Hey I'm 14 years old and I think my mom is cheating on my dad. They've been married about 16 years and I don't remember the last time I saw them happy. They are always constantly fighting and mad at each other. Anyway I began getting suspicious a couple years ago when my mom was always on her email. She would always be on her computer and would never let me into the same room. Then she got a cell phone and at first she would talk on it until one day in the car I heard her talking to someone and say "You can't call me by my real name" and "the first time i walked into your office it was like christmas". I could tell she wasn't talking to my dad because she hates him... no she literally hates him, and on the phone she was all smily and giggly (which she never is). Anyway later that day I started getting really scared and she asked me if anything was wrong that's when I asked her what she meant when she was on the phone. She said when she walked into the office and it felt like christmas was when she was when she went to the hospital and was giving birth to me. I knew that wasn't what she meant, I know I was little but I wasn't stupid. Anyway she stopped talking on the phone to who ever this person was and I thought it had ended until she started texting a lot. And every single time I ask her who she's talking to she would either get mad at me, say I was always in her business, or "everybody". (thats what my best friend says to her mom when she doesn't want her to know who she is talking to) Now she has a blackberry and it has a password, she always has it right next to her, she gets mad if anyone touches it, and she's always on it. I thought it might just be any person she is texting but I'm sorry but she only has one friend. Today I went to go see a movie with her and she was texting and I looked over to see who it was and the name of the person was the name of her old company which she no longer works for. I think she is using the name to cover up the person real name. Idk what to do. What should I do?

There really isn't anything you can do. If you say anything then you are splitting your loyalty to your parents in a sense. If you are wrong then you started serious problems and accusations. You say they have been hating each other for years so maybe they could have made an agreement years ago to stay together for now yet not be together.

I'm married, and one time I attended a seminar for men, and one of the things I learned, is when a man and woman was married, each of them have a responsibility to one another... and the bible clearly stated this, I am not trying to convert you but see for yourself there's a chapter which discusses about husband and wife responsibility... let me know if your interested and ill find out the chapter... and you'll understand why you mom is cheating on your dad...

Honey, I can see how worried you are. If your parents still live in the same house together it must be constant fights! And that can't be easy... She may have a big network of "cyber friends" and they may call her from time to time too, for all you know. I can see how easy it is to assume that she's having an affair. Maybe she's not, though! If she is... then that sucks. You don't want to share that with your father do you? That might make fights at home worse. Would it be such a good idea to get involved in your parents business? Tell her straight out, "Mom if you're having an affair on dad I'm scared because ___/___/____" She needs to hear what you're scared about. You may be right, maybe she is lying to you, but did you ever think it's because she doesn't want to worry you? (Can I just say that it's not easy to be an adult in a lousy marriage... middle aged and seeing your age get closer and closer to 50... Maybe she NEEDS a distraction. I hope saying that didn't upset you). Be honest about how you feel to her... tell her your worries and fears. Don't accuse her and be all nosy. It's just going to make her lie to you... to "protect you" from the truth... (if that makes any sense... ). Xo

If your mom is having an affair there really is nothing you can do to stop it... But it seems like this confusion and secrecy is putting a wedge in your relationship with her.

There could be a number of reasons she's doing the things that are making you suspicious but I think that you may be right, children often know much more than their parents give them credit for.

Personally, I don't believe people "lie to protect you" I think they lie to protect themselves from what they think you may do/say if you find out their truths.

So basically, If you feel like this secrecy is pushing you and your mom away... Talk to her about it.

You don't have to accuse her saying: "I think you are cheating on my dad!"

But you can go to her in love and honesty and say: "Mom, I can see that you and dad arent happy together and I can also see that you are spending a lot of time on your phone and internet and telling me things that do not seem very true. I hope that you will be honest with me because I will not judge you and I will always love you but this is pulling us apart because it is hard for me to trust you through the secrecy"

Just try to let her know your worries and how you will continue to love her the same no matter what but you don't want to be lied to (b/c it will hurt your relationship).

I really hope this helps and if you do decide to have this conversation I hope it goes well. What your mom should realize is that sometime very soon you will be dating (if you aren't already) and she will need you to be honest with her and keep the lines of communication open so the last thing she should do is set an example of being a dishonest woman. Im sure she doesn't intend to cause this confusion for you but she needs to know that her methods for dealing with her unhappy marriae are not creating the best outcome.

I think my mom is too she is always on her phone. I'm trying to play guitar but she's just staring at her phone and not listening.im scared but not showing it. When ever I try to get her attention but it takes me a while too. Im only a 12 yearold boy that is scared. Please help I love my dad and my mom and they have been married for 17 years. :(