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LYNNZEE502 · Aug 3, 2008, 03:44 PM

My 17 year old daughter hater me. She has a drug dealer with no job, no education and living with low life daddy for a boyfriend . She has now dropped out of school- law says nothing I can do. She smokes marijuana- nothing I can do unless its found on her. She calls me every name in the book( id have never called my parents nor another human) because I'm trying to control her by making her come in by 1 am. Just let her move out now she says. She puts nasty pics on myspace- nothing I can do. She makes girls mad at her and gives them my # and they call me horrible names 24 hours a day. People vandalize my property because of her. Short of reporting her boyfriend to the cops there's nothing I can do. If I report him, she may get caught up in it and then she goes to jail, they both hate me for the rest of their life and he and his buddies retaliate- brutely. They've done it to others. I'm lost.

twinkiedooter · Aug 3, 2008, 05:32 PM

If she is causing you this much heartache and headache I would suggest that you do one of these two things: 1. Let her move out and move in with the deadbeat druggie. Or 2. Have them arrested and let the chips fall where they may. Also, be sure to change your phone number to an unlisted one regardless of what you do. She's not going to listen to you and you are going to be beating your head against a wall and taking this out on you until you realize this. Drugs have such an allure that a teen will respond to versus mom and sensibility. Getting arrested just might be the best thing for her as she will be scared to death having to spend time in jail and just wanting to be a little girl again. Sometimes this works for the 17 year old to see what the big bad world is all about, and other times it changes them completely making them worse (if you can imagine that).

If his buddies have retaliated on his behalf before, then this is going to be a very tough call for you mom. If he is part of a gang, then I assure you that they will retaliate. How did she ever get involved with such people?

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 3, 2008, 06:08 PM

Twinkie is right, but also keep in mind that jail is nothing but drug school, free food, free housing. They usually don't care, the only thing they care about to being unable to do drugs.

So, I suggest maybe an intervention. And where do you live that you cannot tell your 17-year-old what to do? Here, she is a minor. Try getting her institutionalized. Rehab?

rockerchick_682 · Aug 3, 2008, 06:10 PM

I don't think there's much you can do but let her learn from her mistakes. Like Lynnzee said, getting her arrested might be a good way to do that.

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 3, 2008, 06:11 PM

Originally Posted by rockerchick_682

I don't think there's much you can do but let her learn from her mistakes. Like Lynnzee said, getting her arrested might be a good way to do that.

Twinkie said that, Lynzee was the OP.

MANDMO 91 · Aug 6, 2008, 07:13 AM

I am a 17 years too and I have some friends that are starting to get into that stuff and I tell them straight up how I feel about what they are doing, and I have even talked to the school counsiler to talk to her and help her with things. But she's your daughter so that's a different story. This is so hard but believe me a daughter can never lose her love for her mom no matter how hard times get. She has a special bond with you that can never be replaced. Unfortunately she got caught up with the wrong set of people and she really does need to open her eyes to life. You have to take control and can't lay beack and say she will have to learn her lesson you have to ask for professional help. Even call a help line and ask if there is a special counsiling ro rehab type of thing! But do it right away before it grow even more! You never want to lose your daughter

N0help4u · Aug 6, 2008, 08:37 AM

I agree with the others. She is out of control and there is nothing you can say or do to make her wake up. The best thing you can do for yourself is let her move with him and learn the hard way. Boot camp would be the only other alternative. Her staying there with you is only going to drag you down with her in the sanity department since she is pulling all these rotten things on you. Sometimes the only way some people learn is the hard way by their own mistakes.
Rehab doesn't help because they have to want to help them self first otherwise it is just a waste to go there.

excon · Aug 6, 2008, 08:39 AM

Originally Posted by LYNNZEE502

how do i open my 17 year old daughters eyes

Hello L:

Wait 10 years.

excon