I have been in a relationship for a year and 6months now. The guy I am with is almost two years younger then me. Im 19 he is 17. He is the first younger guy that I have ever dated and is more mature than the 20 year olds that I did once date. But the down fall with this relationship is his dad. His dad controls is every move! He makes his 17 year old crab which is their way of living, that's what puts the food on their table and the roof over their heads.While he is out doing his normal routine his dad sits at home and does nothing. Then he has to come home cook, clean, and do the laundry. So, that leaves us no time for us. Yes, I have respected him because I understand he's younger and has to still respect his dad. But he makes more money in 5 months than I have in a year and I do everything for him. I get him whatever he needs and a lot of the time what he wants. But when I ask for help he claims he doesn't have the money. The only thing he has done for me is buy me a ring and a puppy... but he got them both cheap! Nice ring, on sale. So needless to say I have spent way more money on him. I know I sound greedy but I'm not, all I want from him is a little help with gas. I treasure the simple things in life and he doesn't do any of it. I don't undertsand how I get him to understand that dating is a "Wooing" process. He is suppose to want to do things for me. What do I do to get him to realize he needs to change?

17 years old, crabbing, cooking, cleaning, laundry, school etc... sounds like you're not the only important thing in his life. It's a big burden for a 17yr old to take on.

Instead of posting it on here, maybe you should express those feelings towards him and let him know what you think and how you feel. Communication is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship!

Good Luck

Honestly I think your placing too much value and importance on the gifts and money aspect. Perhaps he is saving? I make more than three times what my girlfriend does and I refuse to spend most of it so that I can provide for a family down the road and retire early. You say that you get him everything but he doesn't return the favor? Perhaps you should stop getting him things so you will have money for your own gas. Then if he asks why you haven't been so forthcoming with presents and favors you make your case that he wasn't returning the favor. Dating Isn't a wooing process. That should've happened prior to dating. Dating is the period where you get to intimately know your partner and see if your truly compatible. Maybe that's what your beginning to figure out.

-Drew

Quit thinking about what you think he should be doing for you.

Why not just talk to him openly and honestly? You know it's possible that his Dad is teaching him some work ethics and maybe won't allow him to spend the money. Maybe he has to save for college or something else. Talk to him and find out!

I agree about talking to him. Wouldn't you feel better if he had a problem with the relationship to come to you and discuss it! Give him the same benefit!

I understand that you don't make that much money, but remember you are 20yrs and only you know what you can afford and what you cant. If you cannot afford gifts for him then simply stop buying them. No offense, its not how much a gift cost that matters, it's the thought that counts! Also maybe he hasn't been raised to give a bunch of gifts, so that could be what influences him. He is younger and still living at home, so he does have to comply with his parents rules and chores.

Stop trying to change this young guy, and make some adjustments to your own thinking, and spending habits, and appreciate who he is, and love him for it.

You both will be happier, because you are happy. If you have to change them, then you don't need to be with them.