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xodani · Dec 8, 2008, 05:54 PM

Ok, so my parents have been split for just about 2 years now,over the course of those two years, the divorce was finalized, I have moved out of my house that I had been in for 12 years,and I started going to therapy (I have recently stopped). Now I am in a much better place now but I am still so confused. I am 14 and I know that everyone thinks it is just my age but I am really tired of hearing that. I love both my parents but sometimes I would rather live with my dad but I love my mom and don't want to hurt her and I don't really mind living in both houses, and I hold a lot of anger from other things that have happens to me and although I never get really angry with anyone I am suppresing the anger and it turns into sadness when I am by myself. So as everyone can see I just don't have any clue what to do I will take any and all advice you have to give. Thanks

N0help4u · Dec 8, 2008, 07:11 PM

Did they give you the decision who you want to live with?
If they are leaving it up to you can you live with your mom and have weekend and some holiday visits with your dad?
If they were to go to court over custody that is what the Judge would do. You would have a couple weeks to a month or more with your dad in the summer, every other holiday, fathers day and weekends or every other weekend.
Try to realize you are caught in the middle of an adult problem.
It is hard to really understand the why's and so forth when you are a kid cause you just want to see everything made better. So of course you are going to feel anger, hurt etc...
Try not to be angry though because it is just more negative energy and doesn't accomplish or fix anything. My son had a lot of anger with me because he didn't have a dad from the age of 5.
His anger was so bad that I spent days dealing with his rages.
You need to figure a way to adjust and love your parents and make the best of it. When you are with your mom appreciate your time with her. When you are with your dad appreciate your time with him. My son doesn't have many really good memories of when he was young because of the rages he spent all his time in. If you make the best of making the best out of it you can have some positive times and end up with some good memories.