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    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,792, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #21

    Sep 11, 2007, 12:16 PM
    While pardon my saying so but being in church does not mean much to me when you're talking about teens and hormones. I'm a Christian, but we're talking about teenagers. I still say she is too young to date and I can't imagine a Christian couple allowing their 12/13year old to date.
    But I suppose you will do what you want.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,318, Reputation: 10854
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    #22

    Sep 11, 2007, 05:23 PM
    I think 12/13 is to young for an unchaparoned date. The wife allowed it at 16, and we had to meet him first. Jon please let us know how you feel when your 12/13 year old wants to date an older teen ager. I think that it would be wise to wait until she is older, but a plutonic friendship is okay. You sound great on paper, but sorry the welfare of my daughter, will always come first.
    JonLR92's Avatar
    JonLR92 Posts: 81, Reputation: -2
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    #23

    Sep 11, 2007, 09:00 PM
    I'm feeling where you guys are coming from, I get it, I think she has a boyfriend right now, I'm not sure, I got to ask. But I guess I could wait till next year when she comes up to the high school. It would be easier, but then again a year is a year. I don't know, I got to talk to her though, I mean if she likes me to I'm not going to miss out on the chance. It all depends. Thanks guys.
    sarah1989's Avatar
    sarah1989 Posts: 154, Reputation: 0
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    #24

    Sep 11, 2007, 10:47 PM
    If she likes you and doesn't have a boy friend go for it.
    If you wait and she has these feelings for you as well you could loose her within that year
    Just my advise I know everyone here is going to disagree with me but you get that.
    Good luck :)
    JonLR92's Avatar
    JonLR92 Posts: 81, Reputation: -2
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    #25

    Sep 12, 2007, 12:10 PM
    Yeah I know, I just got to ask her straight up. Thanks though at least someone is helping me out, not saying everyone else is wrong but not very helpful.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,318, Reputation: 10854
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    #26

    Sep 12, 2007, 02:33 PM
    I honestly am not trying to help you at all, but since your so honorable, a church guy and all, I did notice that you haven't talked to her, or ever aproached her parents about dating their 12/13 daughter. I will tell you this though, for your own good, suck it up. And date those your own age. Letting this young female grow on her own, is a great gift to give her out of love. If you really care.
    JonLR92's Avatar
    JonLR92 Posts: 81, Reputation: -2
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    #27

    Sep 12, 2007, 04:07 PM
    Hmm you may be right, and I have talked to her FTR, but I guess ill do what's best for her, whatever that is.
    JonLR92's Avatar
    JonLR92 Posts: 81, Reputation: -2
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    #28

    Nov 7, 2007, 12:42 PM
    (BIG STORY COMING UP)
    Yeahhhh since this I continued to talk to her we became good friends. We chatted on myspace and stuff, talked on the phone for hours and such. She then told me how she felt about me on like the 10th of last month(october) we talked some more until the 24th when I asked her out. She said yes. I was happier then ever. But, while we were going out, people started finding out. People from church. The pastor(my grandpa) then proceeded to talk about young people in relationships, that those relationships aren't from God and all these things. A few days after that, her mom and her came to my house to talk to my parents. She had told her parents about us and so had I. it was fine until that day the pastor talked about it and her mom got worried about her reputation and her daughters at church. People were saying that sabdy(girlfirend) was only at church to look for guys. Which is farther from the truth then anything. So her mom and my parent talked about us while we just listened. Her mom and my parents then said that they want us only to be friends and to wait a few years if we want to go out. We agreed. But, we are still going out. See, we did agree to wait 2 years, me and sabdy did with each other. Just to make sure we don't get in any trouble or anything. But we still do what we did before we were told to stay friends, kiss and hold hands and whatnot. My uncle was pissed at me when he found out we were even going out, he thinks that she's a girl that would just find any boy and go out with him. No one knows her like I do. We have become the talk of the church(not good). I'm not going to leave her, she's not going to leave me, but its hard to just stay friends after all we've done already. We agreed to wait but we aren't exactly waiting. What can I do? How can I tell her no more kissing or holding hands? I don't want to stop but I know its what's right. I should have listened to most of you that said to back off for a while, but now that I know she likes me I don't want to lose her. What should I do?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,792, Reputation: 2604
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    #29

    Nov 7, 2007, 12:52 PM
    You tell her that you want to do right by her, so you think you two need to stop the physical stuff and stick to friends. You were too old for her to begin with.
    JonLR92's Avatar
    JonLR92 Posts: 81, Reputation: -2
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    #30

    Nov 7, 2007, 05:28 PM
    Santoooooooo. Not that easy. I'm not too old for her, I don't think. Do you really think so?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,792, Reputation: 2604
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    #31

    Nov 7, 2007, 05:49 PM
    Yes I do. If I recall she was 12 and you were 15. A 12 year old girl is not old enough to date and you should have left her alone. She is now 13 I assume, and still not old enough to date. Give her a couple of years.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,792, Reputation: 2604
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    #32

    Nov 7, 2007, 05:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JonLR92
    santoooooooo. not that easy. im not too old for her, i dont think. do you really think so?
    Why is it not that easy? You do what is right and stop the physical stuff with her. Stop what you should not have been doing anyway.
    Young people think they are old and mature enough to start mess but then don't want to do the "mature" thing and do what is right. You're a Christian young man, you pray and ask God for the strength to leave this girl alone for a few more years. and ask Him to forgive you for messing with her in the first place.
    depressedhelp's Avatar
    depressedhelp Posts: 91, Reputation: 3
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    #33

    Nov 7, 2007, 09:41 PM
    OK in my opinion I;m only 14 so yea I would try it but a love song may be coming a bit strong (trust me I know lol) and so mayb just a song with hints in it to give her so she mite get it and the 12 yr old, puppy love most likely because she mite know you like her cousin and she just wants your attention, so yea go with your plan, your not to young :)
    JonLR92's Avatar
    JonLR92 Posts: 81, Reputation: -2
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    #34

    Nov 7, 2007, 10:13 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
    Why is it not that easy? You do what is right and stop the physical stuff with her. Stop what you should not have been doing anyway.
    Young people think they are old and mature enough to start mess but then don't want to do the "mature" thing and do what is right. You're a Christian young man, you pray and ask God for the strength to leave this girl alone for a few more years., and ask Him to forgive you for messing with her in the first place.
    I know I should do what's right. Im leaving it up to her what's we should do. She doesn't want to wait years. She said she will, but what were doing isn't exactly waiting. Im just worried that if I tell her no more nothing just friendship for now, then she'll just forget about me after a while. She's young but she knows how to get me stuck on her, like I have her stuck on me. But yeah I'm just worried about her. Ive wanted to hear her say I love you so bad that now going back to friends would be like suicide to me. I am going to pray about this though, I know I'm wrong in this. I should be the older one and tell her we got to stop but I don't want to hurt her or the relationship we have or could have. =( this is wack. After finally having her, I can't have her. Santo. Thank you homegirl. You've been just like my friend who has been telling me the same thing. I just need to hear it from different people to get it through my head.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,792, Reputation: 2604
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    #35

    Nov 8, 2007, 06:15 AM
    You be the older one as you are. Don't leave it up to her. She is a 13 year old child. She probably totally flattered by you. You started this and it's up to you to put it right. If you lose her, that maybe the right thing for now. Then when she is a little older, if you both are feeling the same way you may meet up again.
    Do what is right young man, you can never go wrong.
    I wish you well.

    If my answer was a good one, please rate it. Thank you.
    singhanjali's Avatar
    singhanjali Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #36

    Nov 8, 2007, 07:03 AM
    Hi my name is anjali I am from india actually I don't know what is my problem .I hate from this world.ihate from my parents,even I hate 4om myself.I don't want to live,but still I am only for my parents.I have no interest in anything.actually I have lost my interest in all.I know this information is not sufficient but I have no word to show my feelings . Help me
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,792, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #37

    Nov 8, 2007, 08:20 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by singhanjali
    hi my name is anjali i am from india actually i don't know what is my problem .i hate from this world.ihate from my parents,even i hate 4om myself.i don't want to live,but still i am only for my parents.i have no interest in anything.actually i have lost my interest in all.i know this information is not sufficient but i have no word to show my feelings . help me
    You must ask your question on your own thread.
    fountainblue300's Avatar
    fountainblue300 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #38

    Feb 11, 2008, 04:32 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JonLR92
    ok, there is this girl from church, and we just recently started talkin and stuff, not privatley but with her sister and cousins and stuff. shes the most beautiful girl ive ever seen in my life and i absolutely adore her. ok she doesnt know that part, yet. see weve only been talking for like 2 days now, yeah like , but when we talk she looks right in my eyes and her eyes are so mmmm, i can't even describe it. the other day she heard me singing to myself and she wanted me to sing for her, but i said i would do it another time. so heres is my plan, tuesday, or thursday, or friday, i was gonna grab her and tell her i was gonna sing the song i owed her, but by ourselves. the song i was gonna sing is a love song, like love at first sight and that kind of thing, its in spanish. but i just realized i just barely started talkin with her and i dont want to ruin our friendship. PLUS her cousin who is 12 likes me and its kinda weird that shes so young, but the girl i like is turning 13 in a month. im 15. this is very confusing i know. but the girl i like, you would never guess she is 13, i mean she looks 15 really. ok so what i basically asking is should i wait longer to ask her out? and what should i do about her cousin? i dont want to mess anything up you know.
    I think that if you like her then you should ask her out. There is no age for love. I mean you can be 15 and like a 20 year old.
    JonLR92's Avatar
    JonLR92 Posts: 81, Reputation: -2
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    #39

    Feb 11, 2008, 06:31 PM
    wow I totally forgot about this site. Just got an email from this. Its been so long since this and so much stuff has happened between us. Ok let me just say are current status, relationship wise is, that we are on hold for each other for about another year or so. And we talk basically only on aim and church because my mom called her mom to tell her to never call me again because my mom felt we talked on the phone too much. Yeah. So yeah were in love and were getting married and kids and blah blah blah. Thank you. Bye. =D
    JonLR92's Avatar
    JonLR92 Posts: 81, Reputation: -2
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    #40

    Sep 21, 2008, 06:37 PM

    This is cooolll. Looking back on this is awesome. Haha I was such a noob. Yea so um she's going to be 14 soon, and we have been going out for about 11 months now. And our relationship has matured in many ways. We became very spiritual and now look for God more and ask him to guide our relationship. Me and her are doing really well, and I'm basically sure that this is the best thing for me and her. Were going to be in a wedding and I'm pretty sure she's going to be my girl in it. Everyone knows about us, some people are really happy and some people are surprised. Most of my family don't approve because she's mexican and I'm puerto rican. Which isn't a very good mix, but I don't care. All I know is that we made a few mistakes but we have come back strong from them. This is something that a lot of people probably dream of. We are definitely the perfect couple.

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