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Blahh1451 · Mar 23, 2009, 12:31 PM

I have a boyfriend who is 17& I am 15, we've been going out for a little while but I've known him for 3 months already. Me and my boyfriend are great together, we always have a good time and we trust each other a lot. I am super close with my cousin. Me and her are ALWAYS together, We tell each other almost everything. My cousin,too, has a boyfriend She is 14 and he is 16.. Just last Friday we went to the carnival and rode the rides. All four of us had a great time together... After a ride me and my boyfriend went to go sit down and just talk to each other while my cousin and her boyfriend went to go make-out and then as they were leaving I hear my boyfriend scream "USE PROTECTION"... We talked for a while until the Sex-Issue came up and I asked him are you still a virgin?. ( I somehow already knew that he wasn't a virgin, but I still wanted to ask ) He said he was. && I told him Please be honest with me, if you are or aren't it doesn't affect you and me.. So he admitted that he wasn't a virgin and it was all cool with me, as long as he knew that I was not with him to have sex.. I told him that if sex was what he wanted from me than we should break it off right then and there. He said that's not what he wanted, and he really wanted us to last a long time. So then I asked him so you aren't a virgin so I'm guessing neither is my cousin's boyfriend.. right? My boyfriend told me that Both of them weren't virgins, they had had sex with only one girl a while back, according to my boyfriend it was "stupid" && they had been under a lot of pressure by their friends to have sex. After we went home I asked my cousin "hey is ur boyfran a virgin"?? And she said he had told her that he was... I told her what my boyfriend had said about his friend also not being a VIRGIN... She was not very happy to hear that her boyfriend was not a virgin.. So just yesterday she asked him again and said to please be honest with her... He promised that he was a virgin.. I personally think that her boyfriend is lying.. && my cousin thinks that my boyfriend is lying.. But why would my boyfriend make up a lie like that, he has no reason to?. Do you think that my boyfriend is lying, or my cousin's boyfriend is lying to fool my cousin?.

A mouse · Mar 23, 2009, 12:37 PM

First off I should just say, teens should not do any of this sex stuff. Anyway, what reason does he have to lie about your cousins boyfriend and him having sex? He had such a retarded excuse that it seems like your boyfriend is telling the truth. If you don't trust him though you either need to really work on your relationship and communication or call off the whole dating scene with him. As you'll find in the next couple years, trust is absolutely everything.

-Mouse

liz28 · Mar 23, 2009, 12:41 PM

Most likely your boyfriend wasn't lying but then again who knows. However, I don't think it was your place to tell your cousin because now your in the middle of this mess and might make your boyfriend hesitate when it comes down to confiding things to you. You should've kept it to yourself.

Blahh1451 · Mar 23, 2009, 12:46 PM

Yes, you are right it wasn't my place to tell her but I think he should be able to trust her, no matter what my cousin really likes this dude. My boyfriend didn't say " Don't say anything" I'm pretty sure he knew that I would tell my cousin since me and her are like sisters, If he didn't want me to say anything he would've told me something...

liz28 · Mar 23, 2009, 12:50 PM

Originally Posted by A mouse

First off I should just say, teens should not do any of this sex stuff.

Mouse

I concur that teens shouldn't be having sex but I believe instead of telling them not to they should be educate more about it.

However, I am glad that the OP stated that she isn't doing it and made soon her boyfriend was aware of her stance regarding this issue. But he might be telling it is okay for now and somewhere along the line try to change her mind.

The only thing I can say to the OP is not to ever do anything your not ready for or you don't want to do. Sex doesn't equal love and there are ways to show your love for someone besides sex.

Diehardrocks92 · Mar 23, 2009, 05:14 PM

Ok first if all who gives a damn if he's a virgin or not and i think your cousins boyfriend is lying so as not to give your cousin the wrong idea now what i suggest you do just not to fall out with your cousin is say that you dont care one way or another and that your just gonna forget about it and the truth will come out eventually xx:o

Blahh1451 · Mar 23, 2009, 05:39 PM

Originally Posted by Diehardrocks92

Ok first if all who gives a damn if he's a virgin or not and i think your cousins boyfriend is lying so as not to give your cousin the wrong idea now what i suggest you do just not to fall out with your cousin is say that you dont care one way or another and that your just gonna forget about it and the truth will come out eventually xx:o

Isn't communication a big part for a relationship to work?. Its not suppose to build on Lies

jrsg · Mar 23, 2009, 05:50 PM

Yeah, well, I agree with the others...
He probably is lying, and as hard as it may be, I think you should keep it to yourself.

I think we all can appreciate your good intentions of trying to help out your cousin, but as you seem to understand, it isn't your place.

Your heart is in the right place, but I think you should keep your distance.

Blahh1451 · Mar 23, 2009, 05:54 PM

Wait who do you all think is lying.. My boyfriend or hers?

theperfectmatch · May 12, 2009, 11:54 AM

Honstly I thiink her boyfriend is lying NOT yours to get that clear lol... he prob wants her to think that he is not like that so he can make her feel like her boyfriend is a good boy and that that's not what he is after... I think the boy is lying to your cousin guys do that so girls think they are sweet and innocent and then the girl gives in easily cause she feels special

Justwantfair · May 12, 2009, 12:04 PM

So if her boyfriend told his older friend, whom he would know has more experience and yells out that he should 'use protection' who are we to determine that he didn't lie to the older friend to 'improve' his image.

He may still be a virgin who didn't want the older friend to know and make fun of him for it.

Either way, sex isn't a new game to try out. It's a responsibility. Whether he is a virgin, isn't really your concern, that is between the two of them. You handle yourself and a good start would to not be dating a boyfriend two years older then you are. There are a lot of transitions and growing to do between 15 and 17 and you are TOO young to be wanting to have sex and TOO young to be raising a baby, which is a consequence of being sexually active.

Don't rush growing up, you have plenty of time to do that and you don't want to look back and wonder why you were in such a hurry. Enjoy being a teenager.