[Sphira]

OK I am totally crushing on this guy at work and he's so nice and when ever I go into the cool room to get something he is always there helping me out getting one heavy box or the other but 1 he has a girlfriend whom I'm yet to meet and 2 he's 19 and I'm only 14 I know he's way to old for me like I know he's not old but older than should be alowd for me and its not like I'm one of those girls who does stupid things like sex or drugs to get attention and in fact I'm quiet the opposite I babysit on a regular basis and always always listen to my parents and siblings advise but I don't know if I should tell them this one I want to know what I should do
Should I
a) try and flirt with him because his was all upset at work on sat cause he and his gal broke up
Or
b) leave him alone and move on concentrating on my job

I really need help as this affects my job and my thoughts cause at the moment he's all I think about
Ps he is crazy about mcgiver and if I did go with him what would people think

[danielnoahsmommy]

Two life lessons

1) never fish in the company pool
2) you are 14... he 19... 5 years at this age is a world of difference. No good could come of this.

[Marvin Valeros]

As what you said before

i really need help as this affects my job and my thoughts cause at the moment he's all i think about

OK, he's already 19 and your just 14 there are other boys that is really available for you

And boys that will get attracted to you

But that doesn't mean that you need to ignore him
Just put in mind that

The both of you are better of as friends

And you also said

if i did go with him what would people think

He has a girlfriend already so just be happy for them

And as far as I know

Their will be this SPECIAL SOMEONE just for YOU
Just wait

But don't expect too much oK?

Hope I helped YOU

[Sphira]

Thanks al lot it did help but I know full well no one gets interested in girls like me but anyway I suppose I mean who looks for love in thee work place and I was happy for them but they kind of broke up

[Marvin Valeros]

Your very WELCOME

Why do you think no one will get interested with you??

And I feel sorry for them

[Sphira]

Lol I don't I'm just the kind of person who gets the attention of 1 person every 6 or so years

[Marvin Valeros]

LOL

Well you got my attention all right
Ahahaha

[Sphira]

Lmao

Not what I meant and you know it but I feeel better now your good at this thanks a bunch my problem is partly solved

[jrsg]

No, leave him alone and move on.

Don't date within your workplace. That doesn't usually end well.

Also, I have a little story... My ex (16 years of age, as is myself) had an ex that was 21.

The 21 year old guy wanted a family, marriage, and a life after he graduates university. The 16 year old girl wanted some fun, and a supportive, maybe high school sweetheart style boyfriend. This difference in needs caused them to break up.

I can assure that the same will happen to you. He will want many different things than you out of the relationship, like sex, etc. You at 14 and him at 19... I'm assuming he has a different mind than you, and different goals.

You two have VERY different lives, goals, and needs. Find someone your own age, it'll work out much better. Good luck

[nikosmom]

I agree with the others, don't date in the workplace. But perhaps he's helping you because he's a nice person. Sounds like he's a gentleman by lifting heavy boxes for you.

Secondly, the age difference is too great in this case; he's an adult and you are a minor.

Thirdly, and I left this for last because in this case this is the last thing you need to worry about, but he's is unavailable. You said he has a girlfriend.

It's a crush and it's normal to get attached to someone like him that's nice to you but don't allow yourself to get too caught up in it.

Focus on your job and maybe you're meet a nice boy your age at school. Are you involved in any clubs/activities at school?

[Fr_Chuck]

You leave him alone but work on you, yourself confidence, For every girl saying this, there are boys saying the same thing,

[Sphira]

Focus on your job and maybe you're meet a nice boy your age at school. Are you involved in any clubs/activities at school?

Yer I am but I don't think any boys that I would like would be part of the drama club but I get it now he's way to old for me I should stick to people my own age but is it normal for young girls to go after older guys or am I just weird

[nikosmom]

No you don't sound weird; it's actually very common to have a crush on someone older than you. It's just that given the age differences, a relationship would not be OK. It's easy to mistaken kindness for romantic interest. You haven't described anything he did that seems like his interest goes beyond that of a courteous co-worker.

[If it makes you feel better knowing this- when I was 16/17 I had a crush on a 23 year old guy I worked with at our local supermarket. Of course nothing ever happened between us but he was nice to me and we had a good work relationship so I started crushing on him.] :rolleyes:

Aside from drama club, do you participate in anything else that would have more of a "mixed group" of teens- like a church group, academic club, band, etc? Those type activities seem to draw a more equal ratio of both boys and girls.

I will tell you that perhaps you shouldn't focus so much on getting a boyfriend right now; just continue to find things you like doing and let others be drawn to you.

[Sphira]

:)thanks a lot I think I will boyfriends who needs them at my age thanks my problem is now completely solved

[chance8172009]

I say go for it because you really like him. If he likes you too than you should try it. The one thing I say is not do have any sexual relationships with him because he can go to jail for it but they can't do anything about dating him well that's what I think I'm 13 and my boyfriend is 16 but he is turning 17 this month and I'm turning 14 in February the law can't do anything about mine because he is waiting till I'm ready or for us to get married which is a possibility because we have been dating a while now and we tried to leave each other but we kept on going back to each other so I saw if you really like him go for it and flirt because if your parents truelly love you all they would care about is if you are happy and that should be it. If it was meant to be it would happen I know that for a fact and I know a 19 years old datin a 13 year old and the cops had to talk to them but they said they can't do anything unless the have sexual relationships so if you don't the cops really don't care and I know that from experience so as I said earlier GO FOR IT;)