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Anotherturningpoint · Jul 28, 2007, 09:47 AM

Hey,
My names Rocco and I'm 17.
For the last few months if been trying to hide the fact that my girlfriend and I are having a sexual relationship from my parents.
No one ever goes into my room but me!!
But my mom was cleaning.
She found a condom I had used and I was stupid enough to think no one would see it.:eek:
She frecked out and so did my dad.
My mom won't talk to me and my dad and I are always fighting.
I just want to let them know that I'm sorry,but I don't know how!! :confused:
I mean me and my dad never do things togther anymore well besides fight!! :(
I really need your help!!
Thanks for your time!
Rocco Elliot.

excon · Jul 28, 2007, 09:54 AM

Hello Rocco:

Don't tell them you're sorry, because you're not - and you shouldn't be. Tell them you're 17 and sexually active. You care about them, and want them to love you, but you're not doing anything wrong. In fact, you're using a condom. That's a GOOD thing. Tell them that.

Are they going to understand?? Are you going to have the same relationship you had when you were a kid?? Nope! But, you don't understand them any better than they do you, so don't come down on them too hard for it.

You're right. This is a turning point. No parent wants to see their kid grow up.

excon

Wondergirl · Jul 28, 2007, 10:06 AM

I don't know the situation at your house. Did your parents tell you about the "birds and the bees" when you were younger? Did they make rules about what can or cannot be done in your bedroom? How did the closed door policy come about? Why did your mom feel the need to clean your room if she normally never goes into it? Do both parents work and leave you at home alone for hours -- or how did this happen with the girlfriend?

If I had raised you (under my rules), I would be really upset and angry that you were a sneak having sex in your bedroom with your girlfriend. And was that passive-aggressive behavior to "forget about" the condom, really secretly hoping someone would find it and figure out what you are really doing without your having to really say it out loud?

Suggest stuff to your dad that you and he can do together. Or at least tell him you miss him in your life and want to talk about what you two can do together. Then apologize to your mom and tell her it will never happen again -- "it" meaning having sex with anyone under their roof unless they have given their OK.

Anotherturningpoint · Jul 28, 2007, 10:07 AM

Thanks for the advice excon.
If only they could see things as clearly as you.
I respect the fact that there not going to understand but I no that they won't try.
Even when I was growing up they would never try to understand anything.
It was just wrong and that I shouldn't do it.
Which is the main reason I'm not such a good kid cause I was never told why!
Thanks anyway,
Rocco Elliot.

Also thanks to you wondergirl,
No they didn't tell me about sex they partly guessed I knew.
They did make rules but my bros and I didn't really care.
I don't how I guess just a matter of privacy.
Well I asked her to.
My dad does work a lot!
My mom does too.
I really did forget but I see how you could make that mistake.
I don't know if I'm ready to talk to my dad about that yet but I'll tell my mom.
Thanks,
Rocco Elliot.

NowWhat · Jul 28, 2007, 10:15 AM

My brother has a teenage son - younger than you, but a teenager none the less. Being a guy that was once a teenager, he expected that his son was or would be soon - sexually active. He has tried to educate him on the subject. He has set rules of having guests in the house when they aren't home, etc.
I would imagine that your parents expected that you have become sexually active. They aren't stupid. From stories I have heard - most boys lose their virginity before girls (at an earlier age). So, they maybe upset at the realization that their son is no longer a little kid.
Just try and talk to them. They may not be as close-minded as you think.
Good Luck.

Anotherturningpoint · Jul 28, 2007, 10:30 AM

Thanks,
Your nephew is lucky to have such an understanding father!
Rocco Elliot.

Anotherturningpoint · Jul 29, 2007, 10:26 AM

Well I tried the answers... they didn't work but thanks anway!!
I really like if anyone one had some other ideas!!
Rocco Elliot

NowWhat · Jul 29, 2007, 12:22 PM

What is exactly happening? Are you talking to them? What are they saying?

Could the subject be droped and you guys just move on? It has happened and nobody can go back and change it - so what is the point of dwelling on it? If they have questions for you - they will ask and when/if they do, talk to them.

piggy13 · Jul 29, 2007, 12:34 PM

Don't worry about it. your 17 u have a life.. at least your not secually active with more than one person. adios<3 good luck!

talaniman · Jul 29, 2007, 12:47 PM

Its not up to you to talk to them. Its up to them to talk to you. You don't have the maturity or skills to tell them anything, and can only apologize for disrespecting their house. That you should do. The next move is theirs as parents, and sorry they are not doing their part, maybe they just don't know how, but try not to resent them, and keep an open mind in case they do find it within themselves to talk and guide you. Your only doing what every other guy your age is doing so don't let anyone make you feel guilty or bad about it.

s_cianci · Jul 29, 2007, 12:57 PM

Get your parents together at a neutral time some evening and explain to them both how sorry you are and that you know that what you did was wrong and why it was wrong. Assure them that it's over and it won't happen again.

talaniman · Jul 29, 2007, 12:59 PM

I can tell you this though, you are at the age where it is very important you think for yourself, and take responsibility for your own actions, as they can not only affect you and your future, but others as well. Hats off to using condoms. They are better than nothing. So while your wondering what to do next, think about feeding yourself, and getting the skills necessary for you having your own independent life.

JoeCanada76 · Jul 29, 2007, 01:17 PM

I just want to add, at least your smart enough to use protection. They did not give you any credit for that though, did they? Your being smart using protection, like tal said hats off to that.

Joe

Anotherturningpoint · Aug 1, 2007, 12:16 PM

Hey,
I'd just like 2 say thanks 4 all da help!!
My parents and I have worked things out.
I can't thank u all enough!!
Thanks
Rocco Elliot

emopunk7 · Aug 1, 2007, 01:35 PM

So you listen to punk rock and you're a christian? Wow... We have those 2 things in common except that I don't dress or really look like a punk rocker...

Dreams of lies · Aug 1, 2007, 01:54 PM

I don't really know what to say on this subject that only that you should have though what would happen if they did found out... your parents love you... and they don't won't anything to happen to you like dessiess that you can get from having sex... is that they probably think that they have faild as a parents just let them know what your feeelings about this is and even though you can't talk to them right it down on a peace of papper and then tell them if you won't... I hope that this helps you

Anotherturningpoint · Aug 1, 2007, 02:23 PM

Well I don't really either but I did but my dad made me stop!!

stonewilder · Aug 1, 2007, 03:15 PM

Are they mad because you had sex or because you had sex in their house? First off the fact that you used a condom should be commended. On the other hand having sex in your parents house is very disrespectful. At 17 and smart enough to use a condom I don't think you should have to apologize for that but having sex in your parents house is something you should ask forgiveness for and ensure them it will never happen again... but mean it when you say it.