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    taylor2012's Avatar
    taylor2012 Posts: 60, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Jul 7, 2009, 08:18 PM
    How do I be more talkative and open?
    Well I'm usually a really shy person,I mean most people at my school have never heard me talk. But when I'm with my friends you just about can't get me to shut up. And this year I'm starting tech school and when me and my dad went down to check it out I was suppose to be asking as many questions as I needed to,but I just stood there. I didn't even know what to say,I didn't have anything to ask. My dad told me that I need to be more open to people because he told me that talking to people and start being friends with them will get you far in life. Anyway,I just need to be more talkative to people. And its really starting to affect my life in a big way. What's weird is that I'm really talkative when I'm txting or emailing someone,I'm not sure why? But when I'm face to face with someone talking to them,I just freez and don't know what to talk about. Like the other day one of my best guy friends came over to hang out and I usually text him all them time and really open with him and I haven't seen him in a very long while,but I had absualutly nothing to talk about. It was really embarresing,and he got pretty bored with me. When people ask me,"Why are you so quite?" I'm just like,"i dont have anything to say." And I do try to start conversations with people. I ask "how was your day?" and "what have you been doing lately?" and stuff like that,but then it comes to a stop and awkward silence. Then they usually don't want to talk to me anymore. I just need to know how to be more open with people. I mean,I'm really am an open person when I'm with my close friends and family. How do I do that with other people? I have a bad phobia about what people think of me (and I know I shouldnt) but I do. Sometimes I can't shut up,and it leads to me doing something embarrassing and I will regret it. And I think that's how my whole phobia started. Please help?
    Simone21295's Avatar
    Simone21295 Posts: 100, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Jul 8, 2009, 01:39 AM

    I know how you feel. I am the same way! Everything you said is how I am. I don't know the answer though, I'm sorry. I wish I did.
    taylor2012's Avatar
    taylor2012 Posts: 60, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Jul 8, 2009, 07:25 AM

    Its OK. At least I'm not the only one with this problem.
    shazamataz's Avatar
    shazamataz Posts: 6,642, Reputation: 1244
    Uber Member
     
    #4

    Jul 8, 2009, 08:31 AM

    It sounds like you just have trouble talking to people you don't know, start with doing small thing like calling and ordering a pizza.
    Go into a video store and ask the clerk what movies they recommend in a certain category.

    I know it doesn't sound like much but it will help your confidence in talking to people you don't know.
    optimistic's Avatar
    optimistic Posts: 23, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #5

    Jul 8, 2009, 10:17 AM

    Sometimes I have the same problem
    You need to think about the reasons which make you like that may be you think that they are evaluating you... say that they are not evaluating me and even if they do so never mind
    Think that they are people just like you and don't keep think oh I have to say something I have to say something ideas will come to your mind by their own
    Talk to each one according to his or her pesonality and be yourself.
    HotPotato2009's Avatar
    HotPotato2009 Posts: 706, Reputation: 15
    Senior Member
     
    #6

    Jul 8, 2009, 12:38 PM

    I have the same problem too sometimes, don't feel bad. It usually takes me a while to open up to someone (especially if I don't know them). The only things you can do is ask questions to start conversations. That's what I do. Eventually you'll end up having a really good conversation about something and you won't be afraid to open up.
    HotPotato2009's Avatar
    HotPotato2009 Posts: 706, Reputation: 15
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    #7

    Jul 8, 2009, 12:39 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by optimistic View Post
    sometimes i have the same problem
    you need to think about the reasons which make you like that may be you think that they are evaluating you .... say that they are not evaluating me and even if they do so nevermind
    think that they are people just like you and don't keep think oh i have to say something i have to say something ideas will come to your mind by their own
    talk to each one according to his or her pesonality and be yourself.
    Good Point
    Friends4ver2's Avatar
    Friends4ver2 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Feb 9, 2012, 04:22 PM
    I'm exactly the same. I'm a girl in Middle school, I 4.0's all the time since I entered school, but my problem is when I go talk to people(guys and girls alike)I flip out, I stay silent. I don't say a thing, when I'm so close to talking to someone, I flip out, especially guys. I just can't get a word out of me. I guess I'm afraid of being rejected. When I'm with my friends, I can act like myself, I can laugh, talk like I normally do. I just wish I can be myself around anyone. But I just can't. Don't feel bad, I've got the same problem. The time when I reallly flip out, is when I try to talk to someone I like. I can't work up the guts to talk to them, I get so scared, and then regret it. I hate it. But I can't get over it. I try and I fail, I really don't know what to do. I watch my friends, and so many other people talk with no worry of being rejected or failing. I just can't do that. So I stay quiet, if someone talks to me then I reply. I can't think of things to say. I need help, and confidence, I've got to get out of my shell. So dude, don't worry. You're not the only one.
    its4smart's Avatar
    its4smart Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #9

    Sep 5, 2012, 11:05 AM
    Well,I will not give you all points to here at once just I ll give you one point that try for some days then back to me..
    Whenever you talk ,try to first make eye contact while you face talk with person .generally your eye contact can read more about the person(if you are not able to make eye contact then that's the root cause ).. so it will give you all direction what you have to think and that is real think you can easily share.generally what happnd we can not identified the thing that really sharable.one more think you should also be less hidden about your behavior from the person you were try to talk mostly. If you know you have not described more about your behavior to the person then you will feel hesitate while you talk.
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
    Ultra Member
     
    #10

    Sep 5, 2012, 11:53 AM
    For someone to be more open and talkative they must not care what others think. I think the main cause for being shy is bullying/teasing or the fear of being bullied/teased. At least that's how it was for me.

    I became a very talkative and open person when I learned to just not care. Once you don't care about what other people will think of you or what you say then you can be as open and talkative as you want. Although I must say, getting to that point takes a lot of practice and a good state of mind.

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