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    xxMystical's Avatar
    xxMystical Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 14, 2007, 03:53 PM
    Is he too old?
    This may sound really egotistical, but I've always considered myself more mature than most people my age, or even people a few years older than me. It's just how I am, and how I handle things.

    I'm sixteen.

    In your honest opinion, how old is too old for a girl who is 16 to date? I thought of this question after I discovered the real age of the guy I like (he's 23). He works with me, and I assumed he was somewhere around 18. I started to like him, not knowing his real age.

    And now I know.

    I'm just curious to hear what you think. I've asked others, and some see a problem, some don't.

    In all reality, I know I have a small chance at him, regardless of age. I doubt he even notices me, other than the time when I asked him how many people were in a particular section of our haunted house (where we work). Plus, I think he's interested in someone else. I know I shouldn't sell myself short, but I have no chance next to her.
    AKaeTrue's Avatar
    AKaeTrue Posts: 1,599, Reputation: 272
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    #2

    Oct 14, 2007, 04:04 PM
    At 16, it's my opinion as a mother, that 23 is to old.
    I wouldn't allow my daughter at 16 to date a 23 year old.
    With an age gap that large, it puts the two of you in different stage
    Categories. What he may be looking for in a relationship, may differ than what's appropriate for a 16 year old.
    Also, if a 23 year old man wanted to date a 16 year old girl, I'd be questioning his reasoning and integrity.
    My answer is not meant to offend you, it's just my personal feelings on the matter.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Oct 14, 2007, 06:38 PM
    Yes 23 is way to old, no way to justify it at all
    confuseddater's Avatar
    confuseddater Posts: 11, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    Oct 14, 2007, 06:51 PM
    That is kind of weird. I mean you can date people a couple years older or younger(like 1,2, or possibly 3). U can't date someone 7 years older than u. its not right. You follow me.
    I am currently in a relationship and my girlfriend is 1 year younger than me and that's OK. So look for some one your age!
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #5

    Oct 14, 2007, 06:56 PM
    He is not only too old, but he could get in trouble with the law. You are a minor he is an adult. If he is not paying any attention to you it's because he has no interest in teenagers, and shouldn't.
    If you are a mature as you think you are, you will not even try to attract this man's attention.
    Gernald's Avatar
    Gernald Posts: 901, Reputation: 93
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    #6

    Oct 15, 2007, 08:51 AM
    He's too old
    If you're under 18 he can go to prison for satuatory rape (if you do it) regardless of if you consent or not, even if he dosen't know your not older than 18.
    I think there are other laws too
    Men that old, will die sooner anyway... just trying to make you feel better :-)
    LearningAsIGo's Avatar
    LearningAsIGo Posts: 2,653, Reputation: 350
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    #7

    Oct 15, 2007, 10:24 AM
    At 16, I wouldn't date anyone older than 18... MAYBE 19.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #8

    Oct 15, 2007, 10:41 AM
    I want to try and put something in perspective here. I think kae said it best with the point that you are in different stages. A 7 year difference is not a problem when you are both adults, but no matter how mature you think you are or actually are, you really are at very different points in your maturation.

    A 23 yr old, would have little in common with a 16 yr old. Their lives their social circles, their interests are light years apart. In 5 years that may be different, but not now. This means that a 23 yr old interested in a 16 year old has some very large issues. The likelihood is he is developmentally deficient or perverted. Either case, its not a situation you want to get into.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #9

    Oct 19, 2007, 05:59 PM
    A 23 year old man with interest in a teenager ought to be shamed of himself. He is either after young fresh tail, or he's a loser and can't get anyone his own age.
    bob frank's Avatar
    bob frank Posts: 2, Reputation: 0
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    #10

    Oct 19, 2007, 06:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by xxMystical
    This may sound really egotistical, but I've always considered myself more mature than most people my age, or even people a few years older than me. It's just how I am, and how I handle things.

    I'm sixteen.

    In your honest opinion, how old is too old for a girl who is 16 to date? I thought of this question after I discovered the real age of the guy I like (he's 23). He works with me, and I assumed he was somewhere around 18. I started to like him, not knowing his real age.

    And now I know.

    I'm just curious to hear what you think. I've asked others, and some see a problem, some don't.

    In all reality, I know I have a small chance at him, regardless of age. I doubt he even notices me, other than the time when I asked him how many people were in a particular section of our haunted house (where we work). Plus, I think he's interested in someone else. I know I shouldn't sell myself short, but I have no chance next to her.
    I agree with home girl however...
    If you do find out that he's single and he starts to see you how you see him I think you should go with but make sure you go very slowly just because it's a high trust factor involved (because he's so much older than you) but if you are just interested in mature men there are people your age who are as mature as yourself (such as myself, but I'm taken)
    MOWERMAN2468's Avatar
    MOWERMAN2468 Posts: 3,214, Reputation: 243
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    #11

    Oct 19, 2007, 09:44 PM
    Whoa, just a minute. She is 16, he is 23, yes 23. There is definitely an issue here of being WRONG. Girls at the age of 16 are so impressionable that he could lure her into anything he wanted by playing on her emotions. The best thing here is she needs to seek other employment and forget about this guy that is 23. And use this as a learning experience that you can not judge a book by its cover, and read the summary on the back. What I am saying is she thought he looked about 18, well, if she had checked into him a little closer, she may have saved herself some issues here.
    Gernald's Avatar
    Gernald Posts: 901, Reputation: 93
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    #12

    Oct 21, 2007, 08:34 AM
    These guys said:
    mehx disagrees: No. Its 16 for rape
    MOWERMAN2468 agrees: balancer; the OP said she was 16, and besides that isn't there some law about them being more than 2 yrs apart in age and engaging in sexual conduct, not saying they are or anything.

    Where I live in PA I was told if you are under 18 and the person is over 18 then its rape, I remember this because I remember thinking of how stupid it is if you're 17 and your boyfriend is 19. If you are both under 18 and more than 4 years apart in age it is also rape.
    The laws vary from state to state, try checking the laws for your state.
    shesinlove's Avatar
    shesinlove Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Feb 17, 2008, 09:49 PM
    Honestly... age is just a number.. thats something I don't go by... but by law it is kind of old.
    Skittles911's Avatar
    Skittles911 Posts: 42, Reputation: 2
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    #14

    Feb 17, 2008, 10:47 PM
    I don't think that there should be an age limit for love,
    But it doesn't sound like such a good idea, because he might use you or have expectations and force you into sex and stuff, and he also might end up in jail,
    I would understand if you guys were like in love or something but it doesn't sound like you even really know the guy, if iwere you id just be friends with him
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #15

    Feb 18, 2008, 09:10 AM
    16 = High school, first drivers license, Chem labs.
    +
    23 = Potential college graduate (not just college guy), voted in a Presidential election, legal drinker.
    ---------------------
    Not acceptable.

    (7 years is not too much if she was 23 and he was 30. But at 16/23, yes, that's way too many years.)

    And that is not even mentioning the legal ramifications if he slept with her...

    Darlin, find a mature guy your own age... or at least still in high school. Don't try to grow up too fast... believe me, once you reach your "pushing-thirties" you'll wish that you hadn't grown up so fast.

    Treasure your youth... don't wish it away.
    mwilliams15's Avatar
    mwilliams15 Posts: 172, Reputation: 24
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    #16

    Feb 18, 2008, 09:10 PM
    I don't care how mature you think you are at 16 lol. At 16 I thought I was completely mature. You aren't. Don't date this guy. What does a 23 year old MAN want with a 16 year old GIRL? Sex. Most of the people I know that have been invovled with older guys at 16 now have kids. Don't do it. Have fun, stay single, wait till you get to college to meet someone amazing. Don't spoil the funnest last years of being a teenager by dating a 23 year old man. Don't grow up too fast. You don't see it now, but if you date someone that much older than you, you're going to regret it because you will miss out on SO much.

    I dated a guy 3 years older than me in high school. I missed out on a lot. Don't let it happen to you.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #17

    Feb 19, 2008, 08:16 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by shesinlove
    honestly ...age is just a number..thats something i dont go by ...but by law it is kinda old.
    First this thread's last post was 5 months ago before you revived it. Please be more careful about checking dates.

    Aloso try reading the thread before adding superfulous advice. As several of us have detailed in this and other threads, age is NOT just a number when one or both of the parties are minors. At youn ages, people's maturity and interests vary widely even with only a few years difference in ages. A 3 year gap means nothing when its between a 32 yr old and a 29 yr old. But it means a great deal between a 16 yr old and a 19 yr old.

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