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    ashafer's Avatar
    ashafer Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 4, 2011, 08:43 PM
    I need some help with feeling better about my relationship...
    Me and this girl have been dating for 3 months now. We are both in 10th grade and met at a summer camp. We live an hour away from each other so we don't get to see each other as often as we would like. It varies from every week to 3 weeks. There are a couple things that make me uneasy about the whole thing. For one thing she is very bad at communicating, she doesn't text well and her calling has very limited minutes. She also makes things difficult for me by not reciprocating when I tell her nice things or showing much affection back, she does but it isn't very clear. So it seems almost like a one sided relationship sometimes. Things are great when we are together, but times in between can be very tough. I like her so much but she just makes things so hard sometimes. I also find myself being very frustrated and upset that she has been with kind of a lot of other guys and has gone further than I have. I don't know why I want to be in a relationship with her sometimes... I just like her so much and just want to feel happy with our relationship. Please help me if you have any advice as to how I can stay in a happy relationship with her. I really would appreciate it... Thank you so much for your help.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,288, Reputation: 10853
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    #2

    Nov 5, 2011, 09:51 PM
    I have to tell you its pretty hard communicating when you don't know each other very well, and expect them to know what you want from each other.

    Maybe less romantic mushy gushy stuff, and talk about real life, and movies, and activities so you can build a comfort zone, and learn about each other. Then things may improve.
    ashafer's Avatar
    ashafer Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Nov 6, 2011, 12:05 PM
    Thank you, I appreciate the help. But that was almost the entire 1st month and a half of the relationship. We have talked about almost everything. It comes down to whether I want to keep putting in all this effort into a relationship that I do not get a lot back from. Another thing that makes all of this so bad is that there is another girl that lives where I do and goes to my school. We are really good friends and I feel more comfortable around her than my girlfriend. I know that she likes me because she has told me so. When I look at the two of them I almost think I would be happier with the girl who lives by me because things with her are much simpler and not as ridiculous and high maintenance. I honestly do not know what to do. Please help me in anyway you can. Thank you very much.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,288, Reputation: 10853
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    #4

    Nov 6, 2011, 12:16 PM
    You make a choice and be honest about it because if you would rather be with someone else, then you have to tell this girl, and let her go.

    What, you thought feelings, relationships, dating, and females was an easy thing? Sometimes its not. Make a decision on what YOU want, and how to go about it. Me I tell her the truth and give some time for the dust to settle before pursuing another romance with someone else.

    If you are afraid to be honest with your girl friend, then you are not ready for healthy relationships. You should be single, or just date for fun, and friendship.
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #5

    Nov 6, 2011, 12:44 PM
    If it isn't working out with your girlfriend, let her know. Just be honest and tell her that you like being with her, but the distance between you makes it too difficult and that you feel it would be better to move on. It doesn't sound as if she is as into the relationship as much as you are, or maybe she is just comfortable with how things are right now. Have you talked to her about how you are feeling?

    Since you are not happy with how things are going, and you don't think she is feeling the same way about you and the relationship that you do, there is little point in continuing if you don't think things will change.

    As has been said before, part of the dating is getting to know different people and finding out what you like and don't like; what works for you and what doesn't.

    Take a bit of time on your own and give some thought to what you believe would make you happy in a relationship. Then, if you feel this other girl nearby meets many of those qualities, get to know her better and find out.
    ashafer's Avatar
    ashafer Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Nov 10, 2011, 11:07 PM
    Thank you very much for all of the help I appreciate it a lot. And after giving it much painstaking thought I have decided to break up with my girlfriend. She simply isn't meeting what I want out of a relationship. And quite frankly I'm tired of putting all this effort and money into it when I think she takes everything that I do for granted and just doesn't appreciate me. I am going to think about what I want and will hopefully be with this other girl who I feel like is a much better match for me. Thank you very much for all the help. I greatly appreciate it.

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