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2BR02B · Nov 18, 2008, 07:09 PM

OK, I know your all going to think I'm a pedophile or something, but hear me out. I've been involuntarily celebate my entire life, I was always incredibly shy and have never dated, never kissed, never done anything,and I'm twenty years old. WHile I find it hard to talk to girls, for the first time in my life a girl has gone against convention and told me that she likes me, the only problem being that she's 11 years old. I wouldn't do anything inappropriate, I know it's juvenile puppy-love, but this seems like my best bet at being able to hold hands and kiss a girl, but I guess it'd be illegal, I couldn't let our parents kow, and we couldn't be seen in public... in other words, does anyone think I should pursue this, or am I doomed to loneliness?

ikryspy · Nov 18, 2008, 07:19 PM

Doomed-loneliness.

blondbabe100 · Nov 18, 2008, 07:30 PM

OK here I'm 11 years old almost 12 and the thing is if you like someone very much go for it don't let age put you down and besides she is inly 11 and you are only 12 and only 1year apart! ;]

beebeecee · Nov 18, 2008, 07:37 PM

Don't do it! You may be a young, inexpierenced 20 year old, but you are still light years apart from someone who's twelve and even though she likes you it would very much be taking advantage - even from the prospective that all girls and I do mean ALL girls are raised with the notion and info about "pedophiles" and she may not think it now but having a relationship with an adult when you're very much a child(12 is still a child!) in our society is frowned upon and she has another 8 years to develop into the person she's going to be and such a 'bad' thing... what am I trying to say? Even if she likes you... somewhere deep down she knows that it's wrong, as do you, and even if it works out perfecly subconsciously it'll come back to bite both of you - it's innappropriate and frankly, illegal. As you said, it's not and never will be something you can go to your parents or her parents and proclaim loudly and be proud of which is reason enough not to do it, life is hard enough already.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 18, 2008, 07:39 PM

Just having feelings for a 11 year old means you need to get counseling ASAP.

neverme · Nov 18, 2008, 09:03 PM

I don't understand how you could possibly find a child attractive.. seek help.

xxariesxx · Nov 18, 2008, 09:23 PM

You should not purse this. You are not doomed to loneliness either.

She is only 11, and no matter how mature she seems to you, she is NOT. She will change so much by the time she is 20 herself. She is incredibly young and no doubt naïve. I don't doubt she might have a crush on you, but that is pretty typical for anyone, let alone an 11 year old (I don't mean to offend any 11 year olds here) and it is one of those things that comes and goes.

How do you even know this little girl? It's for the best if you stop all contact with her. Even trying to be friends with her is inevitably going to get you in trouble quite honestly.
Why don't you try meeting people your own age? Use that time and energy to get to know people your own age. No one is "doomed" to loneliness forever by any means, but it is a joint effort, you have to put yourself out there to meet others.

It's not a bad idea to see a counselor perhaps either. They could help you get to the root of why you feel that way and help you come up with strategies to connect with people in your age group.

hannah_nicole · Nov 18, 2008, 10:33 PM

Ok.. 11 years old is still practically a child who is just growing out of playing with her dollies. It is sick to me that a 20 year old feels the way you do for an 11yo. Sure when I was 11 I had crushes on my older bros 18yo friends but if they ever did anything that would be very wrong, and they would have been taking advantage of me. Go out and meet some people your age. Why would you want a girlfriend you couldn't tell anyone about or be seen with anyway?

ZoeMarie · Nov 18, 2008, 10:47 PM

Yeah, wow... I wouldn't pursue this at all.

2BR02B · Nov 18, 2008, 11:00 PM

You, I guess you're right. In a perfect world I'd know someone my age that likes me, but it wouldn't work out. Thanks

spyderglass · Nov 18, 2008, 11:02 PM

You are only 20 years old! It's not like you are 45 and are desparately looking for someone to spend your life with. She is just a child and she has a childish crush on you! Crushes don't last very long and she is inapropriately young, if she was 17 years old and had parental consent I would say go for it. But you have plenty of time to meet a woman closer to your age and with similar interests. You aren't the only man that hasn't been in a relationship at your age! Just start working on meeting women at a bar or a coffee shop, at the store for crying out loud! But you have to keep in mind she is a CHILD, and you are and ADULT. You need a relationship with another adult. Otherwise it would be totally inappropriate and let's put it bluntly, just sick.

starbuck8 · Nov 19, 2008, 03:02 PM

Originally Posted by 2BR02B

ya, i guess you're right. in a perfect world I'd know someone my age that likes me, but it wouldn't work out. thanks

Your outlook on life tells me you need to seek help from a professional. I believe you are stuck in the 'poor me' mode, and you think the world has done this to you. There IS no perfect world. Not for you, not for me, not for anyone! Do not drag this innocent 11 yr old into this shallow existence that you have crawled into. Leave this girl completely alone. You are not good for her. You are using her to feel good about yourself, and that will definitely not work either. You are headed for trouble. At 20 yrs. Old, you should know this behaviour crosses all boundaries of mature and conscious behaviour and actions. Please talk to someone and get some help with the issues you have. This is VERY innapropriate behaviour for a 20 yr old.

XxkissesxXX · Nov 19, 2008, 08:35 PM

OK that is kind of creepy(no offence ) it would be different if she was 20 an you were 30 my parents are 11 yrs. Apart but at the age they were when they met it was a huge deal but don't do anything cause if her parents ever did find out they probably wouldn't believe your explanation and just take it as your just using her

aliciarphillips · Nov 20, 2008, 12:23 AM

Smack Yourself HARD

kay9191 · Nov 20, 2008, 09:10 PM

Wow,first of all what are you doing hangin around 11 yos?shouldn't u be in college up to your ears with work, and what twenty yo has time to hang around let alone develop feelings for a little girl.I know you don't want to sound like a ped, but worrying about having a relationship with a child is a little disturbing."puppy love"? You've got to be kidding.youre twenty she's twelve.step out your box,get some help, take a chance, and meet some people your own age or older.

liz28 · Nov 21, 2008, 06:40 AM

Messing around with an eleven year old can land in year and maybe as a sex offender for life. Things as simple as kissing and holding hands can land you in trouble.

You stated you don't want the family to find out and why is that? Because you know it's wrong! If I was her mother your be in loads of trouble and you will get a beating from me. Also, guys in jail don't like people that does things with kids. She is a kid and not even a teenager yet, find someone in your own age group because this is wrong in too many ways to count.

concerned89 · Nov 21, 2008, 08:10 AM

2 options.. Wait till she is 18 or wait until you find another girl you might acctually be comfortable with.

stevetcg · Nov 22, 2008, 08:38 AM

The fact that you are even considering this indicates that you ARE, in fact, a pedophile. You should seek immediate help and avoid children until you can come to terms with your issues.

Pedophilia is not necessarily an action, but as much a desire to perform an action. A moment of weakness will both harm a child and possibly ruin THE REST of your life.

Please, for everyone's sake, seek help and stay away from kids.

southerngalps · Nov 22, 2008, 01:46 PM

This is all wrong legally and morally.

I guess a logical explanation for this is you are inexperienced and you are connecting with someone that young. As to other people's question... why are you even hanging out with an eleven year old?

No matter what the reason is for feeling this way... it is not right!

Move on... get this out of your head.

She is a little girl. Probably hasn't even started her period yet!

Vix89 · Nov 22, 2008, 01:53 PM

When I was 15 I met my now fiancé who was then 21.. and even we both thought it was wrong.. We still chatted until a few months later we knew we were in love. We kept it a secret until I was 17 which killed us both. When we told everyone there were a little bit wary because of the age difference but its all good now at 19 and 25...

BUT...

A 20 year old pursuing an 11 year old is just wrong she is only a baby... you can't just go along with her crush.. cz that's all it is.. just cz your lonely.. it's a illegal and mean.. go to a nightclub or a singles night and find someone your own age or failing that someone who has left school