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    Pete00's Avatar
    Pete00 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Apr 19, 2017, 03:28 PM
    Porn/masturbation
    Hi everyone, I'm new and need to ask something that I saw few weeks ago.
    I'm 19 years old male and I have a 10yold niece.
    One night when I got home late, I saw my niece sitting on the couch watching porn and masturbating and I mean the hardcore porn.
    I live with my sister inlaw and her daughter.
    She had to go work so I was late and my niece was home alone.
    I told her off but she has a big attitude and tells me to leave her alone and said mommy lets her watch it so why can't I.

    When she got home, we had a chat and she said young girls at that age have lots of hormones and need to experience things.
    And apparently not good to restrict them from things they like.
    She told me it's normal to masturbate while watching porn and... she also suggested I'm welcome to sit with them and watch porn together.
    Should I just let her do things she wants and maybe sit with them together?
    My niece gets to crazy if I tell her to not do things.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,286, Reputation: 5645
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    #2

    Apr 19, 2017, 05:01 PM
    This is something that would warrant child protective services taking the child out of the home. This is not normal, nor is it healthy.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,790, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #3

    Apr 19, 2017, 07:24 PM
    Do you really need to ask if this OK?
    That child needs to be taken out of the home and that mother needs to be arrested , which it what could happened to you if you sit in on that mess. You need to find someplace else to live
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,303, Reputation: 7691
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    #4

    Apr 19, 2017, 07:32 PM
    Of course it is totally wrong. This needs to be reported.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,137, Reputation: 10852
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    #5

    Apr 20, 2017, 06:03 AM
    I would remove myself from this sick situation. Your sister in law is crazy, and your niece needs help. In the USA child protective services would be called for such ABUSE of a minor.

    I hate to ask but where is her husband?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,286, Reputation: 5645
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    #6

    Apr 20, 2017, 07:01 AM
    I smell troll.
    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
    Adult Sexuality Expert
     
    #7

    Apr 20, 2017, 07:30 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Pete00 View Post
    Hi everyone, I'm new and need to ask something that I saw few weeks ago.
    I'm 19 years old male and I have a 10yold niece.
    One night when I got home late, I saw my niece sitting on the couch watching porn and masturbating and I mean the hardcore porn.
    I live with my sister inlaw and her daughter.
    She had to go work so I was late and my niece was home alone.
    I told her off but she has a big attitude and tells me to leave her alone and said mommy lets her watch it so why can't I.

    When she got home, we had a chat and she said young girls at that age have lots of hormones and need to experience things.
    And apparently not good to restrict them from things they like.
    She told me it's normal to masturbate while watching porn and... she also suggested I'm welcome to sit with them and watch porn together.
    Should I just let her do things she wants and maybe sit with them together?
    My niece gets to crazy if I tell her to not do things.
    (Quoted so it is known what I replied to.)

    The ONLY acceptable thing I find here is the sister in-law being OK with her daughter masturbating. It is a good thing.

    Things that warrant a call to CPS is:
    1). Watching of Porn. She needs to be of legal age for that, and if the mother knows about it and is NOT doing anything to prevent this then it is bad.
    2). Mother & child masturbating together. Nuff said.
    3). Offering to masturbate with her and child. Um... no.


    If you're not a troll then call CPS on her now. This isn't acceptable.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
    Ultra Member
     
    #8

    Apr 20, 2017, 08:02 AM
    "I smell troll."

    Me thinks that as well and that's why I didn't take the time to reply.

    "Should I just let her do things she wants and maybe sit with them together?" That sealed it for me.
    Pete00's Avatar
    Pete00 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #9

    Apr 21, 2017, 02:03 PM
    I'm not a troll. I know it was my first post but that's what is now going on.
    The husband which is my brother is no longer with them anymore. They don't want him around for other reasons.
    and my sister inlaw is a stripper so I'm the only one looking after her.
    I have asked on another panrenting forum or something in private and one of the reply I got from a mom said her daughter was watching porn aswel and masturbating but she was so to talk about it when got busted by her mom.. her mom says it's OK to masturbate aswel but she couldn't do it without porn so she allows her but to do it in her room.
    I also asked on another one again and a 18yold girl replied don't restrict her as she will go out to find it herself in the street and won't be good. Let her watch it and masturbate because we need to as girls at that age have lots of hormones and need to experience things. She has done that when her dad restricted her and she went out to the street to find pleasure.
    Sister inlaw tells me it's fine with her that she does that in front of me because she is very comfortable and rather with someone close than some random or anything.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,870, Reputation: 5429
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #10

    Apr 21, 2017, 02:29 PM
    The last thing on my mind at age 10 was masturbating -- but back then, I had a baby dinosaur as a pet....

    What about schoolwork and chores and reading books and going to friends' homes and tending to any pets? (not dinosaurs, I'm guessing) Turn off the tv (which begs the question, "What is she watching?!") and bake cookies and play board games or a card game like "War" and put together jigsaw puzzles and work together on crossword puzzles and put together Lego kits and write a story together and paint pictures and make things out of Play-doh and fill a sheet of blank paper with rows and columns of dots, then take turns connecting them and making boxes. Be this girl's healthy-amusements teacher!
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #11

    Apr 21, 2017, 03:22 PM
    May I ask which country you reside in?

    You need to find to find other living arrangements before the 10 year old tells her friends about her Uncle, porn and masturbation and the story spreads to concerned adults. I highly doubt that you want to be arrested for child molestation.

    This sounds like a child who needs appropriate positive and loving attention. I wish I could encourage you to be the person to give it to her. However, this set-up and her mother's attitude are a path toward you losing your freedom. I can see the mom throwing you under the proverbial bus if the authorities find out. Even if you are gone or hiding in your room.

    10 year olds may have hormones (a bit young for puberty, but not for 'masturbation' to feel good) but that does not excuse the mother's lack of parenting. Part of parenting is teaching what is appropriate and what isn't. Your sister-in-law obviously has a lot of issues (and I am not talking about the stripping. A job is a job.) She doesn't seem to know that she as an adult must set boundaries so that her child can learn how to behave properly in society.

    May I ask what your bother's situation is and why he isn't in the picture?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,137, Reputation: 10852
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    #12

    Apr 21, 2017, 03:57 PM
    You are in over your head here, and clearly your sister in law and her child need a professional intervention. Having said that though, your country, region in the world is important because lack of quality professional services is iffy even in the USA for such dire crisis.

    This is a VERY unhealthy and dangerous situation for you and them, and I don't think that allowing this child and her mother to continue down this path has a good outcome. I think you feel the same and know that you need the help of some higher authority, and not the random advice of strangers.

    If it was me the child would be removed from the home of the mother, and she would be in a program to change her whole attitude and approach to parenting before she ever had custody again. Doing nothing is not an option unless you remove yourself from this situation.

    Maybe consult a trusted elder, or relative as this is just sick and I don't see it getting better on its own.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #13

    Apr 21, 2017, 07:58 PM
    Okay, I'm going to post as if this isn't a troll, and hope that it is because if it isn't, this is just sick beyond reason.

    So to answer if this is okay or not. Would it be okay for your 10 year old niece to have sex?

    If not, why?

    There's a reason why there are age restrictions for certain things. Driving, drinking, voting, having sex.

    If it's not legal for a 10 year old to have sex, why would it be okay for a 10 year old to watch what you deemed "hardcore porn"?

    That should answer your question. It surely answered it for me.

    Call social services, make sure your niece is safe and getting the help she needs to deal with the very adult things that have been pushed on her (because I'll tell you right now, the only reason she's watching porn, and masturbating, is because mommy taught her, because no 10 year old even knows what porn is!)

    Once she's in a safe place getting help, then pack up your stuff and get the hell out of there.

    This is child abuse, plain and simple. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, smells like a duck, then it's a duck. You know it's a duck, otherwise you wouldn't be asking this question.

    Her mother is unfit to parent, and this child needs help. You're not a teen, you're legally an adult. A young adult, but an adult none the less. I know it won't be easy to do all I'm saying, but you have a choice. Do nothing and watch this young child become pregnant at 13, end up a stripper or worse, a hooker, because of her mothers warped ideas of raising a child, or do the hard thing and call someone that can put a stop to this once and for all.

    I think you know what you have to do. I think it will be the hardest thing you ever have to do. I know that doing it will give this child a better shot at a normal productive life.

    I can only wish you luck, because no matter what you choose, it won't be easy, but make the right choice. Give this kid a shot at being a kid, and learning how to be a kid.

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