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lilmissily · Apr 6, 2011, 11:38 AM

There's this guy, I love him sooo much(with all my heart) and he loves me too. Since before we started having feelings for each other, he was dating a girl. He is still dating her now and he still tells me he loves me. I know that he truly loves me because he's told a some people I know. He's even told them he's going to dump her for me(but he doesn't know I know that). We've even kissed before. He's the first boy I've ever said I love you to. I'm now confused... should I back off and let him and his girlfriend be, or should I wait and see what his next step will be? We are still very close and would do anything for each other. I think he wants to ask me out but the other girl is still in the picture. We're always sending "i love you" texts to each other. When we first started talking, I never thought our relationship would really lead to this... but it has, and we've explored each other too much to just let go. Should I ask him what he's going to do about his girlfriend or just continue our relationship the way we are?

redhed35 · Apr 6, 2011, 11:58 AM

So he has two girls and you have empty promised.

If he loved you as much as he says he does he would be with you, he's cheating on his girlfriend with you.

It does not matter what he says but what his actions say.

So what are his actions saying to you?

lilmissily · Apr 6, 2011, 12:15 PM

Well, I don't think he's ready to break up with her yet, and I know that he deeply loves me. We've kissed and have even done more things(while he was still dating the other girl). She's away in school. And I just want to know who he prefers between the two of us. But I know he loves me.(maybe even more than he loves her. He wants our relationship to keep moving ahead, and I want it too. But then it's making things a whole lot complicating with me knowing that he's dating her, it makes me feel guilty, but I possibly can't bear losing him. Even if I ask her how she is, he just tells me that she's fine and he just finished talking to her or something, and after that he'll still tell me he loves me. Its like he's not ready to let go of her, and also doesn't want to let me go

lilmissily · Apr 6, 2011, 12:33 PM

Well, I don't think he's ready to break up with her yet, and I know that he deeply loves me. We've kissed and have even done more things(while he was still dating the other girl). She's away in school. And I just want to know who he prefers between the two of us. But I know he loves me.(maybe even more than he loves her. He wants our relationship to keep moving ahead, and I want it too. But then it's making things a whole lot complicating with me knowing that he's dating her, it makes me feel guilty, but I possibly can't bear losing him. Even if I ask her how she is, he just tells me that she's fine and he just finished talking to her or something, and after that he'll still tell me he loves me. Its like he's not ready to let go of her, and also doesn't want to let me go

redhed35 · Apr 6, 2011, 01:33 PM

He cheating and your helping him, he the girlfriend and you on the side.

Don't you deserve more then that, doesn't she?

This is not a healthy relationship by any stretch, you need to break free, he's not going to break up with her, and if he does, how could you trust him.

lilmissily · Apr 6, 2011, 02:09 PM

So I don't know what to do now... advice please!
Should I let go? Should I talk to him? What should I do?

lilmissily · Apr 6, 2011, 02:19 PM

So should I talk to him, or continue our relationship.? I love him sooooooooo much and he's so sweet, that's what I love about him... he just keeps turning me on. But I don't know what to do! Advice please

redhed35 · Apr 7, 2011, 06:55 AM

Let him go and move on.

Start seeing more of your friends, get busy in school, he has no intention of leaving his girlfriend for you, if he did he would have already done it.

So you do it, dump him.

NukeNC · Apr 7, 2011, 11:58 AM

Seriously. I don't understand how somebody could possibly help someone cheat on their girlfriend when they know that they are in a relationship. Do you not see how wrong that is? Think of how his girlfriend is going to feel when/if she finds out about this? Do you really want to be responsible for making someone feel like that? I doubt it.

But, yes as Redhed said. You should move on. If he really "loves" you as he said, which might I add that I don't think he really does considering the behavior you described, he would have already broken up with his girlfriend and lets face it... The love part of a relationship doesn't come before the relationship has even begun. He's feeding you line after line that you keep falling for. He is having his cake and eating it too, and your just letting it happen.

spitvenom · Apr 7, 2011, 12:10 PM

Oh lilmiss if you only knew how many girls I have told that I love them more then the person I was with you would be astonished. And Yeah I have told my side girls friends that I really love her Just cause I knew they would tell her He told us he really loves you. You are being played by a master. I hate the way I was from 14 until about 25 years old take it from a retired player let him go before you get really really hurt.

lilmissily · Apr 11, 2011, 11:38 AM

Well, thanks for the commets people, but there'a a twist in the story... he dumped the girl and now asked me out, and I told him I'd think about it, so now I need your help in making this decision, because now I'm convinced that he really loves me... my friend is telling me that I should test him to see how much he loves me by playing a prank on him.. but question is how? And should I answer him with a yes or with a no?

lilmissily · Apr 11, 2011, 11:42 AM

Well, thanks for the commets people, but there'a a twist in the story... he dumped the girl and now asked me out, and I told him I'd think about it, so now I need your help in making this decision, because now I'm convinced that he really loves me... my friend is telling me that I should test him to see how much he loves me by playing a prank on him.. but question is how? And should I answer him with a yes or with a no?

adviceishere · Apr 11, 2011, 12:20 PM

Do you really think we're going to tell you how to play a prank on the guy? We're grown ups my dear! This just shows how very immature you guys are. You start this relationship and you WILL get hurt and I can guarantee that... he is a cheat and you know more than anyone what he is capable of when he does cheat! Kissing and other stuff as you said.

You will be a paranoid wreck if you start anything with him and I can bet top dollar that he will do the same to you but you will be too blind and loved up to even notice.

I might sound harsh but I'm being truthful to you and I honestly doubt you will say no to him, the only reason your asking us if you should say yes or no is because your hoping that we will tell you to say yes because you know deep in your heart this isn't going to have a happy ending.

NukeNC · Apr 11, 2011, 12:24 PM

You throw around the word love waaaaaay to casually. Do you really think this person loves you after not even starting a relationship with you? And if he is willing to break up with his girlfriend for you, what stops him from doing this when something better comes along after you? But, advice is right... your not going to listen to what we say unless we tell you what you want to hear. And we sure can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.

moni_dhn · Nov 12, 2012, 11:41 PM

There is no where that the guy loves you as you explain the situation, because after love , what matters is trust and bonding in a relationship. If that guy can leave that girl alone and come to you, what is the guarantee that he won't dump you can move on with some other girl?? Character is the biggest asset a person has.. This is what you call as a loose character , I would suggest you to move on in your life and don't be a hindrance in their relationship as no way can you lead a happy and fulfilled life by hurting some other girl...