Ohh ops
Well sounds like he's giving you signs either he likes you or sex either or he wants you to do the same thing get close , i.g what he did with the hair , not looking for your approval but to see if you like him too

Do you think that he tried to get my attention?

Seems like it is, to see if you'll do the same thing and yea I know guys are weird

I met this guy in University Symphony Orchestra 2 months ago. When I first met him,he was quite nice and friendly. After the orchestra rehearsal, all of us had a social in a bar. Suddenly this guy pointed at the pool table and asked me,"do you want to play the pool?I can teach you" I said "yes" . Later, he approached me again and asked me,"i can compose music. You can come to my room (he lives on campus) next time and I'll show you my works". I thought that he was very friendly although it was only my first time to meet him. I was glad that I had one more friend.

After a week,I saw him again in the symphony orchestra. He treated me like a sh*t this time! Four of us (we met one more guy,called Peter and one more girl called Mary in the orchestra) had a social in a bar after the orchestra rehearsal. We were drinking and talking. This guy suggested that we could play the game on his mobile phone. Actually I played the worst and I lost the game... :'-( Then this guy kept telling me stupid," oh! you stupid! You lost again! Oh!you stupid! You ruined the game!" Peter and Mary played the game well and this guy complimented them by saying "hmm..quite good!" or "not bad"... but he just kept calling me "stupid"! I was very upset and a bit angry! I almost wanted to cry. It was not my fault that I lost the game. Why did he treat me like this? I expected that everyone was friendly and polite because it was just our second time to meet each other. I felt excluded as he kept calling me "stupid". I am always nice, outgoing and friendly to everyone, including this guy. But now he treats me like a sh*t, so I dislike him a bit. Then I said,"i gotta go now. Today is Halloween. I 'm going to the castle with my friends now" He asked me,"oh,why didn't you invite me?" I just ignored him and walked away.

But sometimes he's nice to me. For example, he knows that I can play piano. Once he just approached me and gave me a copy of piano sheet music out of nowhere. He asked me,"hey,xxx(my name),can you play this piece?You can try to practice this one.This is an amazing piece"

Recently,he has started making fun of me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once we were sitting in the university library and using computers. He browsed my profile page on Facebook. Then he "print screen" my profile page and set it as a background picture on the desktop! OMG! It is the computer in the library! I wanted to grab the keyboard and the mouse and tried to change the background picture but he stopped me from doing this!

Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw stuff at me... he threw balloon,aubergine and lemon at me! When we were having our lunch, Peter said,"oh,my tutor is so stupid! He...blah blah blah". Then my guy friend said,"yes,he's as stupid as xxx (my name)!" but he said this to me in a playful way.

Sometimes he calls me 'fat', 'ugly', 'stupid' and 'idiot' as well (in a playful way)! I want to say I'm not ugly and fat at all! Everyone thinks that I'm so skinny! My weight is only 52kg! He has some female friends who he really thinks they are ugly but he never calls them 'ugly'! Once I asked him, "why didn't you tell them that they're ugly in front of them?" He said,"because they'll feel hurt!" I asked him,"then why do you always call me ugly?!" He said playfully,"because you won't feel hurt. Your heart is just like a brick wall! " This is so unfair!!

Every time he sees me,he just touches my hair or messes my hair up! Once he told me,"haha,you know I love your hair!" What's wrong with this guy? Sometimes he was so nice and sweet to me... but sometimes he's mean to me (though in a playful way)! And once I asked him,"why do you always wind me up?" He said,"because I just love winding you up! haha"

He sounds immature and maybe he thinks he's being funny.
He would get on my nerves and I would have no problem not having anything more to do with him, I'd also tell him why. Maybe he just needs a clue.

Do you think that he just wants to get my attention or he likes me?

Could be. You should tell him that his behavior is annoying. Maybe he does not realize it.
A 19 year old boy is still basically a kid. He could also just be a jerk, in which case you tell him to leave you alone.

Sorry,I know it's a bit long... but I still hope someone would answer my question.. Thank you!

6 months ago,I used to think that John was only my friend (not close at all) and I've never seen him in that way because I liked another guy (called David) a lot! Once John told me we were friends and I was happy.However,he always b****ed about David's face telling me that David was so ugly,Daivd's face was just like a brick wall or rubbish bin... etc. The comments were very harsh. John and David don't know each other very well.They are just acquaintances... but they don't hate/dislike each other.They are just like hi-bye friends.

5 months ago,it was my farewell party.During the party,John sent me a text in front of me telling me "I love you xxx(my name) - shh don't tell anyone". John and I were alone in the kitchen after the farewell party.John drank some vodka and he was tipsy.He started b****ing about David's face again (David wasn't there).He kept winding me up(making fun of me).When I reacted,he laughed!He asked me who was better-looking - He or David? He even asked me whether David had hugged me before and whether I was happy when David was hugging me.Then John asked me for a hug.To my surprise,he walked up behind me and put his arms around my neck and my shoulder/my stomach!He stroked my hair slowly and gently from the top to the bottom!He also gently and slowly touched my forearms with his arms.Then he hugged me again without any reasons (he hugged me in front this time).He grabbed my mobile phone,changed David's name into his name and changed his name into David's name on my phone(I meant the telephone contact lists).

The next day,I told my close friend Chris about what John had done to me after the farewell party.Chris thought that John liked me.Although Chris and John are just acquaintances,Chris asked John whether he liked me or not while I wasn't there! OMG!Thanks Chris! John said,"no,I don't like her.She's weird.She's just a nice friend" After Chris had left,John and I were alone again.John started bragging about his exam results in front of me.He gave me a piece of paper and said,"hey,xxx(my name),look,this is my exam result!I've just checked it online.I got 1st class.I didn't revise at all until a day before the exams.I'm very happy today!xxx,please don't tell anyone.You are the first person who knows my results.Even my flatmate hasn't known this" blah blah blah... 2 days later,I saw John again and his flatmate was also there.We were talking and John suddenly asked me,"xxx,do you want to lick my leg?" Next day(one day before I left the university because I was moving to another city),John asked me a question out of nowhere,"xxx(my name),do you like me?" I said,"what?" He said,"sexually" Then both of us laughed together.When I said goodbye to him,he felt a bit sad and said,"i'll never see you again..." I smiled and said,"I'm moving to Bath and your home town is also in Bath.So we can see each other during holiday" He was still sad and said,"there are a lot of people in Bath..." Then I left...

A few days later,John and I were on Skype.He called me and we talked to each other on Skype.He asked me to turn on my webcam.Then he kept calling me 'ugly' and 'fat' (I'm very skinny actually)!I said I had to turn off my webcam now.Then he said,"no no no!" Later on,another friend of mine,Susan joined our conversation.Susan asked John to pretend to be my boyfriend for one day in order to get David jealous.Then John refused because he thought that David wouldn't believe that as I'm 5 years older than John. John told Susan in front of me,"I would never go out with xxx(my name) because she's 5 years older than me" and then he repeated this sentence again.He also said to me,"we are good friends now.It's impossible to date a friend"

1 week later,John and I were in Bath.I asked him to be my tour guide.During the 13 hours trip,he b*tched about David's face again and again out of nowhere!He even asked me to buy a new pair of glasses so that I'd no longer be blind and I'd no longer think that David was handsome.Once he said to me,"Look at that building,my girl,it's called...." At the end of the trip,he took my mobile phone and asked me,"Can I change David's name to my name of the contact lists on your phone?" I asked him why but he didn't answer.When he was walking me to the bus stop at the end of the trip,he changed the clock on my mobile phone to one hour behind in time when I didn't notice him.Then when I was talking to him on Skype after I went home,he asked me to go to his home town again the next day because he wanted to spend more time with me.But then he said,"ummm...we..we..are close friends now"

We talked to each other a couple of times on Skype after that (within 3 months).Our conversation usually lasted for 1hour to 3 hours.Once we had talked for 5 hours.He suddenly asked me,"xxx,do you like me?" I said,"um..in what way?" He said,"sexually".Then I told him to f**k off! He laughed.Once we even talked for 9 hours.He told me to turn on my webcam almost every time we were talking.We often exchanged bantered with each other.We also talked about music,life,value,jobs,friends... etc. We were happy and we laughed a lot.Although he's a joking person and likes messing with me/winding me up,we did have serious conversation.During the 9 hours conversation,he suddenly asked me,"xxx,who do you like at this moment?" I didn't answer his question but he kept asking me.I kept telling him "it's none of your business" but he kept going and asking me for 3-4 times! Later on,he asked me out of nowhere,"xxx,everyone loves you,do you love me?" I said "yes,of course" Then he asked me,"then do you love me sexually?" I just laughed off. After awhile,he asked me,"you said you used to like David.Then,have you ever slept with him?" I said "no,but I wanted to" Then he asked me,"If David asked you to marry him at that time,would you say yes?" I said "no" He asked me why. I said,"because he's weird.Though I liked him a lot,it wasn't enough for me to marry him"

A few days later,John and I met up.We were invited to Susan's house and had dinner together.When John and I were alone in Susan's bedroom and I was charging his mobile phone,John suddenly touched and played with my hair.(He used to tell me he loved my hair).He also touched my back!When I asked him what was wrong with him.He just kept laughing!Then he suddenly closed the door of the bedroom and then continued touching my hair and my back!He even put my hair into his mouth and he bit it,and he told me,"xxx,the smell of your hair is even better than your cooking" When we were having dinner,he played footsie with me.Sometimes he asked me a question out of nowhere,"oh,so..now you want me to replace David?"

Once John and I went to a supermarket and bought some food and drinks. He likes beers and wines.He picked up a bottle of wine but he put it back on the shelf after awhile.I wondered why he did this.I asked,"oh?you don't want to buy wine? I thought you liked wine" He said,"If I buy wine,I'm going to lose you" After we left the supermarket,I told him that I was going to introduce him a guy friend of mine (Tom) who I met 2 days ago... I said,"I'll introduce a guy to you because both of you love classical music." John asked,"who's he?How did you meet him?" I said,"well....i first met him 2 days ago in my friend's kitchen.He can also play piano.He's my friend...ah no! He's my sort-of friend" Then John put his right arm on my right shoulder and asked me with a smile,"then,am I your sort-of friend?"

1 month later,when our group of friends were dancing in a nightclub,I sent John a text in front of him and our mutual friends. The text is "I love you - shh don't tell anyone" He looked a bit confused when he received the text. After we finished dancing,he and another friend,Tom,sat next to me on a bench. Tom asked us whether we were still hungry or not. I said "yes,i'm still hungry". Then, John suddenly put his arm around my waist,and his hand is on my belly. He stroked my belly and asked me playfully,"you've eaten a lot in the buffet.Why do you still feel hungry?" I was shocked and I screamed. He got his hand off immediately. Luckily nobody else noticed what we were doing. Later on, Tom left. Then John showed me the text which I had sent to him... and he asked me directly, "why are you sending me the text?" He looked confused and he kept looking at the text... I said,"because the music in the club was too loud. That's why I just sent you the text" He still kept looking at the text. I felt very embarrassed and went to the toilet immediately...

Actually I'm a shy person.Every time he flirts with me or touches me,I just keep laughing and that's it.I never try to touch him or show any interest in him.I'm just friendly although I like him.

I met John again 1 month ago.We had good times together. When I said goodbye to him,I asked him for a hug and he was a bit shocked (Come on!He often hugs other female friends).He was just standing there.. then I asked him,"are we friends?". He kept saying "no" but I kept asking him whether we were friends. Finally he said "yes,I was just joking".Then he gave me a hug and left.I felt regretful afterwards so I immediately sent him a text asking him "Do you really think that I was just joking when I sent you the text in Kasbah(the nightclub where we danced last time)last week?" He didn't reply. Then I sent him another text, "I think it's time for us to put everything on the table now. Have you ever loved me as more than a friend? Actually I did and I do love you" But he didn't reply to my text.

One week later,my best friend,Susan phoned me and told me that she bumped into John in the library. They talked a bit. Susan(John knows Susan and I are best friends) asked him whether he had contacted me recently. He said "no" and then he suddenly showed her the texts which I sent to him! He told Susan that the text was so weird and he was confused. Susan told him that I had also shown her the text before. He told her that he was confused because he didn't know whether I was serious or just joking. He hadn't replied to my text because he didn't know how to reply and he's not sure if I was serious. He was confused.Then Susan told him,"I think that she is serious" He was still confused...

Then Susan asked him,"don't you also love her? You've told her that 'I LOVE YOU',right?"

He said,"no! I didn't tell her 'i love you'. I just told her 'I like you'. It's 'LIKE', not 'love'! "

He continued,"I know she used to like David,and now she likes me?....it's weird"

Before John left,Susan asked him to phone me and to talk to me by himself. He said that he would. But he hasn't phoned me or replied to my text since then!

By the way,he was lying to Susan!Actually he told me he loved me on Skype 2-3 months ago and he told me 3 times although I didn't think he meant it because he didn't say it seriously.

Hi
Your story is like a interesting novel.I mean that it was so long but fascinating... I don't believe my eyes that I spent 20 minutes to read it!
You know what?I'm still confusing about something's.you said that 6 months ago you used to love David and changed your mind in such short time!wasn't it a mutual love?look,I'm not that old to suggest you a way but I know how to behave toward these people,well.I'm not that sure but I think john just needs somebody to have kind of sexual relationships and he's not even sure about his feelings.he certainly has a GF,doesn't he? or he behaves in such ways because he might be drank most of the times... you said that you're 5 years older than him but how old is he?
I've heard and read a lot that these stuffs might be the symptoms of a disease caused by loneliness or being ignored by others or bad experiments in his last relationships or even childhood.I think you are a sociable person and you can make friends soon.I'm sure that you'll find a good guy whom you love enough to get married and he's not jealous like him.So,don't you think that staying as a good friend with John like before is better?If I was you I would never send a guy like him "I love u" even for fun! That's crazy and also ridiculous for me to spoil myself in front of others to tell a person "are we friends or somethings like that?" who actually can not realize what is real love and says :"like is like and love is love and they're not related" then just wants to touch.I didn't want to insult or say bad things to you about your friends.as the last sentence I can say that if you love him,don't... because he doesn't worth it to stay with him as a girl friend.

All threads merged to keep this confusing novel in one place.

Oh,come on!This is not a novel.It's my personal experience!

If as a adult I would believe they were not being very mature, and acting like grown ups. Sounds much more Jr High than adults who are suppose to be able to really talk and understand the right place and time for things.

It takes me a great deal of time to type this post... Where is my post? :'-(

They were all merged together as one, so we can see the WHOLE story, and there is no need to keep repeating it over, just update/ask a question you have here.

And if you scroll down a bit there is a place to add to this post, and you can stop comment to others posts and elaborate better. Things are much easier to follow for us, and follow up on for you.

Thank you very much for reading my post.It's very kind of you :-)

To Soraya.n,

Ok,let me clear things up.I had liked David for 8 months since last year,but my feelings for him started going away 6 months ago because he rejected me and he didn't like me in that way :-( I tried to move on.At that time,John seemed to show interest in me.

So you think John just wants to have sex with me instead of liking me as a person?You think he sees me only as an object?If it's true,then he's so pathetic!Why do you think that he's not sure about his feelings?If he doesn't like me or doesn't have feelings for me,then why did he get jealous?This is called jealous moron.

No,John doesn't have a GF.He's single. He doesn't get drunk often and it's not easy for him to get drunk. He's 19 years old.I'm not sure whether he's lonely or not.. but he's single for awhile already (he used to have one GF a few years ago).Long time ago,John told me he seldom or never pursued girls.He just let girls come to him.He even told me when he saw a girl he liked,he just appreciated her from afar like "oh,I like her".Then,that's it.He wouldn't pursue her or tell her he likes her.He also told me he wasn't a kiss-and-tell person.When he likes a girl,he never tells anyone (including his friends)who he likes.

I texted him telling him 'i love you' not for fun.I did mean it because I like him as more than a friend.I don't know how he feels.I know he likes me a lot but I'm not sure if he likes me as more than a friend or only as a good friend.I really want to know this... Since he hasn't responded to my text,so I have no idea how he feels.Now,I just want to know whether he has liked me as more than a friend at one point... even if it's just a little bit... a tiny little bit... If not,then he's leading me on... :-(

If he doesn't like me in that way,I'd rather be rejected by getting his text telling me that "i like you only as a friend" or "no,I don't love you in that way.We are always good friends" something like that.So I can just get over him and move on.It'll make my life easier.. but now... he doesn't even responded to my text! I mean... is it really difficult to say "no" or "yes"?! I'm sorry.. I'm a bit emotional now...

There is a follow-up question :-)

Case 1:I met a guy in my university (in a rehearsal in music society) one week ago. He was quite nice and friendly.I introduced myself and we talked a bit. After we have finished our first rehearsal, all of us (members) had a social in a bar. This guy approached me and he pointed at the pool table and asked me(he smiled and he was friendly),"do you want to play the pool?I can teach you" I said "ah..okay". Later, he approached me again and asked me,"i can compose music. You can come to my room (he lives on campus) next time and I'll show you my works". I was like "umm..." Later on,he said this to me again.

Case 2:I met a guy 10 days ago.Both of us can play piano and we talk about music a lot.After 10 days,he asked me my phone number,and he phoned me that night asking me whether I'd be free.I said yes.Then he asked me to go to his house and to have dinner with him.He said he would cook for me.I eventually went to his house and we had dinner together.

I just want to know whether these are dates or these guys are just friendly?

What do you think about case 1 and case 2? Dates or just being friendly?

Your threads were merged yet again, so we are not confused more than what we are. Please learn how to properly use this site and keep it simple so we know what you are talking about.


Why not see them as both (friendly dating) because that's what dating is all about. Being friendly and enjoying time together to get to know someone well enough to see if there is more than friendship. Sometimes it is, and sometimes its not. You never know until you date and find out, not only about their feelings, but your own also.

The good news is you can enjoy it until you make up your mind and date any one you please while you are single.

Then you don't have to wonder, assume, or presume what someone else is thinking, or their motives, or intentions. At least that's the way we did it back in the day when it was okay for men and women just to be friends that had fun together, because we were single and free.

Most times the person you are dating has as much curiosity, and attraction as the other person does, and wonders the same things about YOU, that you wonder about them.

Hi wonmum,
I'm glad that you've found my answer helpful and I'm sorry that I couldn't help you so much.Nowadays it is really common for women to ask guys out.I think that it will help you to get rid of confusing if you meet him and ask face to face whether he loves you in that way or not instead of sending text messages or even asking others to talk to him.I guess he loves you and surly you do too... but I can not get it why he hasn't replied! Maybe there were some technical problems.. . But this time you try to ask him directly.