Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    howsthat15's Avatar
    howsthat15 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 25, 2017, 03:36 AM
    How would you react
    I need to ask my mum about getting birth control. Not a conversation I'm looking forward to. I want to be prepared for how she might react. Any parents on here who might be able to tell me how they would react?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,137, Reputation: 10852
    Expert
     
    #2

    May 25, 2017, 04:13 AM
    Are you 15 as your username suggests? Has your mom had the TALK with you about guys and sex? What kind of relationship do you have with your parents, especially your mom? If you and mom have always been able to talk about nearly everything, and you have been honest and open then likely she/they may be pretty cool, I think, at least after the shock wears off. Are you allowed to date?

    Honestly they may well hit the roof at first, but may calm down, at least mom might but dad's are ready for war against anybody that touches their precious little girl LOL! Do you have sisters, a big sister maybe?
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #3

    May 25, 2017, 07:39 AM
    Tal covered the question fairly well. So, I am going to take a different tack. Full disclosure, I am a mother of a now adult daughter.

    You should be able to talk to your mother about birth control. You should also be able to explain why you want it. Your reasons should be given in a respectful and mature manner. If she reacts negatively, do not allow emotions to take over. Parents respond better to well thought out reasons than they do emotional outbursts.

    Be prepared for your mother to say no especially if you are wanting it strictly for contraception. If you are having other medical issues (such as heavy, painful periods) that birth control can help with, then she might be more accepting.

    Be aware of the limits of birth control. No form is 100% effective. Most fail at the worst time they can.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,137, Reputation: 10852
    Expert
     
    #4

    May 25, 2017, 09:19 AM
    Birth control will not prevent a Sexually Transmitted Disease either.
    howsthat15's Avatar
    howsthat15 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    May 25, 2017, 01:25 PM
    Hi thanks for thd responses. Yes I am 15. I have a good relationship with my mum my dad passed away when I was little from cancer ( nasty bugger that cancer) we talk about most things but we haven't had the talk yet so I'm not to sure how she's going to react she doesn't know I have a boyfriend. Actually I was a bit shocked by your question " are you allowed to date?" I didn't know that I should ask for permission to date are you suppose to?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,137, Reputation: 10852
    Expert
     
    #6

    May 25, 2017, 02:13 PM
    Sorry about your dad, and yes most DAD's (And mom's too!) will insist on PERMISSION. I did. That's never stopped a girl from having a boyfriend though, or being caught and hell to pay, but like you say your mom doesn't know(?). Or at least hasn't said anything.

    All I can say really is be armed with knowledge, so talk to your mom, no matter how you think she will react. No matter how well you know, like, trust your boyfriend, as pregnancy isn't the only consequence of sex, there are diseases too, and MOST may not know they have one, and spread them unwittingly to a partner(S). Insist on a condom, as well as use BC, but FACTUALLY it's a crap shoot, but better than NOTHING at all.

    I know for FACT women get pregnant and catch diseases using THREE forms of birth control! Bummer ain't it? Welcome to the real world.
    howsthat15's Avatar
    howsthat15 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #7

    May 25, 2017, 03:06 PM
    Thanks its OK I know my dads always around. Ive read through a lot of post on this site big eye opener. I thought we were ready to move our relation further and wanted to be prepared but now I'm not so sure. Most my friends are having sex with their boyfriends or who ever, it seems like no big deal. You get taught at school about safe sex, pregnancy and diseases but it's not until I've read some posts on here how it can turn out that gives you more understanding. I'm not ready to be a mum and he neither a dad so I think I will wait. I worry though my boyfriend has been very keen for me to get on birth control if I tell him I don't want to have sex he might not be too happy. I know I probably shouldn't worry if he really cares for me he will wait but I don't want to lose him either.

    I will just roll with it sees what happens. Thanks for letting me know about asking for permission thing definitely didn't even think about that and def don't want to cause no tensions in relationship with mum. Cheers
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,870, Reputation: 5429
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #8

    May 25, 2017, 04:23 PM
    I worry though my boyfriend has been very keen for me to get on birth control if I tell him I don't want to have sex he might not be too happy. I know I probably shouldn't worry if he really cares for me he will wait but I don't want to lose him either.
    If he truly loves you and cares about your wellbeing, he won't push for sex. If you "lose" him because he doesn't want to wait, you really haven't lost anything. Boys have always been this way, even back when I was your age, even when my mother was your age! Please be safe!
    howsthat15's Avatar
    howsthat15 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #9

    May 26, 2017, 02:54 PM
    Ive got myself in a spot I didn't exspect. I had a talk with my mum, thought I'd start small with boyfriend tackle birth control later, didn't go anything how I'd thouggt. My mum says no dating I'm to young not until I'm at least 16, I should not be worrying about boys. I panicked a bit when she asked me if I asked because I liked a certain boy and said no. I lied to my mum it doesn't feel very good.

    Now I don't know what to do. I could sit down and tell my mum I lied I have a boyfriend and see what she says but I don't think she will be happy, I could just break up with him or I could just keep seeing him and not tell my mum. And I was worried about having a conversation about birth control lol. My brain is telling me to listen to my mum but then I really like ghis guy
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,870, Reputation: 5429
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #10

    May 26, 2017, 03:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by howsthat15 View Post
    Ive got myself in a spot I didn't exspect. I had a talk with my mum, thought I'd start small with boyfriend tackle birth control later, didn't go anything how I'd thouggt. My mum says no dating I'm to young not until I'm at least 16, I should not be worrying about boys. I panicked a bit when she asked me if I asked because I liked a certain boy and said no. I lied to my mum it doesn't feel very good.

    Now I don't know what to do. I could sit down and tell my mum I lied I have a boyfriend and see what she says but I don't think she will be happy, I could just break up with him or I could just keep seeing him and not tell my mum. And I was worried about having a conversation about birth control lol. My brain is telling me to listen to my mum but then I really like ghis guy
    Sounds like you're living my life back when I was your age. What my boyfriend and I did was not sneak around but joined a couple of the same clubs. We also belonged to the same church, so when our youth group went on day trips, he and I went, too. And that youth group had movie nights, went to baseball games, and had parties or went bowling. Soooooo, my advice to you is to figure out how to "date" him in a group setting. At 15, I didn't think dating and being alone with a guy was any big deal, but my parents did, so that's why he and I just "dated" as part of a group. Later, you'll be glad you followed your mum's instructions.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,137, Reputation: 10852
    Expert
     
    #11

    May 26, 2017, 06:24 PM
    Found out how your mom felt about it huh? Don't panic, see this as a way to at least start honest communications with your mom. All you have to do is bring the HONESTY from your side. Before we go further though could you please reveal HOW and WHERE, and WHEN you "see" this boy? (Same question that mom will ask)

    Oh, your mom knows you are lying about having an interest in someone, so you are only fooling yourself. NEVER think you are smarter than your parents!

    We know our kids better than they know themselves... that's why HONESTY is so important.
    howsthat15's Avatar
    howsthat15 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #12

    May 27, 2017, 04:49 PM
    Yes certainly did find out how mum feels about me dating. I meet my boyfriend through the group of friends I hang out with at school he's not in the same year as me but we get breaks together. We spend a lot of our time together after school. My mum trusts me to be responsible to look after myself until she gets home from work, so I have the house to myself, my boyfriend and friends will come over and hangout my mum doesn't finish work until the evening so everyone usually gone home before mum gets home. My mum knows my friends come over she doesn't mind as long as it doesn't interfere with my chores or getting my homework done.

    I have this feeling that if I tell my mum I have a boyfriend that it might change the way things have been. And maybe shd does already knows and is seeing if I will tell her.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,870, Reputation: 5429
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #13

    May 27, 2017, 05:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by howsthat15 View Post
    I have this feeling that if I tell my mum I have a boyfriend that it might change the way things have been. And maybe shd does already knows and is seeing if I will tell her.
    "Mum, you know that my friends often hang out here after school. I really like one of the guys and hope to date him when I'm old enough. Would you like to meet him and get to know him? I'd really like that!"

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

How should I react to this? [ 4 Answers ]

Me and this guy have been flirting with each other for the past 2 months. In the last 2 weeks however he ignored me completely. Before that, I asked him whether he is dating another girl because somebody told me he was, he said he is only texting her. Then we talked a bit and he then started to...

I need to know how to react. [ 10 Answers ]

Okay, yesterday I was at work training and I sat next to a cute girl. She and I would chat when the instructor wasn't talking and we really seemed to be connecting. But when HR came and asked for our IDs we both got out our wallets and I glanced a picture of a guy in a baseball uniform in her...

I don't know how to react [ 10 Answers ]

I am 21, and this guy is 33. The age doesn't bother me, but he flirts with me all the time, and I mean like he asks me to the movies every weekend. I am suppose to be going to watch a movie at his house and he says "We can cuddle". He has a kind of sort of girlfriend so he says, she never comes to...

For Men, How Would You React? [ 8 Answers ]

If we liked each other and I tell you I'm a virgin, and then I say "but I'm up for most things and I want to know everything there is to know about sex". How would you react?


View more questions Search