I'm sick of me step mum going through me room when I'm not at home. I know she has been things are not in the same place and I know she's been going on my computer, my school bag. I know she read my diary it was moved I was kind of annoyed about that that's private I understand they don't trust me but going on my computer and reading my diary is a bit too much I think I don't want her reading it. Anyway I tried to talked to me dad about it and we ended up having a argument he said she would never do that funny but some of the things he was saying he wouldn't know unless they read my diary.I was so mad maybe I'm wrong but I know when things have been moved. I just want to ask her to stop but don't know how to do it without it turning into a fight or do I just leave it and take me computer an diary with me every where.

Sorry, this is what good parents do, check up on their children. It appears that there may be reasons for the "mistrust" ? What is those? But you do not stop her, nor can you, any attempt to do so, will only show more evidence that perhaps you are hiding something.

You have no right to privacy, and your parents (including step mom) since you live there, have the right to look though your computer anytime they want.

I check my sons on a regular basis to see what sites he has gone to. If I had a girl, I would check closer to see if they were doing any improper chatting online also.

Sounds like you have parents who care about you, and want to be sure, you are not getting into trouble.

Sounds sort of stupid, to take your computer with you, everywhere, but it sounds like you have things to hide ?

There should be some level of trust between you and your mum. Do you have any idea why she doesn't give you a little credit for being trustworthy to some degree?

If you don't think she has a good reason to not trust you, therefore going through your stuff, try to talk to her about it. Maybe you screwed up, or your marks are falling, or you've missed curfew a few times, or she's finding out you were at a party instead of the library, etc.

Try to show you are worthy, in other words, if you can realize there are indeed things you have done in order for her not to trust you.

But, she is doing what most good parents do from time to time, and that is taking responsibility for what their kids do online, particularly. You shouldn't be doing anything online that she would not consider appropriate. If you aren't, what's the big deal with her checking.

Check out Think's prior threads to get the full story.

Think, sorry, but your parents are still extremely concerned about you. They will be for a very long time. While you may think they should lighten up by now, most experts will tell them to do exactly do what they are doing. Think of it this way, if they didn't care, they wouldn't be checking on you.

Try not to get defensive about their going through your stuff. Try to understand that they probably feel like they let you down by not keeping a better eye on what you were doing and letting go of too much control. Now, they are doing the opposite. The more you fight against it the longer they will keep a tighter rein. Taking your diary and computer out of the house will be a sign to them that you do have something to hide. It would be proof that they need to be even stricter.

Politely ask your step-mother if you can talk to her. See if you can open a line of communications with her. Be respectful and listen to what she has to say even if you feel like you are getting upset. Hopefully, if you can show her that you can listen to her side, she will give you a chance to share your feelings. If you can talk to each other maybe she won't feel the need to be as intrusive in your personal belongings. Also, perhaps all of you can figure out how to be a family. But be prepared for it to be another long and bumpy path. There are no fast and easy paths to (re)gaining trust.

Good luck.

Given your history of bad decisions, and bad choices, AND really bad behavior, you should expect and understand close scrutiny. Unrealistic not to. Sucks but you do want them to trust you again, so this is the price you pay.

Maybe you should be grateful they still care enough to keep an eye on you. At least see they act out of love, despite what you put them through.

I understand them searching me room I really do I don't have anything to hide so whatever it's just annoying but I guess that it will show them I don't have anything to hide. I suppose I even understand about the computer. I just think reading my diary is going a bit too far I was told to use it to write about how I'm feeling and something's I wrote when I was very angry at me step mum and dad I don't want them to read it and just personal stuff that they may take the wrong way. But if I carry it with me now will they think I'm hiding things like you say. Maybe I should just talk to her about it not that she admits that she went in there anyway. Are they just going to be like this always I'm not going to go back to that ever and it would be nice to feel like I have my own space at home

You should have a way of safely expressing your feelings and counseling is supposed to be that place. If the diary is an extension of the counselor's office then there is a case for making it private. However, this should be discussed with the counselor and your parents so that everyone agrees to the boundaries. This could also show that you aren't trying to hide anything. It is a part of you doing better.

Talk to your counselor/therapist about arranging a meeting with your parents to discuss the possibility of keeping it out of future searches. As a compromise, maybe your parents will agree to leave it alone unless you start showing signs of backsliding or other evidence appears and it is to be read in the presence of the counselor.

I can hope that it might open a door for all of you to open up and maybe try some family counseling if that hasn't been suggested or tried, yet.

Stupid idea any way a thought diary never really liked the idea anyway. Would just be easier to chuck it away then I don't have to worry about it being an issue or it ever being used against me problem solved. I will just have to get use to them going through me room. I don't see the point in family counselling I hate counselling only reason I go is because is to make them happy. I'm not even doing anything to make them think I'm hiding anything I've completely changed I only ever leave the house to go to school and work they tell me to something I do it I help out I babysit for them so they can go out. Anyway I know I deserve them checking my room just felt like reading diary was a bit wrong ill just get rid of it then no problem. Thanks for the advice always good to read calm me down instead of just over reacting

Actually in counseling, a thought diary is a very good idea and when you take it and read it and talk about it, with the counselor it can help you see yourself more.

You are correct, if you do not want to try, and make counseling work, it is a waste of time, counseling only works if and when all parties want help. The diary should be discussed at counseling, as to the limits of who gets to read it.