Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    sweetnsourxx's Avatar
    sweetnsourxx Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 8, 2006, 12:19 AM
    heading for a break up - help please
    I'm 16 years old and my boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year. Everything was good until 3 months ago. Our arguments became more intense. No yelling or anything like that, just more frequent disagreements.

    About a month ago my boyfriend told me he wanted to take a temporary break but that we would get back together. He said everything was getting to be too stressful. We were starting school, heavy load of classes, lots of problems at home, it just became too much for him. My advice to him was not what he wanted to hear, he felt that I just didn't get it. We have a few classes together and even a Saturday class. We still talk during our "break" but not like we used to. When he sees me, his facial expression changes and I feel like I just cause him more stress.

    Today, a mutual friend of ours told me that my boyfriend told him that he was planning on making our break permanent. He said that my boyfriend was planning on doing this gradually. He was going to not talk to me so much so it wouldn't hurt me. A couple of friends have told me that my boyfriend has said that I make things too complicated and that I'm not worth the trouble.

    I feel like I could have been a better girlfriend by not adding to his stress. I admit that I was difficult sometimes and even dramatic at times. I haven't been able to talk to him because I don't know what to say. I want him to be a man and say what he needs to say, but he's afraid to hurt me. I also want to admit my feelings of regret to him. As strong as I thought I was I cried every night since the break, and now, I can't stop thinking about this and how this was all my fault. I want to resolve this but don't know how.

    Help?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #2

    Oct 8, 2006, 06:23 AM
    Don't put a lot in what others say, however his actions speak louder than words, so he is through with you it seems so back away and except that is what he wants and no amount of talking will change that so what is it you hope to accomplish? Time to let go, and move on.
    sweetnsourxx's Avatar
    sweetnsourxx Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Oct 8, 2006, 03:58 PM
    Thank you Talaniman. I'm tired of hanging by a string and I just want this to be over with. I guess what I want to accomplish is to get past it and learn from my mistakes.
    beautifuldiva's Avatar
    beautifuldiva Posts: 79, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Oct 8, 2006, 04:20 PM
    Ya he seems like the type who can't handle the responsibility of a relationship anyway. Oh and don't feel like you could have been a better girlfriend.. you are who you are and he chose to be with you but then decided that it was too stressfull for him.

    Find someone who will love you and everythign you have to offer... a man who loves you will think of you as a stress reliever rather than a factor!!
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
    Uber Member
     
    #5

    Oct 8, 2006, 07:05 PM
    If you truly feel that you're adding to his stress then let him have his break. Back off and give him some space. Maybe he is a little too overwhelmed right now and really can't handle the demands of a relationship. Move on with your own life while he sorts out whatever problems he's dealing with. Spending some time apart may actually be beneficial for your relationship in the long run. Let him miss you. This may actually light a fire under him and get him coming back to you. I can't make any promises but if you keep pressing him you'll only push him further away.
    beautifuldiva's Avatar
    beautifuldiva Posts: 79, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    Oct 8, 2006, 07:25 PM
    Hmm I don't even think you should let him come back to you. If he thinks of you as being added stress than why should you worry about being with him? He has the problem with the relationship... and actually the more I think about it and read the op again, its beginning to sound more like a cop-out. A girlfriend who he loves should be soothing to his stress not the cause of them or an addition to them. Like I said, I think you should find someone who will love everything you bring to the relationship and one who can handle having one.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

Heading toward cheating or not? [ 28 Answers ]

I will try not to make this too long of a story, so I will just give the basic details. I am 28 (she is 27) and have been married for almost 2 years. We have a good relationship, as she is the opposite personality of mine for the most part and we rarely fight (and when we do it is over something...

How do I tell my girlfriend I want to take a little break. [ 15 Answers ]

This is my first post here. I was just doing some searching and I fell upon this site. How do I tell my girlfriend that I want to take some time off from the relationship. Reason being, I feel like I need to find and define myself as a person. I definitely do not want to completely break up...

Having another break [ 8 Answers ]

I am going to be away from the site for about a week. My husband, my baby and I are going on a vacation tomorrow, while the grandparents take care of the rest of the kids. It's a total surprise to me, Alex just told me about it! He thinks we need to get away because of all the **** that's been...

After a break- break up or try again? [ 24 Answers ]

Ok, never done this posting thing but you all give good advice - and I need some opinions outside my own logic! Sorry in advance for the length… I've been dating this guy for 2 years and recently he asked for time off to reconsider things. (That is, break up and then talk in a month and half.)...

On A Break [ 10 Answers ]

Hi... I recently asked to have a break with my boyfriend of nine and a half months and I'm not sure what else to do. I asked for a break because I noticed more and more things he did really angered me and it bothered me to think the more time we spent with each other, the more we really didn't get...


View more questions Search