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    simplicity16's Avatar
    simplicity16 Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Feb 28, 2011, 03:45 AM
    I don't know her feeling anymore
    I am really stressed out by my relationship with a girl in my class. I have been texting her for 4 years and we are in the same class. Recently I asked if she would be my girlfriend during valentine day but I was rejected. She told me she was not ready for a relationship and treat me just as a friend. In the past she told me she liked me and I thought it was a hint but then that day she said she only liked me as a friend..
    After the incident, she stopped wearing a watch I gave her and she seemed to be flirting more with another classmate of mine.
    I don't know how she feels towards me. Should I let this go? Or should I go for it? And what should I do now?
    Thank you for your time and I appreciate every comment.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #2

    Feb 28, 2011, 04:20 AM

    How old are the two of you?

    You should let it go. She already told you that she doesn't have any more than friendly feelings for you.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #3

    Feb 28, 2011, 04:51 AM
    You can't stop thinking about someone who rejected you; yes, you do no contact.
    You study, work, hang out with friends, exercise, get a hobby, visit family, and hang out even more with friends. You don't mention it much except to one close friend, or you will start to bring people down. Just say 'I'm suffering right now so please drag me wherever you go and let me just soak up you all having a good time.'
    It's their Job to Help You Forget.

    Ditto. It couldn't be more clear.
    Try to think of some girls you know and like and then imagine being their boyfriend - you can't imagine it, right? It isn't that they disgust you; you just don't feel romantic towards them. That's how she feels.

    And you shouldn't be giving real gifts in your teens either, especially when you are just friends.
    A gift that is meant to be seen in public on a regular basis is just going to hurt when it isn't there anymore. A book, something edible, etc, is much less of a burden on the recipient, or the giver.
    ken007nielsen's Avatar
    ken007nielsen Posts: 288, Reputation: 211
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    #4

    Feb 28, 2011, 06:19 AM
    Yes, because I'm guessing the girl that rejected you is the reason you feel depressed in the first place.
    So each time you think of her, you feel bad - the thing about no contact is, that it will give you time to grow and get over what happened between you two.

    So follow the advise from the poster above!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Mar 1, 2011, 10:19 PM

    Rejections can be depressing but as Joypulv so eloquently expressed forget them and get busy having fun, and the depression will pass, and you will set your sights elsewhere.

    The secret of coping with rejection, NEVER TAKE IT PERSONALLY, it's their loss. ALWAYS!!
    simplicity16's Avatar
    simplicity16 Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #6

    Mar 2, 2011, 01:52 AM
    Thanks for all your answers and moral support!

    But doesn't every relationship start from friends? I mean is there any possible way to advance? Because I am at the same class and I see her everyday. I talk to her everyday and if I suddenly go NC it would be weird.

    March 17th update

    After listening to the advices given by members from this site, I decided to just let her go. But now I do not know how to do it. I know that I still like her and coupled with the fact that I meet her everyday in school and sms her, it is hard for me to leave her out of my mind. Is there anyway that I could do to lose my feelings for her but at the same time without being out of normal to her?
    bakerben10's Avatar
    bakerben10 Posts: 15, Reputation: 2
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    #7

    Mar 20, 2011, 08:40 PM
    I haven't read nor could I find the original story but what I'm getting you were having a problem with a girl in the past and I'm presuming your in high school as well you see her everyday, she was the love of your life things went down hill you have decided to break it off and cut your losses but your not sure how... yes?

    OK if so then the best thing to do, is talk to her! Tell her how you feel. If your sure of yourself tell her how you feel in a respectable matter, but be prepared to recive any reactions that she may give because teen age girls can be pretty mean but hold your head up high and let here know. Remember face to face break ups are better than text or a phone call and deffinatly don't do Facebook. Be a gental man about it to maintain dignity
    simplicity16's Avatar
    simplicity16 Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #8

    Mar 24, 2011, 03:46 AM
    Comment on bakerben10's post
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/dont-know-her-feeling-anymore-558438.html
    Thanks, the link is up there. Anyway it is not important. But I encounter 2 problems. I can't find a time to tell her privately. Second, why should I tell her? What do I expect her to do?
    bakerben10's Avatar
    bakerben10 Posts: 15, Reputation: 2
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    #9

    Jun 26, 2011, 09:26 PM
    Comment on bakerben10's post
    Dawg just be true true to yourself and to her and everything will fall in place as long asn you know what you want
    simplicity16's Avatar
    simplicity16 Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #10

    Oct 22, 2011, 03:44 AM
    Give up or not?
    Ok, I will first provide some background information. There is this girl which I have liked for 4 years in high school but we are now going separate ways. Just earlier this year, I was rejected by her. For a few months, I was deluding myself that if I tried hard enough, I would succeed. Now, I had finally came to terms with reality. I want to move on.

    I don't deny that I still have a little feelings for her, but that feelings has surfaced and haunted me again when I recently found out that she was meeting another guy after I was rejected. Then when I was rejected, She told me that she wasn't ready for a relationship; she was lying. What I was sad about was the fact that she did not come clean with me. About her relationship with my another friend after my rejection.

    Now, I am fighting over what possible actions I could take. Just 2 more months before we go separate ways. I feel that she do not really care about me, treating me just as a friend.

    Should I still treat her as a friend? Should I confront her about this matter, About why she did not tell me?
    I felt cheated, my dignity was destroyed. How should I end my high school life without regrets?
    Personally, I think I would want to confront her and end our friendship. It just hurts too much. But it is just 2 months more to endure. I am in a dilemma.
    I really need advice from all of you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #11

    Oct 22, 2011, 01:35 PM
    Multiple threads merged, and edited to keep the whole story in one place.

    She owes you no explanation about her rejection of your offer, nor any explanation of her personal life. Had you accepted her rejection with the dignity and self respect that's is required, and turned your attentions elsewhere, there would be no confusion now over what you should do.

    You leave her alone and smile and go about your own business now. She shouldn't be given any other special treatment than any other class mate. That's how you deal with her, by dealing with your own hurt feelings, without confrontation, or any explanations from her.

    Its not her fault at all that you could not handle your rejection before, as you must handle your hurt now, yourself.

    Do your thing, and let her do hers. Let it go now, like you should have before.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #12

    Oct 22, 2011, 02:52 PM
    As you have seen here, you will get different advice, and as with any advice, you chose which sounds right.
    Most of us advise NC.
    You can 'confront' her as you put it, to 'end your friendship,' but will that happen, or will the wounds re-open? Usually they re-open. The other person just isn't feeling what you are feeling and although not a callous or evil person, just doesn't care. Telling someone 'I'm not ready for a relationship' when there's a boyfriend in the wings should not be taken as lying! It's white lies, polite lies, meant to soften the blow. It would be wonderful if we all knew the right words, but they all boil down to 'You're not my type. I'm just not attracted to you. Plus I'm attracted to this other guy.' Is that what you wanted to hear, the raw truth?
    I can remember in HS when a male friend started blushing around me and I could tell he had a crush. Of course this was 50 years ago, but it's not so different, just the computers and phones. It made me uncomfortable. I sort of backed away. Now of course it's all just teenage stuff to enjoy in memories.
    You have to face the fact that teen friendships are as volatile as a breeze. Best friends go through the same rejection as loves often times.
    Does it help to know we all go through this, sooner or later? Maybe not much, but you will see as the years go by.
    bakerben10's Avatar
    bakerben10 Posts: 15, Reputation: 2
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    #13

    Dec 10, 2011, 12:13 PM
    Move on and save yourself the hurt

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