I'm 17 and I've been a cutter since I was about 12... this year I started taking sleeping pills to kill myself nothing works... I hate my life I hate myself I want to die so bad... I feel alone... I'm stupid I'm retarded I can't do anything rite... I'm a up... I had a messed up life and it is continuing... I keep thinking I had enuf I've bin tortured enuf... imy mom is around bt not around me... my dad doesn't even claim me I don't have 1 single friend. I swear I cry myself 2 sleep... n sometimes I don't even sleep... I'm stupid... I get mad and I hit myself I don't know why I just can control it I don't want to hit myself... when I cry I can't breath... I hate myself and I hate my life I just want to die... I just want to die... I'm tired of faking happiness... ders none there... I hate how I look I hate me... I have such an attitude and I don't want it... I want to be nice... I want to be pretty... people tell me all the time I'm so pretty but I don't feel it... I'm ready to let everything go... things I've been trying obviously don't work... I have stupid scars for no reason because none of them went deep enuf I'm ready for it... bt something is telln me nt to I just need help... I pt it all out there