OK, I am in a steady relationshio with my 18 year old boyfriend. I am 16. And at first my mum was fine with us at first. But then she made us split up because he lives in a council house, and I live in my mums own house. I think you get the jist, she is kind of snobby. But he makes me happy. So I pretended that I split up with him and I told her a coupe of months later, and she went crazy. So I did the same thing and thought I would wait until I'm 18 to tell her. I no she wants the best for me but at the end of the day we love each other and we have been together for a year and 4 months, and I don't no how to tell her. Because if I wait until I'm 18 it will harder I think, and also I don't want to have to go behind her back and lie to her every time I see my boyfriend.

What do I do?


:(

16 and 18 doesn't seem bad to me, but I don't think that is the case with your mom here. Is it the age difference, or where he is at right now? I can see her point if it is where he is at, she is just looking out for you and its good you see that. There is nothing any of us can really tell you, just follow your heart. Does this guy have something to offer you in the long run? Is he getting his life together? You don't want to be with someone at your age that has problems in their lives because their problems will find a way to creep in and become your problems as well. I would say USE CAUTION with this guy, Im not saying he is bad news, but just use your brain and don't just dismiss everything your mother says. The fact is, she probably sees a lot more to this situation than you do. Best of luck to you!

Thanks for that.
He works, he has a job so he has money coming in all the time. I love him and he loves me, I just don't understand why my mum doesn't like him because he doesn't live in a big house, and isn't rich and not amazingly clever. He makes me happy and I do well for myself as I'm in a dance school now and it is not as if he is stopping me from doing well at school - I passed 10 GCSEs all with Bs so he isn't stopping me there. I don't understand why I can't make the decision of who my boyfriends are. My mum says I should go out with someone like "price harry" you know rich, clever and has a good job. But it isn't about money at the end of the day is it? I no she wants the best for me but my boyfriend is experience too as well as a loving relationship, but my mum is pushing us together if you understand. And I don't want to fall more in love with him because of my mum not knowing. If she knew and accepted him, we mite break up in 6 months! (not that id want to obviously) what's your advice? :(

OK, I am in a steady relationshio with my 18 year old boyfriend. I am 16. And at first my mum was fine with us at first. But then she made us split up because he lives in a council house, and I live in my mums own house. I think you get the jist, she is kind of snobby. But he makes me happy. So I pretended that I split up with him and I told her a coupe of months later, and she went crazy. So I did the same thing and thought I would wait until I'm 18 to tell her. I no she wants the best for me but at the end of the day we love each other and we have been together for a year and 4 months, and I don't no how to tell her. Because if I wait until I'm 18 it will harder I think, and also I don't want to have to go behind her back and lie to her every time I see my boyfriend.

He works, he has a job so he has money coming in all the time. I love him and he loves me, I just don't understand why my mum doesn't like him because he doesn't live in a big house, and isn't rich and not amazingly clever. He makes me happy and I do well for myself as I'm in a dance school now and it is not as if he is stopping me from doing well at school - I passed 10 GCSEs all with Bs so he isn't stopping me there. I don't understand why I can't make the decision of who my boyfriends are. My mum says I should go out with someone like "price harry" you know rich, clever and has a good job. But it isn't about money at the end of the day is it? I no she wants the best for me but my boyfriend is experience too as well as a loving relationship, but my mum is pushing us together if you understand. And I don't want to fall more in love with him because of my mum not knowing. If she knew and accepted him, we mite break up in 6 months! (not that id want to obviously) what's your advice? Please help

Sorry, I think there is a bit of a language difference here so I don't think I got your question right. If money is not a concern for you, then stay with him. All in all it is YOUR life, and YOU should determine who you date. Sounds like this guy is doing well for himself, but you do still live under your mothers rules and roof. I would never say hide anything from your parents, you need to have trust between you. Be honest, try and sit down and TALK (not fight) with her. Tell her you know she is just looking out for you, but you love this guy and you want to see where it leads. If she can't respect that then I don't know what to tell you.

You kind of said it yourself…shes snobby.

Funny isn't it, parents always say they are open minded, as long as your mind agrees with theirs.

You tell her again... and she will make you break up... again.

Your only option here is to wait. Yes lying sucks, but unfortunately she has given you no other choice in this case. You already tried once before after the first break up.

One thing you can do is to try to work on her behavior and get her to change gradually over time. But talk in general, never specifics.

Kaz, your mom may be trying to protect you from the emotional state of being in a relationship since your only 16 years old. You shouldn't lie to her, that will only make matter worse. Make sure she knows that you are seeing this guy. You can try to appeal to your mom, let her know how you feel about your boyfriend. There may come a time when she might except him as your boyfriend.

Hi,
Most parents want their children to have better things than they do, and have a better life than they have. At least, that is the "average" consensus.
Your Mom isn't alone in what she wants for you. In the US, most parents want their daughters to go to college, when there is enough money, or loans, etc, and get a good education so they can support themselves. The ideal man to marry is a college educated man, or one who is educated in some other way.
Your Mom is no different; she wants better for you that what she probably has.
Your boyfriend is 18, works, and has money coming in all the time. So, does this boyfriend have any education at all? What does he do? These are things your Mom already knows, and she wants better for you.
Now, what do you do? Since you asked, you will be much, much, better off, at 16 yrs old, telling your Mom how you feel, as I'm sure you already have.
It's up to you if you want to continue seeing this 18 yr old behind your Mom's back. I will not tell you to do that, because it's your decision. If you do, you may lose all your Mom's trust, and believe me, there will come a time when at night, all is not well! And might not be, for another few years with your Mom.
I do wish you the best of luck, and hope you can decide what you really want. By the way, is the money your boyfriend making enough to support a family?? Have a place of your own, if you decide to marry him?

There really is not much to add to what you've received as great advice from the others here. You evidently understand where your mother is coming from, but it seems to stress you out due to not being able to have a happy, open relationship sanctioned by her. Have you two ever talked about her past, what it was like when she was your age? If you feel you can't talk to her alone about these things, how about an aunt, older friend, one of her friends, or even a counselor? I would try to get her to understand that she's driving you towards him more if she keeps up, and maybe she'll back off. But if it will do no good talking to her at all, you at least need to talk to someone and let it out so that the stress won't be so great. Maybe even a letter to her explaining his respect, attributes and caring way he treats you; how you understand her point; how she should understand your point and let you grow up as a normal teen and need her love and trust, but also need a chance to experience life, just as she did - and that she probably made a few mistakes too. I certainly hope all works out well for you either way and also hope you'll not need to lie to your mom much longer. Keep us posted, and Happy New Year!

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showth...t=13585&page=2
Check out the very first post on this thread, print it out and suggest it to your mom for reading. Also see if you can find the book mentioned there - hope they help.