Hi,

I have a problem, and I have had it for quite some time now. I know many of you probably feel this is not even that big a problem, but I'm really frustrated and hurt by it. What's my problem? The following...

I haven't had many friends in my life. I've always been someone who's alone. Until last year. Someone from school was online and he started talking to me. We seemed to get along perfectly, and to make a long story short, we became friends, and I got accepted into a group of friends, who eventually became my friends...

When we went somewhere, this person (let's call him A) was always talking to me, and I felt at home. But a short while ago, someone new (B) came into our group. A was asking me to go to the prom with him, because his girlfriend couldn't make it. But I didn't want to go at first. So I refused. After asking 3 times in a week, he asked someone none of us had ever seen before, a hint from someone else. She accepted, and off they went. Ever since that moment, I feel I lost a friend.

I get along great with B, and with A as well, but they're always talking to each other, it's like I don't exist anymore. And it's quite obvious A has some strong feelings for A, maybe a bit stronger than just friendship, although he denies it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not jealoudge of that. It's just that I hoped we could become 3 close friends, not 2 very close friends who're always laughing and talking and one they just ask out of pitty. The whole group is going on holiday to the sea, and I was the only one who wasn't invited to come along. And I'm not the person to invite myself. I REALLY wanted to go too.

They probably know that I'm not feeling all too well. I was quite depressed and they kept asking what's wrong, but they won't invite me on a trip and when I'm out with them, it's like I don't exist! :'(

And maybe if I were a , I could understand, but I'm always the one sacrificing myself to help others. And then I'm just put aside when someone comes along who's prettier and a little more comfortable in a group then me.
All I want now is to know how I get to be friends with A AND with B as it was before A met B. (So I stay good friends with B, but become equally good friends with A again as A is with B)...

I know, this is probably quite a text to read, but I really need help, because I'm already somewhat depressed, and with this new problem, I just feel so... heavy...

Thanks for your aide! I really appreciate it... :-/

Forget about A He sound like he only became friends with you to get you in the sack and when you turn him down for the prom It was his calling card in finding someone else. B sounds promisely he's a keeper.

O.K. here we go, the other replie was lame! Some more time could have been put into it, but it wouldn't tell us anything useful, cause its rubbish... Sorry.
These situations suck and happen to everyone from time to time, it's just something that you have to accept that's happened and solve it in as less time you need... I know that I hurts and for the mean while you may feel left out it's normal, the secret is pacients and intelligence.
View this situation from a wide angle, you and him. He needs someone to do what he wants to do and creates ''friendship'' with the person who gives them that. A perfect example is yours, he couldn't count with you to do what he wanted to do, so he found someone else. What's to learn? Everyone is looking for someone who does the same things as them or that simply is with them to go to the ''cool'' places or to see the group of girls he likes... people need loyal companions. Leason is that you can become a loyal companion on the short run, it sucks! Maybe... however you make a loyal friend and a new group ;) The secret to this is to find someone ''cool'' or ''popular'' who you know and make contact with them and become their loyal companion (if you want to know how to achieve this ask... I've done this before :) ) This has 2 ways out you make a new friend you like and want to stay with or you spend a lot of time with them until your old friends want to be with you because your with someone cooler then them. 8)
Second option is pacients... this I have never done, however in theory it should work. The other guy is a ''loyal companion'' for now, however one day not to far away he will say no and your inical friend will come back on you if you accept.
Third... the hardest option, become the second guys friend and take him from the incial friend :) this is not the best option.

Main Advice- Be up for anything, i.e. your want to do this? Yes, you want to go there? Yes... always be up for anything if its with the person you want to be with. The more time your together, the better friends you will become (as a general rule). Secondly always have something to do, if they don't invite you to the trip, at least tell them that you've got something on with someone else (neigbours are a good excuse) to not look like a looser.


I know this makes friendship sound horrible, but it is mainly about convinence... I wish it wasn't but it is, look what happened to you.

Good luck, anyquestions just ask =)


Tim

Hi

Just from the length of your question it seems that you are having great difficulty.

Firstly, what is friend?

A friend should be someone you can talk to and trust at all times. A friend should be a shoulder to cry on and also allow him/her to cry on yours. A friend is someone you can have fun with and allow yourself to be natural at all times.

If this person does not fit that profile, then he/her is not a true friend at all.

Keep looking you will find this special person to be your friend :)