I have a teenage daughter (who is black) that wants to date a teenage boy (who is Korean). I am having a great deal of trouble with this concept, I don't care about my daughter dating outside her race but, Koreans are such intolerant people I feel he will hurt her emotionally. They are both very good students and they both attend church. I would like to tell my child to look for another type of boy to date. The current problem is that they were out shopping at the local mall and he saw a member of his church and hide from the church member pretending he was not with my daughrter. My daughter has asked him for an explanation for his strange behavior and all he said is that he cannot talk about it. The emotions and self-esteem of a young black girl living in American is a very fragile thing and I cannot have this guy destroy it with his racial short slightness, ignorance, and confusion. How do I tell my daughter to leave him alone and all Koreans and find another boyfriend

Unfortunately, telling your daughter to leave him (and all Koreans) alone is the last thing you should do. You see, being a teenager, regardless of ethnicity, means doing exactly the opposite of what your parents tell you. This situation is sadly out of your hands and you have to wait until your daughter realizes for herself the situation that she is in. What you could do in the meantime, is pray with her and encourage her to be her own person who is not ashamed of who or what she is Continue to teach her the highs and lows of being a woman, to focus on her ambitions, reaching for the stars and the whole nine. By this point even if the guy does play up, she'll be so focused on being herself that she'll just dust it off and continue with her life.

Teaching a child hate, or intolerance is child abuse. If she is old enough to date, then tell her the truth. If she cannot be loved and respected in public then she should talk to this guy about respecting her and not being ashamed. No way should she indulge in keeping what they are doing secret. That means you mom, must change your thinking also because she will smell the intolerance on you with every word you say against her friend. Much better to teach her that all men must respect her not just the ones you are comfortable with. Wouldn't be a bad idea to get to know him and talk to him of his behavior, so he will understand hiding this relationship, is disrespectful. Is the father in the picture?

Neither child has a father in their life. I am not teaching my child intolerance or to hate people base on their race. The only people who understand what I am talking about is of course another Black person.

What a load of cr@p! I can't even be bothered to put anything else. Pathetic...

What do you mean Koreans are intolerant people? Do you know all of them? How could you make such an accusation of an entire race? It wouldn't be right if someone made such a statement about you or your race. I think your daughter cares about someone who seems to have the same interests as her. She doesn't see his color or background, she sees who he really is. If they both go to church and spend time doing positive things, who cares what other people think? This is something for her to work through and decide where its going. If you try and deter her from being with him, you make it seem so taboo, that makes it that much more enticing for someone so young. Trust her instincts, and what you have instilled in her in terms of morals and values. She is growing up and becoming her own person. Try and respect that! The most important thing you can teach her is to be compassionate and loving of all people, isn't that what Jesus wanted to us to learn? What is the point of going to church if you leave thinking in such negative, prejudiced thinking that alienates people from each other. Just think about it, and ask God to help you accept everyone and see all of us as connected in spirit.

You totαlly just sold yourself out lαdy you sαy your not rαcist yet you hαve some sort of prejudice with Koreαns αnd wαnt to tell your dαughter to leαve αll Koreαns.. (thαts like sαying αll blαcks guys αre cheαters, αnd spαnish men αre women beαters.. etc)

αnother thing: if she's just α teen most likely this relαtionship won't lαst, it's not like she's hαving α bαby with him or getting mαrried.. teen relαtionships come αnd go especiαlly if he's αcting shαdy she'll eventuαlly get α clue on her own (you telling her won't mαke α difference if αnything she'll hold on to him tighter-thαt is the truth! i did thαt to my mother, my friends did it to thiers---αll girls who's pαrents don't αpprove of thier boyfriends usuαlly hold on to thier guys longer)

Spoken like a true teenager!! Out of the mouths of babes, we get the honest to goodness truth. It isn't easy being a mom, but just remember you were that young once too. Did you agree with everything your mom told you? Did you do everything you were told? Did your emotions for another guy have anything to do with your parents, I know they didn't for me.

How would you feel if your daughter was dating a white boy, but the boy's mom did not like the partnership because "all black girls are easy." Now we all know that statement is not true, it is a gross generalization. Isn't that what you are doing, generalizing this boy because of his race? Why not get to know him, he could surprise you and not be any of the things that you think he is.

That's so untrue as good people come in all colors, and all mothers and fathers can only do the best they can, so if your daughter can look beyond the physical so can you. Its your job to be honest and truthful and give love, not hate, the world will teach them that.
It is so very important that you teach your daughter to respect herself and see through to what people are, not how they look, easier said than done, but so essential since there is no male figure to give her self esteem through a fathers' love. I understand that makes it more difficult, but you have to teach your children better than what you've learned, especially about the opposite sex.

Blanket Response to all the reply to my question regarding interracial dating (teens).

First! THE PERSON WHO SUGGESTED "ALL BLACKS GIRLS ARE EASY" This is not a moral issues. I do not have the time to explain race relationship to WHITE PEOPLE. The problem surronding black and stereotypes come directly for WHITES how can you began to speak to me. My questions go directly to people of color not people with issues.

Second! I am so sorry to find out this is not a website for help. It a site for escape.

Third! Do not post any comments to me I am not interest!

Fourth! Never said I was not racist. We all are racist at some point, talking about it freely and openly will open the door to greater understanding. Some wrote "Do I know all Koreans" I find that question stupid at best! The statement that Koreans are intolerant people came for a Korean man of advance years, who has spent half his life living in Korea and the other half living in United States. I think he knows a lot more than you!

I wonder... Not all Koreans are intolerable. Have you met the guy? Ask your daughter what she thinks of him but really you can't stop them dating because if you give them a rule they are just going to want to break it. That's my advice just spend some time with him and your daughter. And that was just 1 Korean man... A lot of things could have happened to him that could affect his personality and outlook on people and life.

Out of curiosity... what do you think YOUR daughter would do if she saw a few black members of her church while she was at the mall with this Korean boy?

OK I didn't have much to add to this one until I got to this... "Second! I am so sorry to find out this is not a website for help. It a site for escape.

Third! Do not post any comments to me I am not interest!

Fourth! Never said I was not racist. We all are racist at some point, talking about it freely and openly will open the door to greater understanding. Some wrote "Do I know all Koreans" I find that question stupid at best! The statement that Koreans are intolerant people came for a Korean man of advance years, who has spent half his life living in Korea and the other half living in United States. I think he knows alot more than you!"...

This isn't a website for help? My have I been duped then as since may I thought it was a great place to get help, secondly, you came here for help, then attacked people who responded just because it might not have been something you wanted to hear.
Thirdly.. you say you are not interested in the replies... great stuff, I can sleep tonight knowing there's one more selfish person in this world who doesn't realize when people are TRYING to help you,then getting attacked and told you don't want to hear anymore...

I am sure if your daughter is old enough (in your eyes) to have a boyfriend I am sure she is old enough to make her own decision on who she goes out with, the more you tell her no, the more she will see him, that's life.

*true story**** I always wanted to go to ireland when I was growing up, but was always told by my family that it was a dangerous place, they are terroists (not my oppinion), everything bad that you hear about the irish I got thrown at me... you know, I went there and experienced it for myself, fell in love with the place, the people, I found them to be very decent, hard working, moral, friendly people I have ever met, so much so I now live there and have never once felt unwelcome... so much for what other people say...

Do you get my point? Get to know this guy, show your daughter what an adult you are by pushing aside your dislike for where this guy is from and being happy that your daughter has found someone who makes her happy.
Things could be a lot worse, instead of going to church with him she could spend her time taking drugs and having sex... never push a good kid into bad things... which is exactly what you will do if you push her away over this.

And, I don't want to get involved with the whole race thing, but I wanted to add, I'm not a racist person, everybody is human, we were all born the same and we will all die, that's the bottom line.. so a person has a different colour skin to me, big deal, I have more important things to worry about than the colour/race/religion of a person.

I also have to add... nothing to do with your problem at all but hey it might make you think...

My partner is irish, I'm english, my family hate him because of where he is from, they cannot stand him, he has never done anything to them, has always been respectful, all he has ever got in return is abuse, calls at 4am calling him an "irish b*****d", the list goes on.
Let me tell you one thing, even though before you said you didn't care about the replies.. one night he broke down and cried in front of me because of everything they were saying about him, he didn't understand why, he didn't know what he had done to them, and it was one of the hardest things I have had to do when I had to tell him to his face its because of where he is from.

Just remember one thing... that korean you dislike so much has feelings too.

I wish your daughter luck.

Teaching a child hatred is child abuse, no matter what color you are.

If you were really a good mom, with the best interest of your child, you'd make a better effort to find out who this fellow is, and what he is about. What your talking about will drive a wedge between you. Your choice, your child or your own hatred.

Annie_123 You are a racist! HOW DARE YOU SAY: SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE WHITE PERSON, you make me sick. You might just be the type of person if living here which would fuel British national party support! - a bunch of low life, racists!

Here in england I have many multi race friends. Iranians, lebonese, KOREAN, Chinese, nigerian. It really doesn't bother me where there from. I don't know what life is like in the U.S. but it certainly isn't like your portraying here. You have limited views and a poor understanding of the world.

'koreans are intolerant' - what a load of twaddle, were all bought up differently, we all have different backgrounds and so we all have different parents. But we are all individuals. Let your daughter live her own life and learn from her own mistakes.

We all live on the same planet, so what's the problem? Were all human, we all have our flaws and good parts. Does it really matter what hair color, skin color or from what background your from. By the way my Korean friend is a great guy ;P

Yes I did annie, hence the answer I gave you.I won't say anymore about it as its obvious you are just on a racist trip trying to get everyone arguing. By the way you are doing a really great job of not being interested in the replies you get! I hope your daughter is old enough to make up her own mind and carry on seeing her boyfriend.
Just curious, if this boy gets her pregnant, will you make her get the baby aborted as it will have korean blood?
Before you carry on disagreeing with everybody take a look at your original post, then ask yourself why you are attacking everyone who answers your post, I don't get it, did you think that you could come here with racist comments and nobody would care? dry your eyes, stop throwing the toys out of the pram because you are too immature to put a persons creed before the actual person.
I wish your daughter all the luck in the world, she's going to need it.

Sounds as if they have more sense than you do, and you should leave them alone. What church do you go to that allows you to preach such hate?? How can you be so angry will such a well adjusted child?

Amazing how she doesn't seem to care. Thank the Lord that a child like yours can rise above from such a hateful mother.

[sarcasm on]

All white people are members of the KKK
All black people are criminals
All Koreans are intolerant
All Muslims are terrorists
All Irish are drunks
All Americans are fat
All Mexicans are lazy
All Brits have bad teeth
All French are elitist
All Germans are Nazis

You should keep your daughter far, far away from this boy and anyone who is not black. Tell her how horrible they and everyone who is not black is and repeat it until she gets it.

[sarcasm off]

There. Now you've read what you want to hear.