[jcharliek]

Ah, here I go. This isn't any really unusual situation, but any advice would really be helpful. What's happened is I've spilt up with my GF (let's face it, what else?) and I'm just very confused. O.K. so we're fourteen, but I really would say this has been a meaningful relationship - we've known each other for just about a year, been going out for roughly six months and always been closer than most. I won't deny it, we're shy together, but in my very humble opinion, it has been a true relationship. Someone had even passed a comment on to me saying how she wanted to tell me that she really did love me, in private, just a few days before.

The last few weeks before I suppose we'd been really busy, and on the occasions we should have seen each other, we didn't. Big woop. A few weeks before this, I'd like to point out, she cried because someone made a joke about us splitting up and things were more or less going strong and we were still close. But then also that weekend, I hadn't fully realised, but she'd made plans for us to do something - something we hadn't had chance to in a while. So, on Monday, after school she just asked me for a word and told me there and then that she wanted to be friends for now, she needed time to think and that things were going bad at home. Not many other reasons, I was too shocked to even think of asking.

And we've up. But the thing is, she's shy (in my eyes) and I'm more or less one hundred percent sure that the reason we spilt was not seeing each other enough, and that she just made it all up. But then, on frickin' Facebook of all places (she lives about an hour away, so we've always talked over there a lot, I'm ashamed to say - I dislike texting) she sent me a message (wow, how mature this all sounds) saying she wasn't going to ignore me, she didn't regret anything, she didn't think she was ready, wanted time to think, it wasn't my fault and it was all complicated, etc. etc. etc.. Then her older sister entered the fray to give me a bit of backhand advice on how she still cared, was upset and though she might have made the wrong decision. To be blunt, what the **** does that all mean, and how should I react?

At school we've more or less ignored each other, but I did catch her looking at me a few times. Highlight of my day, lol. And (another mature tipbit to nibble on) but she seems to have more or less died on Facebook. She definitely there, but doesn't do one thing (other than wish other people happy birthday) and she's even taken to erasing sometimes what she's done. Sulking, or what? :/

Right; question time. Thanks for reading through this, but what's the situation? Over, salvageable or some kind of break? Some advice for coping/attempting to get her back (I ain't over her yet) would be much appreciated. Or just speak your thoughts please :)

[Homegirl 50]

At fourteen a girl's mind can change several times at any given time. Maybe she does not want an boy friend, maybe there are problems at home, the best you can do is respect her wishes and get on with your life.
Don't worry about the why, get on with your life.

[ironhide262]

Wow, you guys are young! Sucks man, I feel for you. First relationships are the hardest. You have to understand that the both of you are going to be going through tons of change in the coming years.

Basically you have to understand that she is just not into it anymore.. something has changed for her, she may not even know what that is. The worst thing you can do is get caught up in all kinds of drama i.e. Facebook, what her sister says. Sounds like she was being honest and upfront with you though... it took some guts for her to do that.

You have to do your own thing for a while guy... accept that it's over. Move on and do your own thing, trying to get her back will only drive you crazy... trust me! I know you feel like garbage right now but, faster you move on the faster you will heal.

[BBKittyKat]

Sounds like a lot of confusion going on there! First of all, u two have to stop playing games. U hearsay about her caring about u and regretting, but what do u hear from her? Nothing. If she wanted u enough, she would let u know. I think she isn't very clear on what she wants at the moment. Even though u may hear that she cares about u and regrets, it is normal. It is the normal thing for any human being to feel after a break up. It doesn't mean anything though.

On the other hand, u can write her a note, or send her a Facebook message (since u know she's there), let her know that u miss hanging out, and if she feels the same, you will welcome her company. Treat it as a friends thing. Don't jump right back in. At this stage of your relationship, and at this age, u need to give yourselves more time to see what u really want. I never believed adults when they said we are too young to love, to know what we really want. But now I see it. Trust me. Whatever it is, take it slow. :)

[talaniman]

At 14, you just accept that her feelings have changed, and move on. There is nothing to hold on to, and you may as well learn to keep your dignity, and self respect by bowing out gracefully.