't got to act like a hoochy. You can be flirtatious, without putting it all out on the line. Some men just don't like the complicated girl and most at that age are not looking for long term, meaningful, relationships. (in this I was a different story.) I'm weird though. As you all mature together, you will start to see a shift in their motivations.
Maybe they feel threatened by you because you are a strong minded person. Maybe they don't feel as smart as you. The issue sounds like you are setting your sights too high though, not because you can't get the really hot guy but because you won't except the not so hot guy. If you are really hot then avarage guys may be afraid to ask you out in fear of rejection.
You never really know at that age but I promise you that sooner or later you will find someone special. You do got to give a little affection though, or you will be sending the wrong message. (NOT SAYING SEX!! Or anything close to it for that matter. I am talking hand holding, kissing, hugging. That's it.) Do not go further than that.
And just as an fyi, if you want someone to hang with that you don't fight with, then you are looking for a friend. If you are actively with a guy, then chances are you will fight sometimes and the fights will certainly suck. Fights with a boyfriend or girlfriend are especially hard to deal with because they hurt the most. Just looking out for you. Wish you luck in the coming years.
|
|
 |
New Member
|
|
Apr 19, 2010, 02:30 AM
|
|
Oh Larken, thanks! I had no idea what kind of response I would get because I just really didn't know where I was, but your right. I think I may be a little scared of, you know, how blunt guys are? Maybe I do just need to cut loose a little and relax and just have fun and take it as it comes. :) thank you so so much, I'll for sure take what you've said to heart!
|
|
 |
Senior Member
|
|
Apr 19, 2010, 02:49 AM
|
|
Hey its what I do :D jk. No I am glad my advice helped you in some way. I am surprised that no one else responded but hey its quality not quantity right lol. Have a good one and good luck.
|
|
 |
New Member
|
|
Apr 20, 2010, 09:16 PM
|
|
If u have your mind set on one guy right now try to get him to notice you. But don't put yourself so far out there they think you're a freak. Just remember you aren't the only one who has the same problem.try to drop little hints that you like those guys. Don't go to extreme where it will ruin your friendship, but if they see that you like them they might have the same feelings for you.
|
|
 |
Ultra Member
|
|
Apr 20, 2010, 11:40 PM
|
|
I know not having a boyfriend feels like a big deal now (remember, I was 16 not that long ago), but its really not anything you should be stressing about. It sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders. You still have plenty of time dates. And eventually, you'll find a guy who wants to be more than just friends. Probably a few guys at least before you settle on one, if you even ever want to settle down with just one man.
A tip for when your guy friends start going on about "that girl is so hott..." start in about how hot or sweet or funny some other guy is. I've had some good guy friends over the years. Anytime they started saying too much awkward stuff about girls they liked in front of me, turning the tables and making them realize what it was like was a real fast way to change the subject ;)
|
|
Question Tools |
Search this Question |
|
|
Add your answer here.
Check out some similar questions!
Boyfriend vs ex sort of boyfriend
[ 3 Answers ]
I've like this guy for 8 - 10 months his name was lets say Scott. Scott and I never actually went out but we liked each other. Said ' I love you' and held hands did what normal couples would do. He didn't ask because he wanted to be 100% sure if out relationship would last. I liked him a lot...
Confused feelings about current boyfriend,ex boyfriend
[ 27 Answers ]
Okay background story,
My ex and I dated for a little over 2 years, I loved him so much and he was faithful and good to me. The problem was that he wasn't as outgoing in a sense as I was, and he wouldn't take me out, I mean he took me out every weekend, but it wasn't to do like new stuff, stuff...
Ex boyfriend or new boyfriend?
[ 7 Answers ]
Well my boyfriend just broke up with me about a week ago anndd I just found out that he still likes me but I don't know what to do because he already has a girlfriend and I also just found out that another guy{i have liked for about a year now}likes me and wants to ask me out but I have no idea...
How do you get a girl who has a boyfriend, and her boyfriend is your friend
[ 13 Answers ]
Im those type of guys who does what makes them happy irrespective of who/what gets hurt in the process. My happiness is always first when it comes to me. So I'm sleeping with this girl and she is dating my friend. I've suddenly developed feelings for her and I want her to be with me:cool:I think I...
View more questions
Search
|