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    baxss's Avatar
    baxss Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 5, 2017, 09:08 PM
    Should I invite my crush to Paris with me?
    I'm in high school and have liked this girl for quite a long time now. She doesn't know it, sadly. My parents are taking me to Paris during this winter, and I want to ask her if she wants to go, too. I just don't know how she'll respond to it. I haven't met her parents yet nor vice versa. But I've known her since elementary school, just are not that close. Girls, if a guy at your school asked you to go to Paris with him, would you say yes?
    I told her that my parents will be paying all the expenses. Her hotel room, separate from mine, airfare, and I'll even buy her some clothing and keepsakes when we're there. My relatives live in Paris, so they know where to take us, like to eat. She doesn't have to pay anything.
    Her birthday is during the winter, so if no, should I just get her a birthday present then? Maybe a souvenir?
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #2

    Nov 5, 2017, 09:24 PM
    She barely knows you, her parents don't know you, and you think that she'll just go to Paris with you for a few weeks? Doesn't sound very realistic. Even if she said yes, which would be unlikely, I doubt her parents are going to let her go with a kid she barely knows, and a boy to boot.

    Why not ask her to go to a movie or dinner first? Start small. A first date shouldn't be a trip to another country where you're stuck together all day every day for the entire trip with someone you barely know.
    baxss's Avatar
    baxss Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Nov 5, 2017, 09:54 PM
    We have a class together, and she sometimes partners up with me to do assignments. I know what her personality is like and she knows mines. Also, don't you think it'll be cool--a birthday in Paris? If you don't think so, should I just bring her back a souvenir since her birthday is during the winter as well?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,286, Reputation: 5645
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    #4

    Nov 5, 2017, 10:13 PM
    Arenít you all in school during the winter?

    Bring home a souvenir. Her parents arenít going to allow her to go to another country with a virtual stranger.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,790, Reputation: 2604
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    #5

    Nov 6, 2017, 12:11 AM
    I doubt her parents would let her go to Paris with someone they don't know. I doubt she would want to go. Bring her back a souvenir.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,137, Reputation: 10852
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    #6

    Nov 6, 2017, 05:26 AM
    Exactly how old are you both, and what do YOUR parents think of this idea? Sounds great on paper, but a really lousy idea. Doesn't make up for the fact that you have done NOTHING in REAL life to bring both your feelings for each other into the open.

    Instead of a big lavish event to bring you together, start small with talk, and see if it leads to talking outside of class. Exchanging numbers, hanging out, sharing videos, personal stuff to see if she likes you, like you like her. Doesn't that beat the wishing and hoping to attract and impress someone?

    I don't think you have shared this with your parents, because they would have told you the proper way to go about things with your crush. Come on you're a guy and should show your crush that you actually have a crush on her with the little personal things. You are too young to buy her affections and it would mean nothing to either of you.

    A souvenir is a nice thing to do for her birthday, a surprise out of the blue if you have not been showing her extra attention before you leave, but why wait for that? You crush now show it NOW.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #7

    Nov 6, 2017, 05:28 AM
    I am moving past the creepiness of the posting so that I can comment.

    A really full proof way of ruining your vacation is inviting someone you don't know and possibly won't get along with during the trip. What happens if you find out on day 2 that you two are total opposites and completely incompatible? Won't that be fun? Plus since you don't know her at all, you have no way of knowing if she has plans over the winter. These are the pitfalls when you don't communicate with someone.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #8

    Nov 6, 2017, 05:49 AM
    I find it almost impossible HIS parents even know about this, and unlikely they agreed to it because #1 its expensive, #2, THEY accept responsibility for someone elses kid nobody really knows. #3 International travel with a minor is NOT like a trip to the Mall.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #9

    Nov 6, 2017, 06:03 AM
    Yes I considered that and was going to add that in my house it would have been a sign of disrespect to just assume that I as a parent was just shelling out all the money for this too. But I didn't know the culture so I left it out.
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
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    #10

    Nov 6, 2017, 05:28 PM
    In high school? How about you start by asking her out for a movie and maybe take her out for pie or ice cream after the show... you know, a normal date. Or invite her to one of the school dances and see how that goes. Inviting her on a trip with your family is a recipe for disaster. Way, way, way too much pressure even if you had been steadily dating her and knew her family for years.

    Even adult women would think twice about going on a trip with a guy and his parents, or going on a trip with a guy at all outside of marriage.

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