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    Justalonelygirl's Avatar
    Justalonelygirl Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 17, 2016, 09:12 AM
    What should I do?
    So I've met this guy about 2 weeks and a half ago, we are going to be classmates in the fall at university. He is really nice and sweet and we talk all day long, from the time we wake up and till we fall asleep, he really gets me and he said that I'm the first girl with whom he has so much in common, we get along pretty well. He supported me through my problems and I did the same for him and he said that he is starting to fall in love with me and that he can't wait to see me in a month and a half, when we start university. We text, call and videochat and we are talking about anything and I've started to fall in love with him.

    I've never had this kind of connection with anyone before and even though I haven't met him face to face I feel like he may be the one person I needed in my life for the past years. He said that he really wishes to be together with me and we call each other 'babe' and sometimes act like a couple. But I do have a big problem: the both of us got out of a relationship like one month and a half ago, the difference is that he was with his ex for 10 months and they've got along pretty well, compared to me who I was with my ex for 3 months only and we fought more.

    He still keeps in touch with his ex daily from what he told me, but my gut feeling is telling me that he is still not over his ex. This thought keeps bugging me daily and I'm feeling really down because I'm really starting to love with him and I want to start a relationship with him in the fall.
    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
    Adult Sexuality Expert
     
    #2

    Aug 17, 2016, 10:27 AM
    It would be good to keep this as a relationship but keep the romance out of it. There are a few things here to note:
    1). Guys and girls can be platonic friends.
    2). Exes can be platonic friends. This could be something YOU will need to accept and not something you should expect him to change.
    3). Things change with proximity. What seems perfect at distance could be VERY bad close by. I know this by experience.
    4). At university you have your studies, your job, and your social life, but only the resources for two of those. Your choice. Is your social life going to hinder your studies? Think about this rationally, you could be sacrificing your future for a person who may or may not be into you.
    5). You both could be rebounding off the other.
    6). You CAN'T know who someone is after two weeks. Especially at a distance. You can't know who someone is after two years arguably. You're rushing into this.

    The end choice is up to you but you're thinking about this with your heart and not your head. This might not be the right time or place for this relationship. I would stay friends with him because you're connecting so well, but wouldn't get closer. IT could make things REALLY hard in the future when you need to blow him off, or he blows you off, to study or something else.

    Be careful.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #3

    Aug 17, 2016, 11:51 AM
    In addition to all that good advice:
    'I feel like he may be the one person I needed in my life for the past years' - no! You don't need one person (ideally you have yourself, and don't 'need' anyone, which makes you sound needy, and no one likes a needy person).
    You need friends in school, not a boyfriend. Friends, friends, more friends, including some attractive guys, but relationships start and come to awful grinding ends most of the time, as one person gets talking to another cute girl or guy, and all of a sudden they have dumped you. When you are young, "relationships turn on a dime."

    One more thing: getting along with an ex is a sign of someone who has healthy relationships. Sure, any one can end bitterly, but staying friends means you care about people, even the people you can't get along with anymore. DON'T confuse that with continuing attraction. Jealousy, suspicion, and possessiveness are painfully unhappy and lonely traits to have. (Of course we all get jealous; it's natural. But we keep a lid on it. Jealousy is a sure way to drive someone away.)
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Aug 17, 2016, 12:01 PM
    I think you just slow down... way down, and just be friends and see how things go after 6 months of face to face interaction. Seriously, love and romance after 2 weeks of chatting? That's just down right CRAZY, and you are already jealous?

    Control yourself young lady, that's what you do. You can't be THAT desperate for a boyfriend can you?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #5

    Aug 17, 2016, 05:15 PM
    You don't even know each other. 2 weeks and you're in love. Please! Slow your roll.

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