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    sGt HarDKorE's Avatar
    sGt HarDKorE Posts: 656, Reputation: 98
    Senior Member

    Aug 19, 2007, 07:27 PM
    Divorced Parents
    I am 15, turning 16 in October. My parents have been divorced since I can remember. I visit my dad every other weekend. My question is when I turn 16, I plan to go to more parties and such because I can drive. How do I separate from the dad? On those weekeds I would rather do other things, it already interferes with many things. My dad isn't the greatest dad. He make me and my brother share a bed even though he has a 8000 square foot house... I get no sleep there and my step mom is worse than he is. If I stopped going there on his weekends would I or my mom get in trouble? I would still visit him but not spend the night.
    xEoMxMoAxx's Avatar
    xEoMxMoAxx Posts: 53, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member

    Aug 19, 2007, 07:29 PM
    I would just tell him that you're older now. I'm sure if u just talk to him and like politely say that your getting older and have more things to do like party's and stuff I'm sure he'll understand he was that age once too.
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
    Ultra Member

    Aug 19, 2007, 07:33 PM
    Chances are that in order for you to stop going to your dad's on the weekend there would have to be a modification to your parents visitation schedule that was outlined in their divorce decree.

    I would talk to your Mom and your Dad about your concerns for your social life. Does your Dad live far away from your Mom's house making it impossible to go see buddies or go to parties on the weekend?
    retsoksirhc's Avatar
    retsoksirhc Posts: 912, Reputation: 71
    Senior Member

    Aug 19, 2007, 08:32 PM
    Unfortunately, I agree. Until you are 18, your dad still has legal custody of you every other weekend, and you personally can't do too much about that rather than either 1) Talking to him, or 2) Trying to get that legally changed. Just try talking to him about it, if you can.
    buzzman's Avatar
    buzzman Posts: 54, Reputation: 9
    Junior Member

    Aug 20, 2007, 02:17 AM
    Divorce is always an unfortunate incident. I can tell you that I am divorced with two children from the previous marriage. First off, my heart goes out to you for having to go through what you have gone through. Adults have a very hard time separating the legal system from what is right and wrong. Many times its because of the choices they make. The problem is, kids get caught in the middle of the mess and have to grow up faster than you should. Not all is their fault, it is a sign of the times we live in today, but they do need to take responsibility for their actions. I have always given my kids the choice to see me regardless of the court order. In just about every case, they desire to see me. The only time they don't is when they have sports or other activities they are involved in. Regardless of whether he has a legal right to keep you there until you are 18, you should be able to talk about your wants and needs like an open book. The only way I would disagree with the parties is if it became a bad habit. Also, would he not let you go to the party on the night he had you on the weekend? You would still be coming home to his house anyway, assuming you weren't thinking about staying out all night, then that would be a problem regardless of who's house you were living at. Is it actually true he makes you and your brother stay in the same room in an 8000 SQuare ft house? It seems outrageous to me. If that really is true, its sounds like you have a monster of a Stepmom. Hang in there kid, just try to learn from this and not make the same mistakes you're parents did. Don't put the pressure of having sex too young on yourself, you will make bad choices.
    xxmissconfusedxx's Avatar
    xxmissconfusedxx Posts: 121, Reputation: 5
    Junior Member

    Aug 20, 2007, 07:18 AM
    Talk to your dad about it.
    Your getting older you need your space.
    LearningAsIGo's Avatar
    LearningAsIGo Posts: 2,653, Reputation: 350

    Aug 20, 2007, 08:08 AM
    If you just stopped going without his approval, it could get you and your mother in trouble (I'm assuming that was arranged by a judge)

    You'll just have to speak with him. He'll understand what its like to be a guy your age, but now that he's a dad he may not like the idea of you being out at night. You might be able to strike a compromise and see him on Wednesdays rather than Saturday, for example. Or he might be willing to let you have friends over his house... or that may inspire him to let you go rather than let them come over! ;)
    He might be mad at first, but try and keep your temper, which will help you get through to him.
    sGt HarDKorE's Avatar
    sGt HarDKorE Posts: 656, Reputation: 98
    Senior Member

    Oct 10, 2007, 05:47 PM
    If I get a job, as ill be 16 in 4 days, and I have to work on the weekends and I have to work on his weekend what am I suppose to do? I can't take of every other weekend because that's kind of unrofessional. I can't go to his house during the week because I have homework and other school activies. I wouldn't need a job if he would pay for some things but he isn't, and I'm fine with that. What should I do about this?
    mwilliams15's Avatar
    mwilliams15 Posts: 172, Reputation: 24
    Junior Member

    Oct 10, 2007, 06:16 PM
    Well.. seeing as you are turning 16, you may not have to visit him anymore anyway. You should talk to your mom about it if you haven't. Also, talk to your dad about it. I think it would help if you were just honest. Tell him that you care about him and you want to spend time with him sometimes, but you're getting older and its important for you to get out and spend more time with your friends. You're a teenager, he should understand that you don't want to be cooped up with your dad sharing a bed with your brother on the weekends, lol. Anyway.. I hope you can get it worked out... and Happy sweet 16 =)

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