I am currently 16 and living with my father and my step-mom. I don't even want to include "mom" in the word "step-mom", so I will call her Michelle. I was first introduced to Michelle and her two step daughters when I was eight. All these years I have noticed that I was slowly being removed from the family and pretty soon it would seem that it was only my dad, her and the two step daughters. She always gets in my face and assumes the worst of me. I get the best grades in the house, I am the only one who does chores without asking and little things (light bulbs, dishwasher needs unloading, etc). A few months ago I started to smoke weed, and when she caught me, she brought it straight to my dad. She didn't even try talking to me, she just saw it, grabbed it and brought it to my dad. Now my Dad doesn't care that I smoke weed, but she had to make a huge fit of it. Now my dad punishes me for smoking because it upsets his wife, which is fair enough for him. Michelle keeps trying to control my life and keeps trying to tell me what to do outside the house. I understand that smoking weed and bringing contraband in and out is just wrong if it is not my house, so I understand that part and I have ceased any activity associated with marijuana in the house. It seems like it would stop there, but it doesn't. She keeps following me when I drive in my car and keeps calling me to see if I am smoking dope or not by asking me a series of questions that are difficult to answer. It may sound childish, but I believe she is trying to bust me to get me kicked out of the house. I can't run away. My mother died two years ago and I have no other family near me. I know I will be 18 in almost a year, but I can't endure this any longer, what should I do?

Have you spoken with your Dad in an adult way pointing out how you feel slighted in the family? You should not be associated with drugs at all, and as a mother I would have taken your car away since an accident you cause would be the responsibility of your parents. I hope you can show your Dad that you are responsible, but you aren't acting like it when you do drugs.

Maybe she is trying to keep you out of trouble.
Talk to your dad about how you feel, but have you ever tried talking to your step mom?

I do feel for so many of you teens with stepparents who don't treat you the same as their own kids. Consider yourself lucky, however, that you actually have a car (a gift I assume! ) and a dad who wouldn't have minded you smoking weed (Michelle may have bent his ear about the two impressionable girls in the house). So grin and bear it for another school year, if you will be a senior in the fall. Do let your dad know that you've felt left out for years before the pot incident. Alone, and quietly.