The name's Brad. I'm a 19yr old secretly gay guy. Ive recently realized that I have fallen in love with my ultimate best friend (a guy). For about a year now. Recently, its been affecting me in a really bad way. I know that I'm never going to get the affection from him that I crave, but I don't know what to do now, I think about him all the time (I mean, all the time!), its actually ruining my life. Ive started smoking, using anti-depressant pills even, its sad I know. I can't get myself to tell him these things, It would ruin our extremely close relationship. I so badly want to tell him my feeling and all that, but I know I would be risking everything. Ive tried taking my mind off him, by excercising, reading, socializing, but it just doesn't work. I'm distant with everyone, my life is falling to pieces. How can I cope? I can't live like this forever! Is there possibly a way of detatching myself from him? I considered finding someone to be with, but I can't risk that yet under my parent's roof. The dude means so much to me, and I to him (Not just saying this, I know), its just fricking scary! And he is completely 100% straight, no questions. Please help. Anything.

You are right. You will not get the response you seek. If you value your friendship move on. Although if you are true friends, he will understand you are gay, but tell you there will never been anything sexual with you too. You know your friend best.

Find other friends to do things with.

Good luck.