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posaunus · Jul 28, 2014, 07:48 AM

Unfortunately, my girlfriend moved to a different town, only around twenty minutes away, last month.
Im really sad about it.
Ive been through depressions before and times where I just couldn't stop cutting myself and I don't want to get hurt like I have been in the past...
She says she will never leave me, but I know that long distance relationships are very hard to maintain... Even if its not that long of a distance.
Im scared she will fall for other guys or other guys will be touching her or something ):
Im just really scared. We love each other very much and I don't want to lose her... Please help.

Oliver2011 · Jul 28, 2014, 08:06 AM

"Im just really scared." It's 20 minutes. That means to pick her up you have to leave 20 minutes before you used to leave. That means it will take 20 minutes more for you to get home than it used to take. These are not huge challenges. You just need to plan and prepare better and you need to put forth a tiny bit more effort.

Having said all that I will also add your relationship doesn't sound healthy. You do understand that "Im scared she will fall for other guys or other guys will be touching her or something" can happen at anytime and it doesn't matter if she's 20 minutes away or next door. But to put your self worth in the hands of someone else is just a really bad idea.

My partner and I have been together for around 3.5 years I think. Might be a touch longer now. I know if something happened to our relationship I would be sad, but I still have tons of friends and all my activities to help me through that period. You really need to get a handle on this and get your relationship to where it is healthy.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 28, 2014, 08:57 AM

You need some help if your sanity and physical well being is tied up in her. 20 minutes is not that far away, that is hardly long distance.
No one can say they will never leave you, especially when you are young. How old are the both of you?

joypulv · Jul 28, 2014, 09:11 AM

You need help for your depression NOW. If you are a teen as you seem to be from the category, then the sooner the better. It is far, far more treatable when it first starts than after years of miserable relationships and difficulty living. How hard is it for you to see a therapist, in light of where you live and how your parents feel, and maybe the reality of insurance coverage?

smoothy · Jul 28, 2014, 10:16 AM

I agree with the others... the real problem isn't the fact your girlfriend moved... you have other far more significant issues that really need addressed and treated before you worry about a girlfriend. Your life will improve significantly if you do get them dealt with, if she happens to be part of it or not.

posaunus · Jul 28, 2014, 02:23 PM

I have gotten help... Ive been to a psych unit in a hospital twice last fall... And I have a therapist who doesn't help me cause I have trouble talking to people about these things...
And I want to stay with my girlfriend. I love her a lot... ):

ma0641 · Jul 28, 2014, 02:25 PM

Originally Posted by posaunus

I have gotten help... Ive been to a psych unit in a hospital twice last fall... And I have a therapist who doesn't help me cause I have trouble talking to people about these things...
And I want to stay with my girlfriend. I love her a lot... ):

So go see her. 20 minutes is nothing.

posaunus · Jul 28, 2014, 02:28 PM

But Im nearly 17, yet her parents still want us to have parental supervision when around each other... They don't let us kiss or barely touch each other. And I cant drive yet so my parents would have to take me, but I don't know how to tell them that I want to see her...

Homegirl 50 · Jul 28, 2014, 04:07 PM

You tell your parents you'd like to see her and ask if they can give you a ride. How long has she been your girl friend and how old is she?
I don't blame her parents, I don't think you two ought to be alone together either.

posaunus · Jul 28, 2014, 04:56 PM

She's been my girlfriend for 4 months and she's 16.
And why wouldn't you let us be alone? We are not planning on having sex...

Wondergirl · Jul 28, 2014, 04:58 PM

Originally Posted by posaunus

We are not planning on having sex...

It's not something you plan....

smoothy · Jul 28, 2014, 05:13 PM

You tell US that you aren't planning it... we were all 16 before... she might not be planning it... but if you are even a 10% normal guy... its going to be on your mind nearly all the time. A 100% normal guy would be the reason why chastity belts were invented.

posaunus · Jul 28, 2014, 05:36 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

It's not something you plan....

True. But still. I don't think we need supervision...

Originally Posted by smoothy

You tell US that you aren't planning it... we were all 16 before... she might not be planning it... but if you are even a 10% normal guy... its going to be on your mind nearly all the time. A 100% normal guy would be the reason why chastity belts were invented.

All I want to do is go to the park or movies with her... We wouldn't do anything there anyway.

smoothy · Jul 28, 2014, 06:09 PM

That sounds more like a good friend that happens to be a girl... rather than a girlfriend.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 28, 2014, 06:17 PM

Are you dating or just know each other? You Obviously Have some issues and you are freaking out because she has moved 20 minutes away. I would not want my daughter getting too involved.

posaunus · Jul 28, 2014, 06:37 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Are you dating or just know each other? You Obviously Have some issues and you are freaking out because she has moved 20 minutes away. I would not want my daughter getting too involved.

Umm... No we are dating :/ and thanks...

Originally Posted by smoothy

That sounds more like a good friend that happens to be a girl... rather than a girlfriend.

No. We are dating.

smoothy · Jul 28, 2014, 06:45 PM

You are a boy, you are 16, you dating a girl... and the thought of getting her into bed hasn't crossed your mind? Notice I said think about it.....even obsess over it...even if you never got a chance to actually do it.

Sorry, I'm a guy... I don't buy that story. I remember being 16 very, very well even though its been a long time.

Wondergirl · Jul 28, 2014, 06:46 PM

Originally Posted by posaunus

She says she will never leave me, but I know that long distance relationships are very hard to maintain... Even if its not that long of a distance. Im scared she will fall for other guys or other guys will be touching her or something ):

And what about you? You won't fall for another girl?

What does "dating" mean when you can't drive, don't have a car, and parents won't allow you to be unsupervised when you're together?

posaunus · Jul 28, 2014, 06:49 PM

It has crossed my mind. Im just saying, I wouldn't do that this early on.

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And what about you? You won't fall for another girl?

What does "dating" mean when you can't drive, don't have a car, and parents won't allow you to be unsupervised when you're together?

I would never even think of falling for another girl...
And "dating" means that we are boyfriend and girlfriend. And that we love each other a lot in a different way...

Wondergirl · Jul 28, 2014, 06:54 PM

Originally Posted by posaunus

we love each other a lot in a different way...

What does that mean?