Hiii, I'm olivia..

I am about to tell you the most insane story and I need desperate advice.

I won't mention the whole scenario, but I am 18 and I have been going out with my boyfriend since I was 16. It took him 6 months to ask me out cause he thought I was too good for him or something like that, and since then we have been completely in love.

Here's the bazaar thing! He asked me out when he left for a holiday away.. he went away for a month and then when he came back we had a super night together (no sex.. cause I wasn't ready).. my friend came round the next day and since that day, and when she slept over I found myself awake to my friend and no boyfriend (Sam). Instead, he spent the night talking to my mum and ever since then he goes to her for everything. Nice right? NO.

Example; last night he came over and we were celebrating for him because he got a gig at some great place... and instead of coming to bed at like 1 he spent the whole night talking to my mum in the front room while I watched My Best Friend's wedding in the other room. I went to bed, and about 3 hours later he came in and said I love you, sleep tight.

My mum is like- obsessed with sam. When they fight, she goes into such a mood and blames me! Today she called me and goes- I hope it was OK that I spent the night chatting to Sam.. we were just catching up.

My sex life is getting ridiculously bland, but I am stuck between a hard rock and a place because I love him so much.


This is not the whole story but I'm asking for what I should do. Its not as if he never wants to have sex its just he is so preoccupied and it seems that way. Question: should I kind of brush him off the next time he wants to have sex... to make him want it more.. I don't know I really want advice on how to get his attention.. this situation is crazy.

Don't mistake this for some attraction to my mum.. she and him just share music in common because my mum loves music.. I am totally confused please help!

Maybe get more interested in music and the things he finds so interesting talking about with your mom. He sounds like he is the type that wants some intellectual conversation.

So ur saying that other things occupies ur BF, makes him more interesting and it affects ur sex life? Hmmmm.....When was the last time you changed ur hairstyle, color maybe? Do u always look at ur best? Do u use same scent for 3 yrs? Men are visual. How u look will change things dramatically. Also read and get new ideas. What u know maybe got him lil bored. Also dont forget to use protection.

Yeah I understand..

But I do... but he just ends up talking just to her and she takes control...

Its not necessarily just the music part- because I am in full support of it.. its everything in general they talk about.

Sometimes when I stay at him house he'll stay up all night on the computer sorting out music.

Is it because I don't turn him on... or has he lost interest in me?

I mean he acts as if he is totally in love with me and calls me all the time..

I'm so confused..

Are u having sex on ur room and sometimes ur mom is around?

I am sure he loves you 'but has a funny way of showing it' as the saying goes.
It sounds like your mother is more interested in him than she probably even realizes.
It doesn't sound normal for her to get emotional to the point she gets moody and blames you.
Discussing it with either one of them is about pointless because they will deny and get defensive.

see this is where is gets BAZAAR

my mum says she has a phsycic connection to saml with music.. and its pretty obvious that that is what they talk about all the time.. sam doesn't really think of it that way he asks her for advice and stuff..

but when he comes round she always puts the music on full blast and puts on make up.. me and my sister think its really weird.

its like since she met him she's denying her age and stuff, like she's young again..

she always asks if I've heard from him and what he says.. and with t he sex thing.. once sam wanted to do it and mum wa sin bed *sulking- long story- so I was cleaning my teeth and he wanted to have sex so we ended up doing it in the bathroom with the door shut.. and mum afterwards when he went home goes "olivia what were you two doing in the bathroom" and all this stuff.. like she's really nosey about him.

see.. its all really 'unstable'. And I feel like he's not all mine..

I feel like I'm playing games always thinking of ways to turn him on or focus on me. With the visual thing, I probably haven't been making as much effort as I should recently. But he always tells me I'm beautiful anyway.. but I know what you mean..

maybe its me just being jelous? We just never have alone time when he comes down..

once he sent me a message under the table saying 1 love you to me.. and my mum goes "you can just talk guys" and later she asked me what it was all about..

the funny thing is.. people and friends of mine have accused her of it being "wierd" like there was something weird with her always wanting to talk to him and stuff.. and she got SO angry and said that they were the dirty ones for even thinking that and that she just loves to talk to him about music and sutff..

Sounds like she is obsessed and in denial.
Basically all you can do is let it go or it will start WW111

Maybe find her a guy.

what if just ask ur BF to see each other outside home, do anything: chat, flirt, possible sex on his place and just come home when ur already satisfied with the time u had?

how old is ur guy and ur mom? If she's not attracted to your BF she's manipulating, protecting you so u won't get pregnant.

I don't think it is so that she won't get pregnant. Mom has some kind of obsession with him plain and simple.