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    peopleperson's Avatar
    peopleperson Posts: 13, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 12, 2009, 11:10 PM
    What's the right thing to do?
    Two posts merged and edited.

    Earlier this year I got asked out by a guy. I loved him and he dumped me about 2 months ago. We are going out again and we have started to kiss for the first time. We tried to keep it a secret but somehow the whole school found out. Now he is going out with one of my friends! I can't stand to be around them when they hug or kiss! :(:confused::(:confused:Rumors are going around and I said some things that I wish I hadn't said. I don't want to get hurt again but I don't want to hurt him either. What do I do? :confused:
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #2

    Aug 13, 2009, 05:36 AM

    Why were you keeping it a secret?

    What do you mean by
    I don't want to get hurt again but I don't want to hurt him either.
    peopleperson's Avatar
    peopleperson Posts: 13, Reputation: 3
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    #3

    Aug 14, 2009, 02:00 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    Why were you keeping it a secret?

    what do you mean by
    I dont want to get hurt again but i dont wanna hurt him either.
    He dumped me before and I was heartbroken and I am scared it will happen again. But I don't want to hurt him like he hurt me. We were keeping it a secret cause I always get teased about it.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #4

    Aug 14, 2009, 03:06 AM
    You probably have very good reason to be cautious, if he's treated you poorly in the past.

    What you can't avoid is the future, and you have no way of knowing, other than his actions now, whether you can trust him.

    As to the words you said that you'd rather take back, we have all been there! Luckily people have very short memories, and even shorter attention spans, so whatever it was you said will be soon forgotten anyway.

    You cannot stop the rumour mill either unfortunately. There isn't much you can do to stop it, other than to ignore it. If they don't get a rise out of you, they'll probably stop and move onto the next person.

    I know what you hear will likely be upsetting, but the sooner you learn to ignore it, and focus on other things you do have control over, the happier you will be.
    minaeve25's Avatar
    minaeve25 Posts: 39, Reputation: 8
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    #5

    Aug 14, 2009, 04:46 AM
    First of all, don't hang around them! This is obviously not your friend or she/he wouldn't be dating the person your in love with. The easiest way to get over someone is to try and meet someone new.
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #6

    Aug 14, 2009, 05:47 AM

    The easiest way to get over someone is not meeting someone new. That is one of the biggest mistakes people make... do you think it fair to be in love with someone while dating someone else? NO!

    Quit hanging out with them and give yourself some time to get over this. You get over a break up with patience, determination and will power.
    MissRissa's Avatar
    MissRissa Posts: 68, Reputation: 15
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Aug 14, 2009, 10:58 PM

    I agree with all the other posts, stop hanging around them. You need to start focusing on how to live your life without your ex and move on. It takes a lot of time to get over a heartbreak but the pain always seems to go away eventually.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #8

    Aug 15, 2009, 08:18 AM

    After merging your two posts together, its obvious your going behind this girls back, and cheating on her, with your ex. That's pretty dishonest of you both. Stop!!! He dumped you remember, don't let him use you too.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #9

    Aug 15, 2009, 08:31 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by peopleperson View Post
    He dumped me before and i was heartbroken and i am scared it will happen again. But i dont want to hurt him like he hurt me. We were keeping it a secret cause i always get teased about it.
    If he is not willing to let people know then he has something to hide. Which he does.
    Your being scared of hurting a guy is not something you should be worrying about.
    Be yourself if anybody doesn't like it they can take a hike.

    You really need to quit letting yourself be used.
    You are concerned about his feelings but if you think about it
    HE COULDN'T care less about yours.
    HelpinHere's Avatar
    HelpinHere Posts: 1,062, Reputation: 144
    Ultra Member
     
    #10

    Aug 15, 2009, 11:55 AM

    Can't say anything except listen to everyone else who got here before me.

    He hurt you already, he'll do it again.
    Him cheating on your friend with you is only going to hurt BOTH of you girls. He will win, and you will lose.

    Get away from him, get your friend away from him, and straighten yourself out. If you are considering cheating just because you can't get over him, then you shouldn't even have a boyfriend yet.

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