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bexxx · Jul 5, 2009, 02:13 PM

I have this guy who's a super close friend and I really really love him. I sometimes feel like he's the only friend I can have a good time with and I'm almost always talking about him, and always thinking about him. I told all my friend's I loved him but I'm pretending that I don't fancy him anymore because I didn't feel 'safe'. He's in the year above me but I don't think that really matters. He knows I like someone but he doesn't know its him, but he might have clicked on. I always talk about my problems to him, like whether I should ask the guy I love out and he says I should, but he may/may not know it's him. He used to fancy a friend of mine and it hurt soooo much, he says he doesn't fancy her anymore but I'm not so sure. I really really love him but don't want to ask him out because I'm waaay too scared and it'll probably jeaprodise the friendship as well, which would be UNBEARABLE. I don't want him to break my heart, but I tell myself I must be patient, but how long will I be waiting? Also, if I tell him he's the one I fancy, he'll know that all those convo's we had about the guy I fancied were about him, and that would freak him, I think. I have so many problems about him, can anyone help me? Please try to answer all aspects of my problem, I really need the help. Thank you.

Simone21295 · Jul 5, 2009, 03:00 PM

I would ask him, but in a joking manner. Just casually start talking about guys and how he is better than them. Not in a way to boast him, but to talk down about others. Ask him "if we weren't just friends would you date me?". Don't be to serious, say it like that idea just suddenly popped in your head. See what he says and then quickly change the subject. At least that's what I would do.

barbiechick123 · Jul 5, 2009, 07:48 PM

I agree with Simone, that or you can choose the option of asking him who he likes, if he likes you he'll make it obvious. If the response hurts cause it's not you, at least you won't feel embarrassed or awkward afterward. But sometimes, the only sure fire way to make things happen is just to let someone know how you feel, if he breaks your heart "so what?" you'll get over it soon enough, and you'll know the truth.If the friendship becomes rocky, then it sucks but he wasn't a true friend anyway. I know it seems like the complete "heck no" option, but just keep in mind, that sooner or later he'll find out, and sometimes sooner is the best option.

3someone3 · Jul 5, 2009, 08:47 PM

Or... you could just start flirting more with him and see if he flirts back, if he does your in the red zone and you should pull the trigger. If not well at least you tried and won't live with it for the rest of your life. Yes it may jeopardise your friendship, maybe, maybe not. BUt.. you have to remember that you have to risk it to get the biscuit if not you will never get anything :) hope this helped

funkygirl613 · Jul 6, 2009, 11:08 AM

I say go for it! I've been in the same situation before,plenty of times.Some work out,and we end out dating,but some don't.But,if you two are good friends,I don't think the friendship should be affected.Maybe if your too scared to do it in public,maybe slip him a note (:
I hope I helped a little (:

bexxx · Jul 6, 2009, 12:25 PM

Thank you for all your answers, I'm pretty sure they'll all be used some way or another :)

HelpinHere · Jul 12, 2009, 05:45 PM

All I have to say is this:
I've asked a VERY close friend out, and been rejected, mutliple times. I've also been asked out by (and rejected) another close friend. It really doesn't mess up a friendship. In all actuality, if YOU (the asker) don't make it akward, it won't be. Usually (in all cases I've seen) the one asked will be smart enough to know that you are still who you are, and just because you like them it doesn't change anything. They are flattered by the compliment, as they usually see this kind of thing. However, they will still be your same old friend in the long run.

However, that is just based off my personal experience. I'm not sure where you are, but I don't think that teenagers' mindsets are completely opposite anywhere in the world. Just don't make a big deal of it, and he shouldn't.

Good luck, and remember, when/if you do ask him, it's better to be told "no" than to wonder "what if."

bassplaya284049 · Jul 12, 2009, 07:09 PM

Go for it I'm in a similar situtation and its maddening. You're name isn't kim is it??