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kase05162 · Jul 21, 2014, 08:21 AM

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 7 months now and things between us are going good. (we are both 18) we kiss and make out a lot but I often find myself wanting to become more intimate with him. Before him, I had dated a guy for a year and 2 months and we did everything but have sex. I have experience but my current boyfriend does not. We have talked about becoming more intimate because we both want to. However my parents are very sheltering and don't even let us sit in the same room together without their presence or sight on us. We need time and a place to be comfortable enough to to things. But I don't know where. And I am also worried that because I had already been familiar and comfortable with another guy, that I won't feel the same way with my current boyfriend. I don't want to be rude and push him away. Any thoughts on this situation would be wonderful.

joypulv · Jul 21, 2014, 08:33 AM

I'm wondering first what exactly do you call experience if you have never had sex? Do you mean lying in bed with your clothes off and exploring? Do you mean oral sex (which is sex, so do you mean you haven't had intercourse)?
If you don't want to go into detail, you don't need to. It's just that I don't think there's really so much difference between you and your current boyfriend, and I just wouldn't worry about it. I can't see why you think you might feel something less than thrilled with him, so you tell us where that comes from!
The love of my life was a younger man who really had no experience when I had had plenty. I can't say that I was as patient and understanding for the first week as I wish I had been. He was nervous and I wasn't, poor guy! My only advice is to think about all that.
As for your parents not wanting you two to be alone, that's what happens when you continue to live under their roof. They understandably don't want you to get carried away. They don't want crushed emotions. They don't want pregnancy outside of marriage. What else is there to say? Either become self-supporting or continue to wait.

kase05162 · Jul 21, 2014, 08:47 AM

Well by experience I mean everything but intercourse, considering I leave for the Coast Guard in 6 months and my job is not the best I can't exactly afford to move out any time soon. And I understand what you mean when you say you weren't as patient as you could have been because that is exactly what I am feeling. I have always been the one to over think things in life so sometimes I just need another person's thoughts or input. Thank you!

smoothy · Jul 21, 2014, 09:29 AM

If you can't afford to rent a motel room for privacy.. then you really don't need to be having sex... because its expensive to have a child, and far more expesnice to raise on to adulthood. (and it really doesn't end when they turn 18 either. Yes it does happen to people using birth control and using it correctly...something someone inew at is is prone to make mistakes doing.

Your parents, or his parents aren't under any moral or legal obligation to let you two do anythign while you are living with them, and particularly on their dime.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 21, 2014, 09:47 AM

You don't need to be thinking about having sex until you're not worrying about your parents not letting you near each other. In other words until you are on your own taking care of yourself and can take care of a child if you make one and are mature enough for parenthood, leave intercourse alone.

DoulaLC · Jul 21, 2014, 11:23 AM

Are you planning to continue this relationship when you leave for the Coast Guard? Has that been discussed? As you talked about possibly becoming more intimate, was birth control discussed, and, if so, did you discuss what would happen if the birth control failed?