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Thinkaboutit · Dec 29, 2014, 01:34 PM

Me and me dad had a huge talk last night, he has decided that he's not going to tell me what to do anymore that I can make me own choices. If I want to go out I can, I can come home when ever I like, basically whatever I like. I asked him why and he just said because. I'm confused at first I thought it was awesome I can do what ever I like but now I'm confused. Is he testing me to see how I'll behave? Because if he is I really don't want to mess it up. Maybe he's just over it and doesn't care anymore.

ScottGem · Dec 29, 2014, 01:51 PM

How old are you? Have you ever given him a reason to not trust you?

Frankly, I think it is a test.

Cat1864 · Dec 29, 2014, 02:16 PM

The more of the story: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...me-804714.html

He could be fed up after you snuck out, got drunk and injured or he may be giving you a chance to redeem yourself.

The ball is in your court. If it is a test, what are you going to do to show that he can trust you? Or will you show that you really can't be trusted?

ScottGem · Dec 29, 2014, 02:22 PM

I read a little bit of the other thread. So you are 15 and got into some very dangerous behaviors. So, yes I think this is a test. You have, apparently been badgering him to trust you again. Don't blow it this time.

Alty · Dec 29, 2014, 03:28 PM

So you're back for more advice you're going to ignore? Why bother?

That's likely what your dad is thinking as well. He's done his best to no avail, you just keep defying him. There comes a time when a parent just can't take it anymore, can't fight anymore to save their child. Obviously none of his rules have worked, none of the things that he's done has worked, you're going to do whatever you want no matter what he does, so why not just give up and let you have at it?

Now it's up to you to do better all on your own. From what you've told us, I don't think you can handle it, but hey, maybe you've finally learned your lesson? Sadly I don't think dad believes that. Dad is fed up trying to fix something you're determined to break.

DoulaLC · Dec 29, 2014, 03:45 PM

You know exactly what you need to do... now start being smarter about your decisions.

He didn't give you a curfew... give yourself one; one that is respectable and stick to it. He said you could go out whenever you want... be smart and limit how much time you go out... maybe twice a week. Be smart about who you hang out with. If it means ending friendships that will only sway you to make stupid choices, then end them. Start offering to help around the house or with yardwork. See if you can get a part-time job somewhere. Participate in some school activities. Look into volunteer work in your area, with animals, elderly, etc.

You have been given the chance for a fresh start... do the right thing. It's not a difficult situation... just think before you act for a change. Before you do anything... absolutely anything... stop and consider what would be in your best interest... not what may seem the most fun or exciting, but what would truly be in your best interest.

Make a difference in the world, starting at home and in your own neighbourhood... and make it a positive difference.

joypulv · Dec 29, 2014, 04:18 PM

He's over it? Nope.
Doesn't care anymore? Nope.
He's SICK of it all. It's all on you now, all the responsibility of life and early adulthood and all the consequences. He won't bail you out of jail. He won't talk to your school, or get you help. He won't help you when you are 17 or 18 and out on your own. Drifting around, no job, no way to get a job, using drugs, selling drugs, getting tossed in jail, over and over, until you are face down in a ditch in about 3 years.
He will cry over your corpse.
The end! He tried to be a good parent! He actively cared. Now his love is still there, but all worn out.
Good luck, you need it.

Alty · Dec 29, 2014, 04:35 PM

Have to spread the rep, but I completely agree with Joy. She said what I was trying to say but failed to do.

wop48 · Dec 29, 2014, 06:51 PM

Being a father of two boys myself, I feel your father has got to a point where he feels he will push you away if he does not back off a bit. I will bet it is breaking his heart to do this, I know it would break mine. I know your too young to understand this, but believe me there is nothing I would not do to protect my family. Behave like young person you should be, love and respect your family, in the end they are all you have.

Homegirl 50 · Dec 29, 2014, 06:55 PM

Act like you have some sense.
Keep in mind this time if you get in trouble, you are on your own which could very well mean jail.

talaniman · Dec 29, 2014, 09:30 PM

You have given him no choice but to let you fall flat on your face and want to change for the better.

Its called letting you hit rock bottom. Even if it means jail, an institution, or WORSE.

Standard tough love action for dope heads and drunks.

ScottGem · Dec 30, 2014, 05:29 AM

Wow, maybe I should have read more of the other thread. But I suspect the others have. So maybe I'm wrong about him testing you. The only good thing I see here is that you seem to be concerned about it. But will you do anything about it? From the reactions of others here you have ignored advice given you and driven your father to a breaking point.

In his defense, I think he does care about you. So much so that he is taking a tough love approach. I hope you heed this wake up call.