[survivorboi]

Sometimes I have troubles at school. Troubles like I need help on my homework, but mostly, trouble with my feelings and emotions. I know that counselors are suppose to help you. How to you get started in talking to them? I'm the type of person who doesn't feel comfortable talking about my troubles, as it might make me feel "weak" and "defeated". Thanks :o

[Tanvi Mittal]

Dear survivorboi,
You stated in last second line that you doesn't feel comfortable talking about your troubles but to the irony, dear this is what you're doing here. You're searching for that that perhaps you already have - how freely you keeps your problems here, this reluctance free nature is already possessed by you! Thus just go to your school counselor freely and if you couldn't able to start conversation, just make a faint try, the person in front of you would definitely encourage to express yourself more easily and as you said this is the purpose for which the counselors are meant for!

[mum2five]

Your first visit will be to your family doctor who ill refer you to a counselor.
Careful listening is the largest part of what all counsellors do.

They make sure clients have defined the problem areas in their own terms and help them define what they wish to do next.

Some will then be more active, offering suggestions for further ways of investigating or beginning to resolve the problems; others are less interventive and let the work proceed more at the client's pace.

It doesn't really matter how you present your problem.

You can say whatever you like.

Sometimes there is silence; sometimes you might find yourself saying things you had not expected to say.

The counsellor will help you explore the matter and will keep referring to you to clarify his/her understanding.

The sessions are long enough for you to return to the different areas until you are happy that you have expressed what you are really feeling.

Counsellors don't ever give advice of the "I'd leave university if I was you" variety since the purpose of counselling is to help you make your own decision.

They will never make a moral decision about the course of action you ought to take.

They may sum up what they understand you have been saying so far in order to help you move on and form a plan of action.

They can offer pointers to how others have successfully dealt with common problems and may also make suggestions of the "have you thought of the following" variety.

These suggestions will be drawn from their training in what is helpful and their experience of what has helped others and of course can be rejected if you feel they are unhelpful.

I have seen 5 over the course of my life - so they are not all that bad !