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James Day · Apr 18, 2009, 02:02 PM

Hi I'm a 15 year old guy who lives in Reigate (the UK) and have been attracted towards guys for a few years.when I was thirteen I had my first boyfriend, and we kept it secret, but now I'm maturing and my hormones are raging due to puberty and I just want to have someone. How do I go about finding someone? My parents don't know and neitehr do my friends. Im not very popular at school so can't ask around there and I don't want to go to one of those 'support for gay people' clinics, because they make me feel bad and wrong for how I am. Please help!

Alty · Apr 18, 2009, 02:05 PM

I think that first you have to be comfortable with who you are. If you don't feel that you can open up to others about being gay, then how can you hope to find someone?

I can't imagine how hard it is to tell people that you are gay, but I do know that you can do it. Start with your parents, then your friends. If they're really your friends then they'll accept you for who you are.

As for finding other gay boys around your area, sadly I don't know the UK and wouldn't have any idea where to start.

Coming out is the first step though, I really believe that.

Good luck. :)

James Day · Apr 18, 2009, 02:08 PM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I think that first you have to be comfortable with who you are. If you don't feel that you can open up to others about being gay, then how can you hope to find someone?

I can't imagine how hard it is to tell people that you are gay, but I do know that you can do it. Start with your parents, then your friends. If they're really your friends then they'll accept you for who you are.

As for finding other gay boys around your area, sadly I don't know the UK and wouldn't have any idea where to start.

Coming out is the first step though, I really believe that.

Good luck. :)

I know, its just my older brother was bisexual and when he came out he was sent away for a while.. my parents are very anti gay which is a problem... im not sure if I'm gay or bi which is why I want a boyfrind, not because I'm a horney teen and want sex, but because I want to see what its like to just be with a guy, kissing and stuff, to find myself... to discover if I am or am not gay

talaniman · Apr 18, 2009, 02:15 PM

I am afraid you'll have to be like most teen agers with raging hormones, be careful how you rage, and who you rage with.

Raging hormones is not an excuse for bad, or impulsive behavior, gay or straight, and the consequences can be greater than you can pay.

One word for you, responsibility.

Alty · Apr 18, 2009, 02:15 PM

Originally Posted by James Day

i know, its just my older brother was bisexual and when he came out he was sent away for a while..my parents are very anti gay which is a problem...im not sure if im gay or bi which is y i want a boyfrind, not because im a horney teen and want sex, but because i want to see what its like to just be with a guy, kissing and stuff, to find myself...to discover if i am or am not gay

That's hard. Did your parents eventually accept your brother, or are they still unaccepting of his lifestyle?

Are you at all attracted to girls, or do you think you are because it would be easier, more acceptable?

You're really young, sexuality at 15 is hard enough without having to decide what your preference is.

I wish I could tell you, but this is something you have to figure out for yourself. I just don't see how you're going to get a boyfriend unless you come out.

Are there any teen meeting places in your area? How about teen gay support groups? I know you said you didn't want to do that, but it might help you figure things out, as well as giving you the opportunity to meet other gay guys your age.

Don't let this get you down, I know, not easy, but you'll be okay. Just remember, no matter what others say, you are who you are, your sexuality doesn't define you, it's who you are, not what you are that matters. :)

If you want to talk, we're here. There are a lot of other kids on this site that are going through the same thing you are, so look around at other questions, they may help you over this bump.