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RMD95 · Apr 15, 2012, 03:54 AM

Hey guys, my girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, I am very shocked, 3 - 4 days ago she was on a school trip in SA, she was sending me texts how much she misses me and how much she loves me and that that won't change anytime soon, I hadn't seen her for about 12 days, yesterday we went on a walk and suddenly she says her feelings aren't as strong as they were anymore and she wants to break up, she said she talked about it with people and she says she grew up, I am just confused and I don't know what to say, I mean one moment she is so on love with me and then she doesn't, I think that because she was with her friends in SA and she had a lot of fun, she maybe forgot how it is to be with me, or maybe I'm just trying to find excuses, I'm only 16 and my life has just collapsed in one day... Anyone have advice what to do? Idk whether I should tell her this or not...

talaniman · Apr 15, 2012, 12:03 PM

Tell her nothing. Getting dumped all of a sudden sucks a lot. But you just leave her alone and bow out gracefully, and go back to doing your thing that you did before you got with her. Your life will get back to normal, and you will check out others. Its not going to happen in a day or week, but it will.

No magic advice for getting over being dumped, you just survive and move on, and keep your dignity, and self respect. Happens to us all, some more than others.

Lilninjadiva12 · Apr 16, 2012, 08:16 AM

Try talk to her and find out why, DONT PRESURE HER TO TELL YOU! ask her to tell you why the feelings are not strong anymore, if its something you did and end of with you respect her choice descian and bye. WALK AWAY Im really sorry about your breaking up but it gets better with time OK?

Originally Posted by talaniman

Tell her nothing. Getting dumped all of a sudden sucks a lot. But you just leave her alone and bow out gracefully, and go back to doing your thing that you did before you got with her. Your life will get back to normal, and you will check out others. Its not going to happen in a day or week, but it will.

No magic advice for getting over being dumped, you just survive and move on, and keep your dignity, and self respect. Happens to us all, some more than others.

I don't really agree. Let him find out what went wrong then walk out! Source; A girl would want you to do that

Fr_Chuck · Apr 16, 2012, 08:44 AM

I am sorry, but in most cases you will never know and if you push someone to "tell you" most likely they say something nice to make you feel better or worst, they get mad at you bothering them and just say something hateful to get rid of you. You almost never get the truth in a break up. You are broke up, there is no real closure except to just stop contact and slowly move on.

JudyKayTee · Apr 16, 2012, 08:48 AM

Originally Posted by Lilninjadiva12

Try talk to her and find out why, DONT PRESURE HER TO TELL YOU! ask her to tell you why the feelings are not strong anymore, if its something you did and end of with you respect her choice descian and bye. WALK AWAY Im really sorry about your breaking up but it gets better with time ok?

It's over - why pressure her to do anything. Would understanding "why" help anyone? No.

What does "descian" mean?

Originally Posted by Lilninjadiva12

I dont really agree. Let him find out what went wrong then walk out! Source; A girl would want you to do that

Not all girls would want you to do that. Maybe you would. Maybe she would. All girls? I don't think so.

Backing someone into a corner is never a good way to get information.

You don't have to agree with all of the advice. This is not a chat site.

talaniman · Apr 16, 2012, 08:59 AM

Originally Posted by Lilninjadiva12

Try talk to her and find out why, DONT PRESURE HER TO TELL YOU! ask her to tell you why the feelings are not strong anymore, if its something you did and end of with you respect her choice descian and bye. WALK AWAY Im really sorry about your breaking up but it gets better with time ok?

I dont really agree. Let him find out what went wrong then walk out! Source; A girl would want you to do that

It no longer matters why a partner dumps you, all that matters is how you handle it and who cares what a girl that dumps you wants any more.

selvia-ok · Apr 17, 2012, 05:26 AM

I think , she found a guy in her travel

Lilninjadiva12 · Apr 17, 2012, 06:50 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

It no longer matters why a partner dumps you, all that matters is how you handle it and who cares what a girl that dumps you wants any more.

Finding out what went wrong makes you feel better! Would you want to live saying what went wrong? I don't think so

JudyKayTee · Apr 17, 2012, 06:58 AM

Originally Posted by Lilninjadiva12

Finding out what went wrong makes you feel better! Would you wanna live saying what went wrong? I dont think so

This is not a chat board. Maybe finding out "what went wrong," pressuring someone into saying anything to end the conversation would work for you. Finding out someone thinks you're a jerk (or whatever else went on) isn't necessarily good for the ego.

Finding out wouldn't work for everybody. At some point in life you need to say, "It's over for whatever reason" and move on.

talaniman · Apr 17, 2012, 07:12 AM

Those questions are usually answered when you get dumped. Most people never take it for truth because they are to hurt, or never understand, so they keep asking, and asking, and still never understand, or more importantly never ACCEPT IT.

Most times nothing goes wrong, it just didn't work, the experiment failed, peoples feelings change, or in the case of the poster, he was the last to know, because she had been thinking of dumping him, for a long time, and that's a shocking thing to lay in someone's lap.

What goes wrong has many answers, and they all boil down to one thing, a break up. I suspect the poster wants closure, and a chance to speak your peace, unfortunately, once some dumpers have done the deed, they just want out, but once acceptance has been gained, understanding comes, and so does the start of the healing process. What makes you feel better is healing, and getting on to the next event of your life.

You make your own closure. You may never get it from someone else, or the real truth of the matter. That's been my experience.

joypulv · Apr 17, 2012, 09:38 AM

At your age, feelings turn on a DIME.
Sure, going away for 12 days can do it. So can not going anywhere. It can be any reason. You are both changing constantly, just not on the same day, unfortunately.
I agree that asking is fruitless.
Thinking back to high school, not easy when I'm 65, I had a boyfriend I broke up with after I met someone else, even though I hadn't even begun to go out with the new one. I just knew that I had lost the feeling for the first one, and I had a terrible time trying to explain to him, which he wanted to hear or change my mind. It wasn't pleasant at all. Don't try!