[Asher]

I'm still seventeen and I started to take interest in another girl, except that she smokes and is somewhat of a party goer. The problem is that I've never been to a party, with alcohol and drugs, before in my high school life, more like entire life. Primarily because I've been really quiet for the past few years and now I'm starting to bring myself more to social situations, except huge parties.

I'm still afraid of alcohol and cigarettes. I just can't bring myself to go to these parties because of the constant amount of people getting wasted and the possible pressure I'll have to deal with in that situation. If they don't agree with me drinking, then they shouldn't be a friend of mine in the first place.. but if I don't have them, then I don't know where to go next.

I do want to get to know her better, but it's just these limitations are hard to counter. I received tips like holding the same beer for the entire night and basically saying no to smoking. All my friends do it, but why do I have to be the only one left behind. I'm not as rebellious towards the law as they are..

[Fr_Chuck]

Good for you, and there is no reason to have to ever go to those type of parties if you don't want to.

[Asher]

Yeah, but what if there's no other way to get to know her better.
I do have her cell phone number and AIM, but I don't want to rely on those too much or else it'll seem weird.

[victoria_mitchell]

Honestly you shouldn't have to go out of your way for someone else or anyone fro that matter. I would tell her how you feel if she doesn't accept that then she's no the one for you if she does then she'll be reasonable and you guys can meet up in better more "comfortable" surroundings

GOOD LUCK!

[rawr_itssonya]

As a partyloving girl I know wher she stands. She just likes to hangout with her friends(who just want to get trashed with the company of companions with the same mission). I mean a lot of guys try to talk to me, but I filter through them very quickly(which, as a party going girl, she probably does also since many guys try to talk to girls)

So what should you do? Set yourself apart from the herd. Make sure there is something different and special about you that she doesn't see in all the other guys she hangs around or all the other people she hangs around. You not smoking/drinking/partying might be the thing she loves most about you. By showing her that you actually care about her and treating her in a way that no other guy would(with respect) it shows her there is another type of [better] guy out there, than a guy who only wants to get wasted 24/7 and use her.

Just ask her out on a date. Go to dinner. Go to a concert. Go to the park. Go fishing. Anything! As long as she can see the clear difference in your attractive sobriety rather than a drunken sexual fool that she could be hanging out with.

Hope this helps<3

[rawr_itssonya]

And if you do want to possibly mingle with her type of crowd, just don't be a prude but tell them your driving or that you have somewhere to be that night so nobody hassles you. People don't care if you don't want to get messed up. Just don't be judgemental or crude about it and let them do what they will but like I said before set yourself apart.

If you do do anything, I suggest bringing a friend that knows you and can take care of you in case you get sick or don't feel well or are upset afterwards. Sometimes it can be really fun, but I've had my share of puke fests and it isn't fun especially if you don't have someone there for you.

Hope this helps