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    pikachufannumber1's Avatar
    pikachufannumber1 Posts: 98, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Jul 3, 2008, 10:52 PM
    Is it Possible?
    Is it possible to restart a friendship. Not just any friendship, though. I LOVED my guy friend, and he knew it. He never acknowleged it unless we were alone though, and very seldom at that. Well, for some reason he started attacking me (metaphorically speaking) and then we stopped being friends. I haven't talked to him in over 3 months. Then, one day my friend Brandon comes up to my house and Jeremy (the one I loved) was with him. Thank God Jeremy didn't come to in because I have no idea if I would've exploded or collapsed. Anwyway, Brandon only came up to show me some videos (he's weird that way, making a 2 mile bike ride just to make sure I watch it) and then we got to talking about why me and Jeremy weren't friends anymore. Brandon said that Jeremy never wanted to stop being my friend. I didn't believe it. Then, after Brandon left, I checked my email and I had an email from Jeremy (from earlier). I asked him striaght out if it was a lie, because I very much felt it was. And he said no and then we talked for awhile (over email) and he said he truly was sorry and that he wanted to start over. I still don't trust him. Do you think it's possible to restart our friendship and become as close as we were again after how much pain he caused (I was depressed for 2 and a half months *still am a little* and now I trust no one and am very antisocial)?
    KalFour's Avatar
    KalFour Posts: 332, Reputation: 46
    Full Member
     
    #2

    Jul 4, 2008, 12:15 AM
    Hi PikachuFan,

    He probably didn't want to end the friendship. Chaces are, he knew you had feelings for him but didn't know how to handle it. It probably made him feel awkward and uncomfortable, so he lashed out.
    That doesn't make it OK though.
    From what he's said, it sounds as though you could re-develop the friendship if you want to. But if you're still feeling distrustful around him, be cautious for a while. Make sure you're getting what you want, notb just giving into his wants.

    Take care,
    Kal
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Jul 4, 2008, 05:35 AM
    Discuss with him (in person) how the two of you can do things different to get along better and then decide on whether to give him another chance. He may have learned from his mistakes but you will never know if you don't give him the benefit of the doubt. If he starts the same thing over then give him the option of quitting the old habit or you can't be with him.
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
     
    #4

    Jul 4, 2008, 07:20 AM
    Life is risk, hon. It's going to be a judgement call on your part.

    On one hand, you're pretty much almost over what he did and have moved on. You know your life is moving along just fine without him, as it would without any single person. Do you WANT to risk going through all that again? He seemed to have done it for no reason on your part, meaning you have no control over keeping it from happening again. Is it really worth the risk?

    On the other hand, friends are precious commodities. Of course you can establish/reestablish friendships with anyone you're willing to put in the time with. PLUS, you can control what kind of friendship it is, right? In this case, I would be more pragmatic about it all and restrict the urge to "be the same way we were before" for quite awhile.

    On one hand you are risking getting hurt AGAIN, on the other you CAN keep it simple with him.

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