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CharmYou · Jan 25, 2014, 12:18 AM

I find it really hard to get along with my dad. I don't like it when he mocks the English I listen to. We are Chinese so none of us speak English in our daily life, but I like learning to English so I listen to English a lot at home. However, my dad likes mocking the English I listen to! He's a ridiculous geezer! He thinks the English intonation abnormally silly and he basically criticizes me for listening to the kind of "non-standard" English. He definitely enjoys belittling and criticizing me. He advised I should stop listening to the colloquial conversations and start listening to news broadcast. In the conversational English I listen to, the pitch moves up and down, which is unlike the Chinese he is used to speaking and listening to. That's why my dad criticizes it for being non-standard. In actual fact, any normal conversational English intonation would sound non-standard to my dad's Chinese ears. My dad has been flunking English since elementary school. He's definitely a terrible English learner! I don't think he's qualified to make any suggestion since he's NOT able to speak English at all. What constantly gets on my nerves is that he mocks the English I listen to, and makes fun of it! That's totes absurd!

joypulv · Jan 25, 2014, 03:05 AM

First of all, as long as you are living with your parents, who pay for the roof over your head, you have to put up with them unless they are beating you or otherwise doing something serious.
Second, please try to understand that many times people mock what is difficult for them. Don't argue with him, and cut your listening down to times when he isn't around. Does he work during the day? I'll bet you have plenty of times when he won't have to listen.
Why are you still living at home? Or what level of school are you in now?

CharmYou · Jan 25, 2014, 03:15 AM

Why are you still living at home? Or what level of school are you in now?

I am at a university. I'm home to celebrate the Spring Festival, which is a tradition in China. Before I am home, I know it'll be tough to live with my parents so I promised that I would try to enjoy the time with them. But my dad constantly belittles me and criticizes me, how could I enjoy the time with him?

Fr_Chuck · Jan 25, 2014, 03:35 AM

You honor your father and mother with respect. You do not sound like any Chinese University student I know. They would never disrespect their father, in their fathers home. While there, you do not listen to any English unless it is recordings from your school. ( English listening)

I am not sure what English you are listening to. And not all accents in America need to be copied. In fact I even disagree with the pure imitation of English or British tones. You are Chinese and honestly should have a slight Chinese accent to your English. As for as "passing" English" what English courses does your dad take and what tests does he take, at his age ? Also almost all English testing in China is much more written than English.

Next, if he told you once not to listen to it. And you keep listening, and you live in China, you are lucky that belittle you is all he does.

joypulv · Jan 25, 2014, 04:31 AM

You have clearly made no attempt to UNDERSTAND your father. You wrote last year that you were born in poverty, yet now you seem to have all the comforts and schooling of the middle class. Young people in China are learning English to keep up with the world, while the older people struggle with it and all that goes with it - new technologies, new customs, and of course no respect from their children!
Apologize to your dad, and tell him that whenever he has a question about anything technical or English that you will be glad to help. And say it with heart.
I feel very sorry for him. I'm 67 years old.
You don't say what he does for a living, or whether he's happy or not in his work. Do you even know if he worries about being at an age where younger workers are taking his type of work away from him? Or if the work is awful? And he keeps doing it to be able to give his family a good life?

Homegirl 50 · Jan 25, 2014, 07:58 AM

Don't listen to it when you are home. I would imagine he may be paying for your school so the least you can do is respect him in his own home.
When my daughter lived at home there was certain music I did not want in the house. I'm sure she listen to it when she was with her friends, but she didn't at home. To this day, if I am riding in the car with her there she is mindful of what she is listening to. It's called respect.