[Mel_126]

I may sound harsh.. but what I really feel right now is-> fed up with my life
Everything I do seems to go wrong
To begin with:
The most thing that bothers me is that from all the boys I know, not even one, only one, cares about me or even try to get to know me! Nobody.

OK you may say, "you will have time for boys.. focus on school" yeah I am focusing on school, but why am I not like other girls who ARE focusing on school (more than me I have to admit) but also have more than they want boys after them?
I am sounding really immature I guess.. but it really bothers me, mostly when all my friends are out with their dates and I am all left alone at home :(
I try to say to myself to accept things the way they are, but I really can't
I don't know what to do, I feel miserable all the time
Any help?

[jaime90]

Yes! First of all, you must realize that this is nothing to be upset about. Only about 4% of high school relationships end in marriage.

When you see all these girls falling over the guys, just remember that more than likely, they will end up in heartbreak...

I urge you to be patient. If you are so desperate to get a guy, there's a good chance that you will fall for the first guy that pays you attention, and end up like those girls... heartbroken.

Why don't you save your emotions for "the one." Think about it: if you give pieces of your heart away to a bunch of guys now, there will only be a small part left for your husband... if not a torn up ruined heart.

Not only that, but the heartbreak never goes away. And neither do the ex's...

You do not NEED a boyfriend right now. If you want to socialize with guys, you need to put forth a very good effort to do so. Hook up with some girls who have guys as friends and join the group. Go to parties and gatherings. Initiate conversation with a guy.

Just so you know, I'm only 19, I'm sure I'm not much older than you.

[neverme]

I didn't have a real boyfriend until I was 18.

But you know what I did do? Enjoyed myself by hanging out with my friends, doing activities I enjoyed... generally being a teenager..

If you don't change the way you feel about yourself, no one else will be able to see the pretty, confident, fun-loving girl that is somewhere inside of you.

So my advice: Start loving yourself, because before you manage that you are never going to find peace and happiness. I guarantee you that when you stop searching for someone to love you and start having a good time, by yourself and with friends etc. you will find someone that really likes you for you... and you won't be on here going

'I really love my bf but I'm sure he's going to leave me because I think I'm ugly'

[Mel_126]

there's a good chance that you will fall for the first guy that pays you attention, and end up like those girls...heartbroken.

.. yes it already happened.. but I don't think that I was desperate. It was just that I fell for the first kind of attention I found (which I lacked a lot).

I fall for every guy who gives some attention (as I rarely find a bit of attention) but I guess that this happens because I don't have from where to choose.. like, when I can get some attention I get it immediately, I don't know if I am being clear enough. Its just that, this happened last year: after months desperate, I got over it and said to myself that I am young - I will have time for boys, for now just live my life to the full as a teenager . But then after 4 months a boy came and he really liked me and I fell for him, I became obsessed with him, I cared too much.. till I finally got hurt
And all this happened because I lacked so much attention, and all that attention I got, I cherished it till its last moment

I see how my friends handle a heartbreak.. far different from me, as they have someone else who can take their mind away from their ex; they find new attention from someone else.. unlike me

But anyway I guess I have to do what you both said
Thanks for helping :)

[neverme]

No this didn't happen because you lacked attention, it happened because you lacked self belief and confidence.

Try working on this first, then the boy, the one that's right for you and mad about you will come! :)

[Mel_126]

I guess you're right
I really lack self confidence and I need to believe in myself.. I am noticing it in many things I am trying to achieve/doing (like studying, dieting etc.), guess this "boy-thing" adds up to the list.

I appreciate a lot your advice :)

[talaniman]

You can't build a happy life for yourself around getting attention from the guys. You just can't. To be happy with yourself and who you are, you have to do things that make you happy, by accomplishing things and doing things. Not jumping from boy to boy, and thinking that makes you happy. Hey the girls you see around you may be smiling, laughing, and doing, but you can't imagine what they are like when you don't see them, alone at home crying about their love life.

I suspect you must not have good friends to interact with, as you spend a lot of time wondering, instead of doing, and its more fun to have a few good friends to enjoy, than wishing for guy attention, and jumping back and forth between them.

Good luck with your studies, excel at it, and don't worry about the guys, they will come when your very happy with yourself, and your life.