[hello_there]

I want to have a boyfriend really bad and I know that the reason I do not have one right now is because I give "It" up WAAAY too early. "It" meaning some type of sex, whether Its oral or vaginal or whatever. I know that once a guy sees that a girl is so willing to jump right at the first chance of having sex with me without even really getting to know them, that the guy will see the girl as a slut and not necessarily girlfriend material.

I don't think that I give It up so early because I have low self-esteem, but I think It’s because I just can't wait myself. I think about sex A LOT and I really like to have sex and If I'm with a really sexy dude, and he wants to have sex with me... shoot! Imma have sex with him. YOLO. I know that’s a bad thing to say, but I can't help it, sometimes I feel as though my mind functions like how a guy's mind does, just always wanting sex, no matter what the situation is... except one thIng, I do seem to end up catchIng feelIngs for the guy pretty hard, but he's already moved on from me cause he basIcally got what he wanted and now I'm useless to hIm.

I want to know how I can just get In a committed relationship and control my urges long enough to build a strong trusting relationship with that guy and then have sex, and how long should I wait?

[talaniman]

You are 16, and have many issues that needs to be solved, so to have a healthy relationship, don't give it up at all. Then the horndogs will leave you alone, and you can meet a better class of guys who are not just users. Plus you can get your lust under control, and enjoy you youth while you have it.

Life and love are more than just sex, or having a guy to use for steady, repeated sex. You want a relationship? A good one, then you have to put building one first, by taking sex out of the equation all together. Then you will know a guys mind, and he will know yours. Stop thinking like a guy who doesn't care about anything but getting laid, by who ever is available, and think like a girl who wants real love, and romance.

Learn respect for yourself, and others will respect you for more than just a body, and make love to your mind. Then the waiting will be worth it for a good guy, and not a reward for some horndog. Or you will always be in the use, and be used crowd. And you will never know what a healthy relationship is if you keep reducing yourself to the female version of the dogs you deal with now.