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    amy321's Avatar
    amy321 Posts: 45, Reputation: 4
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    #1

    Aug 5, 2008, 02:18 PM
    Pregnant teenager
    I am a mom to a teenager and I think she is pregnant. How do I know she is? What should I do?
    ChihuahuaMomma's Avatar
    ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,378, Reputation: 608
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    #2

    Aug 5, 2008, 02:21 PM
    Talk to her, not us. Tell her that she can confide in you about anything, and that you are there for her no matter what. But she needs to take responsibility for her actions.

    OR

    To not accuse her, tell her its about time for her annual pap smear. Take her to get her pap, and make sure the doctor lets you know the results.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #3

    Aug 5, 2008, 02:27 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma
    To not accuse her, tell her its about time for her anual pap smear. Take her to get her pap, and make sure the doctor lets you know the results.
    Goodness, this certainly will NOT work. PAP smears are not necessary unless a woman is sexually active. Secondly, the doctor is not allowed to give the results to anyone unless the patient signs a release. This is to protect the patient's privacy, and it does not matter how old the patient is when it comes to visits of a sexual nature.

    Now, to answer your question... You will have to sit down and talk to her about your concerns. Let her know that if she is you will still love her and help her through a healthy pregnancy.
    ChihuahuaMomma's Avatar
    ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,378, Reputation: 608
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    #4

    Aug 5, 2008, 02:31 PM
    It wasn't stated whether she was sexually active, I was assuming that since her mother thinks she is pregnant she KNOWS that she is sexually active.

    And you should tell my mother that, because all of my tests results were divulged to her until I was 18, and I signed nothing.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #5

    Aug 5, 2008, 02:32 PM
    These are newer laws hun. It's called HIPAA. It is the doctor/patient privilege.
    ChihuahuaMomma's Avatar
    ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,378, Reputation: 608
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    #6

    Aug 5, 2008, 02:33 PM
    I know what HIPPA is, I'm in the medical field as well. That doesn't mean that it is always followed.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #7

    Aug 5, 2008, 02:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma
    I know what HIPPA is, I'm in the medical field as well. That doesn't mean that it is always followed.
    Actually, it is HIPAA

    AND, we are not here to argue the fact, just to help the OP.

    So, back to the OP. Why do you suspect she is pregnant? What symptoms is she presenting with?
    ChihuahuaMomma's Avatar
    ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,378, Reputation: 608
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    #8

    Aug 5, 2008, 02:38 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9
    Actually, it is HIPAA

    AND, we are not here to argue the fact, just to help the OP.

    So, back to the OP. Why do you suspect she is pregnant? What symptoms is she presenting with?
    And yes, back to the OP. That's a good start, what are the symptoms that lead you to believe that she may be pregnant? Has she told you that she is sexually active? Does she have a regular boyfriend?
    xHannahxLouisex's Avatar
    xHannahxLouisex Posts: 17, Reputation: 2
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    #9

    Aug 5, 2008, 02:39 PM
    I'm a teenage mother & I found it hard to tell my mum as I worried about what she was going to say. I told her after a few days of finding out once I'd let it sink in & decided on what to say to her. I'm sure your daughter will tell you but it might take her a little while until she feels the time is right to tell you.
    amy321's Avatar
    amy321 Posts: 45, Reputation: 4
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    #10

    Aug 5, 2008, 03:08 PM
    Yes she has a regular boyfriend. They been going out for along time. She has not stay home a lot. She looks bigger to me. She sleeps more. I know she has had sex. I know they have had sex.
    xHannahxLouisex's Avatar
    xHannahxLouisex Posts: 17, Reputation: 2
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    #11

    Aug 5, 2008, 03:16 PM
    I was the same as your daughter. I stayed away from home for a while worried that my mum would notice & go crazy at me. Eventually after a couple of weeks I went home & decided there was no way I could hide it from my mum any longer. I found it very hard to tell my mum. Has your daughter been able to talk to you about absolutely anything in the past? If she has I'm sure she'll tell you in time.
    ChihuahuaMomma's Avatar
    ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,378, Reputation: 608
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    #12

    Aug 5, 2008, 03:26 PM
    And have you tried talking to her?
    KissMe10der's Avatar
    KissMe10der Posts: 306, Reputation: 22
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    #13

    Aug 5, 2008, 03:43 PM
    Just talk to her, tell her your concerns. Don't be mad at her.

    I had a friend who worked at the same place as me.. She told NO ONE that she was pregnant till she was due a week before... then she told her parents. Everyone thought she was pregnant... the way she walked.. and how she was bigger. But no one said anything cause she was a teen. Her parents excepted it.. I mean she was due in a week.

    I just can't imagine holding in that HUGE life changing fact... and telling no one..

    Sit her down, tell her you know she is having sex. And you would like her to go on birth control if she isn't pregnant..
    Tell her you would rather she not hide things from you. That you are an adult and would like to be there for her no matter what.

    I hid things from my mom.. like 2 years ago.. I was raped. And I didn't want her to think it was her fault. I didn't come home at curfew and she told me that I wasent allowed to come home till morning. I said, fine! I would stay in my car. Well, the boy I had just met offered me his house to stay the night at.. well.. he raped me. It wasent her fault.. it was mine for staying out past curfew... After my life was a huge struggle and my mom was at wits ends why I was acting out.. she talked to my aunt who I told what happen. My aunt said she needed to talk to me..

    Mom called me on my way home from cosmetology school.. she was crying.. and scared.. I could hear her voice shaking, "Tell me whats wrong.... whats going on? Why wont you tell me? " Then I told her.. as I cried my eyes out..
    I felt so much better that she knew.. that I could talk to her.

    I guess moral of the story.. Let her know your there for her.. that she can count on you.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #14

    Aug 5, 2008, 03:51 PM
    Have you ever talked to her about sex once you suspected she was doing it?
    amy321's Avatar
    amy321 Posts: 45, Reputation: 4
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    #15

    Aug 5, 2008, 03:53 PM
    Yes I try talking to her about it but she said she was not ready and I think it is time too. I have one kid he is a year younger and I think he know every thing and I have one that is old. Do you think I should talk to all my kids about haven sex? I think they all have been there and done it. I think I need to talk to them before it happens to all of them. I think she thinks I am going to be mad at her but I not. We all are going to love them all no matter what happens.
    KissMe10der's Avatar
    KissMe10der Posts: 306, Reputation: 22
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    #16

    Aug 5, 2008, 03:57 PM
    Yes, its never too early to talk about sex. They actually start sex education in elementary.. round 4th grade for me.

    Just give them correct information. And answer their questions.. It might be a little hard, but sex is apart of every normal adult life... so even if they don't use this information young.. (hopefully) but they will use it later.
    ChihuahuaMomma's Avatar
    ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,378, Reputation: 608
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    #17

    Aug 5, 2008, 04:04 PM
    YES, definitely talk to her about sex. Obviously she is ready for the talk, since she is doing it.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #18

    Aug 5, 2008, 04:05 PM
    Yes, otherwise they get the wrong information from all their friends. I know I was always curious about sex as a teen and heard so much stuff and all my friends was doing it. It got to where I used to make up stories about doing it when I was a virgin. This is a talk all parents need to have with their child.My 10 year old daughter ask what sex was because my neighbor son ask her if she wants to have sex, he's 8. Can you believe that? I was furious. Having this talk might be a little uncomfortable because you don't want to think of your child doing it but it's best for them to know the right information instead of the wrong and all the things that can happen along with it and the truth about it. I know one I used to hear was "if your on top you won't get pregnant", we all know that untrue but as a teen hearing it from my friend, I believe her.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #19

    Aug 5, 2008, 04:11 PM
    I started talking to my children about sex around the age of 4. Yeah, I know it sounds young, but I am 44 and not a grandmother YET. LOL, that'll be in December, but my son is 22 and his wife is 20.

    You should not leave the sex education to the schools, or their peers. You never know the misinformation the will receive. Sex education should be up to the parents.

    How old is your daughter? Sleeping a lot and gaining weight can be symptoms of just being a teenager or even depression or anxiety.
    amy321's Avatar
    amy321 Posts: 45, Reputation: 4
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    #20

    Aug 5, 2008, 04:12 PM
    I know all my kids have had sex. They are almost the same age. The both boys have girl friends and the girl has a boy friend. I have 2 teenager boys and 1 teenager girl. I am going to sit down with her and talk about this. Then I will sit down with all to make it not happen again.

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